A Day in the Life of Fandoms
by raining13
Summary: When universes across the multiverse start to collide, the PYFF (Protect Your Fellow Fictionals) program is born, dedicated to bringing heroes together to fight evil. Bill Cipher is given a chance to come back to life, to start anew, but at a price. He must find a way to redeem himself, one way or another. Turns out he's not all that excited about it. Rated T for mild blood.
1. Chapter 1: More or Less a Trial

Rain was pretty sure the poster read "Protect Your Fellow Fictionals: Join Up to Defeat Villains, Make New Friends, Have Fun!"

Honestly, it sounded something like an advertisement for the army.

No one had seen it yet, no one had torn off the small tabs that gave the email to the place. Rain grabbed a tab and ran home.

As soon as she got into her room, she opened up the small, white laptop on her bed. She had gotten it only a couple months before for her birthday. She double clicked the mail icon, and began to write.

 _Hello there!_

 _I'm Rain, and I am very interested in your program! Please let me know of any extra information for the program!_

 _Thanks!_

It was modest, as she didn't really know anything. It was late at night, the clock read 10:07 PM, so she wasn't expecting any-

 _Ding!_

-reply...

She opened up the email floating at the top of her laptop's small screen, and read it.

 _Hello, Rain!_

 _The PYFF program welcomes you! Please reply with your address and a time that would work for our bus to come and pick you up. We will be taking you to the program building, where you can sign up and fill out some extra information!_

 _We hope to see you as soon as possible._

She replied to the email, stated her address and that, really, any time would work for her, heck, even right now, and waited for a response-

 _Ding!_

-a response that came quicker than the blink of an eye.

 _How do they write that fast? I only replied a second ago..._

She read it nonetheless.

 _Thank you, Rain! Our services will be here shortly._

Shortly?

 _Wait, crap, hold up-_

She heard the beeping of a bus from outside. Rain snapped shut her laptop, plugged it in, and set it next to the bed, and got on some shoes and her black-blue striped jacket. She still had her day clothes on, as she never really changed into pajamas until she was ready for bed, being the lazy person she was, and was out the door in less than a minute.

* * *

The axolotl-like creature moved about lazily, waking slowly from its long slumber. Its glowing white eyes peeled open, not surprised to find a small, yellow, triangular demon sitting in front of it.

No, Axolotl was more surprised to see that the demon in question looked like he had been run over by a train. The brick-like figments that made up his glowing body looked cracked, some even nudged out of place, and Axolotl noticed as its eyes trailed upwards, that the demon's only eye looked simultaneously livid, terrified, and utterly _exhausted._

"Oh, my," Axolotl mused, chuckling just a bit. "What predicament did you get yourself into this time?"

"Can it, wise guy," Bill Cipher snapped, against his better judgement, "you've known me long enough to know that this is serious." Axolotl grunted angrily at the triangle's harsh tone, but looking at the withered state of the demon, it decided to push it aside for now.

"Well, you do seem to be a bit more out of sorts than usual," said Axolotl. "And by your tone earlier, I see it is no laughing matter."

"Well, is there anything you can do about it?" said Bill, not trying whatsoever to hide the annoyance in his voice. Axolotl shifted its gaze to the sky, or what would've been, considering the two were currently in what humans would call "the void," and hummed thoughtfully.

"There is a way," it said, "but I doubt you'd like it."

"I'd like _anything_ but death at this point."

The creature nodded its head, and looked back down at the demon.

"You'll have to inhabit one of those-what did you call them?-meat popsicles."

Immediately, Bill's only eye went wide with fear.

"There has to be another option," he breathed.

"You said you'd like anything but death at this point, and this is _far_ from death."

"But...but what about their life spans?! I'm at least a million, I've lost count of the number, what if I get in one of those fleshy little meat sacks and all of a sudden, _boom_ , dead, my age is too much for it?!"

"We can work our way around that. Dumb it down to a physical age of a teenager or young adult and call it good."

" _Call it good?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!_ "

At this comment, Axolotl's eyes turned a threatening shade of read, an it brought itself up to its full height in order to stare the demon down. Bill shrunk in the creature's gaze, knowing right away that he probably should've just swallowed the words and have them scratch his insides rather than let them out.

" _This is our last option, Cipher._ " Axolotl's voice echoed across at least ten planes of existence. " _If our only other option is death, then I will give it to you myself. Your defiance is highly unnecessary, and I advise you to keep your mouth shut unless you want to be obliterated. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior._ "

Bill shuddered, trying his best to calm himself. The axolotl lowered itself to what would've been the ground, and its eyes turned back to their usual white.

"Are you going to cooperate now?" it asked. Bill nodded cautiously. "Good. Do you want to go through with your final option, or would you rather choose death?"

"Final option."

"Good. This might hurt."

He felt... _something_ happen. A little shift in his form, completely involuntary. It was small, practically nonexistent, and if he hadn't known what was about to happen, he would've ignored it, maybe not have even _felt_ it. But he knew what it was. His form flickered, and he yelped as he felt himself break apart.

Bill realized, in a matter of moments, that Axolotl wasn't joking. His entire existence _burned_. His mind was _searing_ with pain. He found himself gasping for air, and his lungs, or the closest thing to them, felt lie they were going to explode. He was blinded by the pain, the only thing he could see was a blinding shade of vibrant, pale blue, and he suddenly realized why he felt like he was burning.

He _was_ burning.

His figure was coming apart, his limbs seemingly separated from his body as his entire form started to crumble. He was separated in two planes of reality, his mind was coming apart. He could feel his powers starting to decline, and he was almost completely sure he was going to dissipate. He couldn't think, he could barely move, and he couldn't stop screaming.

He wouldn't put it past Axolotl to be enjoying this.

" _NONONONO, MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE-_ "

And then it did stop, leaving him limp and exhausted, heaving and gasping.

Something wasn't right. He knew it. It felt like a part of him had been removed, and the rest of his consciousness had melted down in order to fit together again. Almost in an instant, a flood of new-found senses clotted his brain. The fresh smell of grass, the rush of a spring breeze, and the prickly feeling of the cold air on his skin.

"What..." _Huff._ "...did you..." _Puff..._ "...do?!"

He suddenly realized, at the lack of the creature's voice, that he was no longer in "the void."

He was back in Gravity Falls.

His eyes went wide with fear.

"No, no no nonono, anywhere but here-!"

He felt his knees give way under him, and he fell into the soft grass. He could taste something coppery in his...

 _Mouth?_

 _No...that shouldn't-_

In the surprise, and also the pain, he blacked out.

* * *

You know the rest.

The Hatbox Ghost didn't know what he was signing up for, but he did it anyways.

Wheatley had returned to Aperture, only to find coming back was much worse than staying in space.

Dr. Flug Slys was overworked and needed a break.

Newton Pud wanted something new.

Without Chad in town, everything became boring again. Dennis wanted some excitement.

And so it began. The program was working smoothly, thousands signed up.

There's just one more person who needed to get in on it.


	2. Chapter 2: Expected, But Not Warranted

Bill woke up in a hospital bed, panting heavily, eye (or, really, eyes now) darting around the room, trying to gain every bit of information possible. He immediately found his eyes upon a mirror, and he screamed a bit at his reflection. He jumped back suddenly, and fell off the bed, right onto the cold, hard, tile floor.

He groaned a bit, trying to get up, his legs slipping out from underneath him, his arms clumsy as he tried to reach for the bed. He ended up falling back onto the floor several times in a panic before managing to hoist himself up onto the bed, where he deemed it safe.

 _Stupid,_ he thought, _what was that?! You idiot! You just fell off this stupid bed and onto the floor like a CHILD, and then scrambled around on the floor like a cat trying to walk around on ice!_

"Alright, alright," he muttered, "let's try this again like someone who _knows what they're doing._ " He looked back at himself in the mirror, hoping that he looked more like one of the adult meat sacks than he did Dipper Pines.

Looking at his reflection, he was, to say the least, not very pleased to see a scrawny looking teenager, with messy, blonde hair spilling directly into hazel eyes and freckled skin. He immediately cursed to himself, and then mentally shook a fist at Axolotl.

 _All his fault, making me look like some dumb kid._

 _Then again, it was probably the only meat sack he had on hand._

He hastily tried to pull the blankets into their original positions as he heard the door click open.

The keyword here is _tried._

"Ah, I see you're up, Mr. Cipher," said a man's voice. Bill gave up on the blankets and focused as hard and angrily as he could on the person who had just walked into the room.

"You," he snarled. Tad Strange smiled politely.

"You!" he echoed, in a more polite and happy tone. "You know, you could at least be a bit grateful I managed to spot you. If not, you probably would've died."

"And why's that, genius?" Bill growled.

"Axolotl doesn't really know how to put humans together."

"So, you're saying it _meant for me to look like this?!_ "

Tad flinched just a bit.

"Oh, gee, kinda forgot about that..."

"...Were you _going_ to tell me that?" Bill hissed. Tad shifted nervously, looking down at his feet.

"Well, yes, but-"

" _WHAT ELSE WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?!_ "

"Mr. Cipher, please calm down, you're gonna-"

It was too late. Bill felt a jolt of pain run up his spine, something akin to being electrocuted, and he doubled over, pulling his arms around himself in something that resembled a self-hug. His eyes went wide, tears streaming down his face. He forced himself to breathe evenly and slowly, biting on his lip to keep himself from screaming.

"That's what I was trying to tell you," said Tad, worry etched in his voice. "Your powers...they're still there, but very limited and weak. If you overwork yourself, you'll break up your form and... well, _die._ "

Bill could taste something coppery in his mouth. _Blood_ , he realized, wiping it away on his hand. His whole body still ached, and he wondered if he were dying right then. He could die a hundred times as a demon, but once he died as a human, he would never come back.

"I'm truly sorry, Mr. Cipher," said Tad, "but I can't do anything to help. It's just-"

"You're mortal, you're mortal, I know," Bill groaned. "So, why'd Axolotl make me like this? All scrawny and weak?"

"Well, you know Axolotl," said Tad, chuckling a bit. "He has strange reasons for things..."

Bill didn't find any part of the situation remotely funny, and Tad realized this in a matter of moments.

"I can...um...I _did_ just learn how to temporarily lessen pain," Tad said hesitantly. Bill shrugged, and Tad took it as an invitation to try. "Just...turn your back towards me." Bill nodded and followed through. Tad placed his hands in front of himself, just barely hovering over Bill's back. Energy coursed through his veins and down to his palms, and he willed it to spread in all directions. A soft shade of blue shone under his palms, and then faded slowly. He pulled his hands away.

"How does it feel now?"

"Better."

The pain had ceased, his shoulders and head still stung just a bit, but other than that, Tad's magic seemed to have done the trick. And honestly, he was a bit surprised it _had_ worked.

"Okay, look," said Tad suddenly, "I actually have business with you, it's about your whole...being a human thing." Bill lifted his head a bit. "To actually complete the process, we need someone who actually knows how to prevent your consciousness from splitting in two."

"You-huh?"

"That's why I'm here," said Tad defensively, though Bill had barely said anything. "I would've probably just left you here, but then I realized that you would probably destroy yourself if I had done that. So, we need to find someone who knows how to help you."

"Aren't _you_ the one supposed to help me?"

"I've done the best I can."

Bill opened his mouth to respond but found he didn't have the energy to argue. In fact, he felt rather light-headed.

"Oh, I almost forgot, you might be fading in and out of consciousness for a while," said Tad. "Now, what we need to do is-"

The rest of the sentence was lost in Bill's frantic attempts to keep his eyes open. He found himself slipping from reality, his conscious trying to claw itself out of the deep, dark pit he found himself in.

He tried to scream, he really did. He tried to call out for Axolotl, to swear at the creature for making him like this. He felt cold and small and weak, and for the first time in who knew how long, he felt _terrified._

Now, it would be a lie to say that Bill Cipher never felt scared. Of _course_ he had felt scared before, only hours ago, or maybe minutes, he couldn't tell, he had felt scared because he was _burning_ , being forced into this petty excuse for a vessel. He had felt scared because he had been forgotten inside the mind of Stanley Pines, he had been scared so many times.

But the last time he had been terrified...

Well, he never liked to remember it, but-

 _Saw his own dimension burn_

 _Misses home but can't return_

Something shook him awake, bringing him back to consciousness.

"Bill! Wake up! Wake up!"

It was Tad's voice, both panicky and excited. Bill's eyelids peeled open slowly, eyes still adjusting to the sudden light.

 _Since when did Tad have a car?_

"Look, Bill! To our right!" Tad exclaimed, voice shaking. Bill looked in the indicated direction, and was shocked to see a dark, swirling storm cloud, circling just above them. Lightning the color of blood struck the sides of the city road they were currently driving down, and Tad could barely hide his enthusiasm as Bill stuck his head out the car window.

He could feel an odd sort of energy in the air, making his skin tingle.

"Do you feel that?" Tad asked. "I've always wanted to come here, I've just never gotten the chance. That manor is surrounded by dark magic!" Another bolt of lightning struck the road ahead of them, and the car swerved a little, causing Bill to pull his head back in.

Bill was about to ask Tad what manor he was talking about when he saw it. A small, black silhouette, barely visible against the shadow of the dark storm, in the shape of a top hat.

"Are you _sure_ this is the right place?" he asked nervously.

"I mean, unless there's another scientist smart enough to mend a soul, then yes," Tad answered simply. Bill gulped.

He had hoped he'd never have to go into that place.


	3. Chapter 3: Not Expected at All, Honest

" _THE DOCTOR WHAT?!_ "

"Like I said," Demencia repeated, bored with the current company, "Flug isn't here. Hasn't been for...I dunno, a week, maybe? Gave me a chance to ransack his dork lab."

" _Wh- Demencia, you can't just DO THAT!_ " Tad shouted, his voice shaking with panic. "Flug _actually does stuff in there! IMPORTANT THINGS!_ "

"Geez, Tad Pole, if you're gonna come all the way out here just to talk to me, at least be nice about it."

"Th-That's not why we're here."

"I know." Demencia shrugged, blowing a pink bubble of gum, letting it grow as big as it could before it popped. Not even bothering to put it back in her mouth, she continued, "I just enjoy your visits."

A thought seemed to strike Tad suddenly, and he groaned. "That must be why the big guy's in such a rage."

"Yep!" Demencia chuckled. "I'll admit, he's pretty handsome, even when he's angry." She spit out a wad of gum before reaching into her pocket and tossing another into her mouth, not even taking the time to unwrap it. "I mean, if you wanna go check around Flug's lab, that's fine. It's not like I stole _everything_ in there."

"I'd rather not," Tad mumbled, before opening the large set of doors and striding back down the black steps of the manor.

Bill was still waiting in the car, and his eyes softened a bit as he saw Tad walking towards him.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Not as well as I'd hoped," Tad sighed, defeated as he slid back into the driver's seat. However, he noticed quickly that Bill wore a hard expression on his face, and his eyes were a little swollen. His hands were wrapped around his body, and, Tad took notice as he looked towards the demon's face, Bill was biting his lip.

"Are you okay?" Tad asked, worry filling his gut. Bill was still for a few seconds, but he shook his head. "Don't worry," Tad continued. "We'll...we'll find help soon."

He could hardly hide his doubt, and by the looks of it, Bill was starting to doubt it as well.

* * *

Tad would've swerved right off the highway if not for stomping on the brakes as soon as he started losing control of the vehicle. The reason the car started swerving, however, was because Tad had left his phone's volume at max, and someone had called him. He picked up the phone using the car's Bluetooth system, and groaned when he saw who it was.

"Hey, Demencia," he sighed.

"Jeez, Taddy, ya don't have to sound so dejected about it," she replied sarcastically.

" _Please_ tell me you're gonna give me some _good_ news."

Bill's expression softened.

"Eh, depends on your point of view," Demencia answered. "There's a way to mend a soul or whatever you wanted, but you won't like it."

"Just tell us what it is, Demencia," said Bill.

" _OHHH!_ Is that Billy with you?! Can I talk to him?"

"Demencia," said Tad sternly.

"Sorry, sorry," Demencia apologized. "Anyways, ever heard of the Protect Your Fellow Fictionals program?"

Tad was silent as a shadow passed over his face.

"You've got to be kidding me," he hissed. "That stupid _hero_ program? The one feeding those people _lies?!_ "

"Taddy-"

Tad hung up, and Bill's eyes went wide.

" _Tad!_ " he shouted angrily. " _Pull over, NOW!_ " He could feel another jolt of pain starting to run up his spine, but at this point, he couldn't have cared less. As if suddenly realizing that Bill was there, Tad's eyes went wide with shame and fear, and he pulled to the side of the highway.

As the car stopped, Bill opened the door to the car.

"Bill, I didn't mean to-"

Tad watched in horror and in shock as the demon ran straight into traffic.

" _BILL, NO!_ "

He didn't know which part was more painful to watch. It was either the part where Bill's frail, teenage-like body made impact with the oncoming SUV, or when Bill skidded to a halt on the road. It didn't matter to him, he could barely watch as the car collided with the once-demon, as Bill Cipher dropped to the group, eyes shut tight.

For a second, Tad couldn't move. He had no idea what to do. But he ran over to Bill as soon as the demon started to move.

"Bill!" Tad shouted. "Are you okay?"

As his eyes swept over Bill's body, he realized that the car had inflicted no damage upon him, not one scratch.

 _Of course_ , he thought, _his soul is broken. He can't be hurt, not like this._

"Why would you do that?" Tad asked, anger and fear lacing his voice as Bill got up from the cement.

"Tad," Bill started, rage strong in his tone, "sooner or later, my soul is going to implode, taking me with it. I don't care what kind of crappy program I have to get into in order to prevent that from happening, I am not going to die. Not here." He started walking towards Tad's car. "Now get back in your seat and call Demencia back."

Tad stared after Bill a couple seconds after he had already walked off, a pained expression on his face. He sighed, knowing at the bottom of his heart that he had done something wrong. He reminded himself, again, that if he didn't do this, Bill was going to die. Bill was going to _die_ , and it would be no one else's fault but his. Begrudgingly, he walked back over to his car and sat in the driver's seat.


	4. Chapter 4: Light Bulbs are Pretty Great

Being human was _weird._

Wheatley had had this thought several times in the past five minutes, and now he just couldn't stop thinking about it, not even as he was fitted into a new, artificial human body that felt almost like the real thing, not that Wheatley knew how that felt. It felt much better than the old one, the one that felt like operating a fax machine from the inside.

As the machine patching up the synthetic skin worked away, Wheatley took a step back and reflected on the week's events. Being back in the facility had not been the most pleasant experience, especially when he was within Her reach. To be completely honest, he would've much rather been in space with the dreaded Space Core.

Not even within a minute of being within the facility's walls, She had come up with the brilliant idea to run some tests on him. She didn't have any humans on hand, because, to put it quite simply, they were all dead, and the only human known to the both of them was well outside a fifty-mile radius, and, if the dim recollection of the outside world Wheatley had was accurate, she was probably dead as well.

So, after minutes of consideration from Her and desperate complaining from him, Wheatley was forced to shamble about in a clunky, antique, and certainly bug-infested artificial human body, made only of old, rusting metal and computing systems from who really knew when. It made learning how to walk on two legs terribly fun, even better still was learning how to bend a few rusty finger joints in order to pull the trigger of a portal gun, or really, even remembering how to choose which finger to bend.

Getting his hand to fit in the portal gun was just _spectacular._

The old circuitry gave Wheatley a hard time even _thinking_ without giving himself a migraine, and it certainly didn't help with solving a few tests, either. So, in the end, he ended up hiding in a small, undisturbed and untouchable nook in the wall, in which he sobbed for an hour.

Or, really, sobbed artificially. He was sure that if he came within three inches of a body of water, he would freeze up and never move again.

By the time Wheatley had found his hiding place, She was well beyond ready to give up and just send him to the surface, where she would never see him again. But now that Wheatley was in his little sobbing corner, She had no way to get him back out. No amount of teasing or encouragement would convince him to come out into Her sights.

She was incredibly relieved when the moron found a way out on his own.

Wheatley almost didn't notice it right away, but he felt as though the whirring of the machine seemed a bit too loud as it came to a stop. The PYFF building had gone quiet as he was thinking, save for a few footsteps, and the beige walls no longer held the echo of chatter and conversation. No, instead, all that came through the white archways was a feeling of doom and danger.

He looked out into the main hallway, where several people had stopped walking and were now staring intently at something at the other end of the room. Whispers broke out like fires and sparks, some in excitement or interest, others in fear. No matter what the reason, he heard only one name.

"Is that _him_?"

"Bill Cipher?"

"Is that the demon?

"What did they call him? Bill?"

Wheatley, having been underground for a majority of his life, knew nothing of the demon, but from the sound of things, he had a very strong feeling that Bill Cipher was a rather dangerous person. However, when the demon came into view, his strong feeling was quickly buried in the sand. Bill Cipher looked relatively small in stature, and it was hard for Wheatley to believe that this "demon" could ever be dangerous.

Well, he knew a thing or two about being small and dangerous, that was for sure, it was impossible that he would ever forget being trapped in Her mainframe while his brain corroded like a dead battery, so he doubted that it mattered what Bill Cipher looked like.

He stepped into the hallway and looked to the person closest to him for answers. That particular person happened to be a young man clad in purple with a light bulb for a head, who jumped a little when Wheatley came near.

"Excuse me," Wheatley whispered, "but who is that guy?"

"You don't know about him?" Newton Pud asked nervously. "He's the most feared man in the entire multiverse." He paused. "Well, not as feared as Black Hat, obviously, probably not even close, but he was a bringer of mischief, chaos, absurdities, you get the idea." He shuffled his feet a little, looking down at his shoes.

"If he's so scary, why does he look like a little kid?"

"I don't know," Newton replied. "I'm just some nobody from Bunkum, only important people know about that kind of stuff. If he's signing up for the program, I hope I'm not in the same group as him."

"He's signing up?" Wheatley's eyes went wide with interest.

"W-Well, I don't k-know," Newton sputtered. "I mean, I'm assuming."

"Ah." Wheatley turned his attention towards Bill Cipher again, noticing the lanky, black haired man next to him. "Who's that guy next to him?"

"Err..." Newton's eyes narrowed in confusion. "No idea." He turned toward Wheatley. "I'm Newton, by the way. Newton Pud."

"Wheatley." He stuck out his hand to shake, and Newton took it hesitantly. "So what brings you here?"

"I wanted something new, I guess," Newton replied. "How about you?"

"Well, err, it's kind of a long story," Wheatley answered nervously, "but I guess I was looking for a miracle."

Newton laughed a little, a genuine laugh that made Wheatley chuckle a bit as well. He supposed this was what having a friendly conversation with someone felt like. One where he talked, and someone listened, and then they talked, and he listened.

Honestly, this whole human thing was starting to grow on him.

* * *

" _No!_ " Nana Pud cried. "I will not allow it! I _cannot_ allow it! How could you do this without _telling me?!_ "

"Mum-"

"Don't you 'mum' me," she retorted, pacing back and forth across the kitchen. "First you disappear for Higginbotham knows _how long_ , you mess with power you don't understand, you get _possessed_ by the Titans, have a _child_ endangered because he went to _save_ you-"

"But you _told_ him to-"

" _And_ , on top of it all, you think you can go out and find an _excuse_ to _leave again_ , after all you've done! Oh, wait until your father hears about this, he'll be in such a rage, Newty!"

"Mumsie, I'm not ten anymore, I can't be in this house forever-"

"Well, I am _not_ going to allow it!" Nana Pud interjected. "Haven't you heard the rumors? Remember the demon that's walking around the place?"

"Yes, I saw him-"

" _SAW HIM?!_ Absolutely _not!_ I am _not allowing it!_ "

"W-Well," Newton started to raise his voice, "I don't _need_ you to! I've been an adult for years, I should be allowed to go out and do what I please, without you _mothering_ me, not letting me _do anything!_ "

"But you're too _irresponsible!_ " Nana Pud argued. "You are my only son, and for all I know, you could go out there and get yourself _killed_ like you almost did last time! I cannot allow you to get yourself in danger! Not with your father gone all the time! You are all I have left!"

There was a moment of silence in which Newton questioned his mother's motives, only broken by Nana Pud holding back a sob. Her son looked up in surprise when he heard the sound.

"Oh, no, mumsie, that's why...I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, no, you have nothing to be sorry for," Nana Pud said solemnly. "I shouldn't be worrying so much, I just-"

"No, I never even considered that that was how you felt!" Newton blubbered, tears coming to his eyes. "I just thought..."

They stood there for a while in silence before Nana Pud pulled her son into a hug. Tears poured down Newton Pud's face all the while as he tried to regain his bearings.

"I'll allow it," Nana Pud whispered, a small smile coming to her face for the first time in a while.


	5. Chapter 5: Bill Ci the Demon Guy

The room had gotten a bit louder since Bill's arrival, but the air still felt cold and tense as he waited for the building's doctor.

The walls were beige, the archways leading to each room were white, making the hallway look something akin to Grand Central Station mixed with a mall. Black archways lined the end of the hall, leading to universes that couldn't completely merge with the main one, and near the center of the building was a line of cushioned benches.

Bill was starting to think that the program had something for everyone. They had android labs for robotic participants, counselors for people with depression or anxiety, they had club rooms for writing, baking, and even pride, and doctors for both mundane and magical ailments.

Honestly, it was pretty great, and Bill couldn't quite understand why Tad had an angry look on his face the entire time they were there. Sure, sometimes people stopped to stare at Bill, but he didn't mind very much. He was a sight to behold, and being feared was, in his opinion, a great feeling. It made him feel much more powerful than he was now.

Sometimes, however, people would laugh. Bill thought it rude, but it meant they underestimated him. He was sure that once his powers returned to him, he would be able to crush anyone that opposed him.

"Gee, Tad, you don't have to look so down," Bill chuckled, seeing Tad cross his arms. "My soul is getting mended, I'm going to get my powers back soon, and then I'll be unstoppable."

"You don't understand, Bill," Tad muttered. This place...it brings back bad memories..."

"'Bad memories,' huh?" Bill laughed a bit. "Who even cares? The past isn't as important as the future, Tad. Where there's consequences, there are opportunities."

"Opportunities like _what?_ Getting tortured if you betray them? Getting blamed for evil-doings you didn't commit?"

"What are you blabbing on about? That isn't the point."

"Well, it's _my_ point!" Tad shouted. "These people betray just as easily as you could! They lie, and they cheat, and they earn people's trust just to throw them to the ground!"

"Tad, where is this coming from? Are you okay?"

" _NO!_ " Tad was trying to keep his voice level. "They've done this sort of thing before. They've had people sign up. _I've_ signed up! They've done terrible things to people like us! Traitors who were afraid of being on the wrong side!"

"Tad-"

"We...we can't trust them, Bill!" Tad retorted, voice shaking. " _I_ can't trust them!"

"Well, trust me, okay?" Bill argued. Tad hesitated, obviously puzzled that Bill would say anything of the sort.

"Just...okay," Tad sighed. "Forget I said anything."

There was a moment of silence between them that Bill savored for as long as he could. Tad slid into a seat, looking shaken.

"Bill Cipher?"

A doctor had walked into the room. Bill and Tad stood up, and the doctor smiled.

"I'm Dr. Trident," he said. "You're here for soul treatment, yes?"

Bill nodded.

"Great! Right this way, please."

* * *

A _soul._

Bill had never seen one before, so he didn't really know what they were supposed to look like.

He had a gut feeling a soul wasn't really supposed to look like this.

The shape of a heart, streaks of lightning splitting it almost directly in half, looking moments away from breaking in two. Spider web cracks filled the rest of it, the light of the soul weak, but pulsing steadily, like a heartbeat.

It hurt just to _look at._

"Don't worry, Mr. Cipher," said Dr. Trident. He smiled. "It may look like a lot of damage, but souls are as easy to heal as a paper cut. I'll be right back." He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him, leaving the two in silence.

Bill stared at the soul, not knowing how to feel. The thing was a sickly shade of yellow, though he supposed that was his defining color.

 _Yellow._

He had never really been that fond of the color, to be honest. He'd always leaned towards the color red. Blue was a good choice, too. But being a demon meant that you were whatever color you came into existence as. You couldn't really choose.

Humans couldn't really choose, either, but they had a rather nice gradient of colors, if he was honest with himself. Shade of peach mixed with lilac, almond and chocolate, caramel and oak, apricot and coral, though the humans preferred to just call them "white," "tan," and "black."

He never really understood that. There might have been a few "tan" humans, that was certain, but he'd never seen a human with snow white skin, nor a human with pure black skin. Though, he had seen a human with orange skin, but he wasn't sure if that was common.

Being a demon, you could be any color in the universe, you could be pink, purple, gray, green, yellow, red, any color you could think of.

And he just happened to be gifted with a shade of yellow he could only call lemon.

He had tried a lemon once.

"It really isn't a pretty color," he said. Tad looked up in surprise and confusion, but a look of realization spread across his face when Bill pointed to his soul.

"You really don't think so?" Tad asked. "I think it's rather sunny."

"Yeah, I've never really liked the sun," Bill countered. "Too bright. You can't look at it without a headache. I much prefer the moon."

"Bill, you can't look at the sun without going _blind._ "

"Eh, I guess."

The door clicked open suddenly, and Dr. Trident walked back into the room.

"Sorry for the wait," he said. "Let me fix that up. All it really takes is stitches."

"Stitches?" Bill asked. "It's that easy?"

"Well, their magical stitches, I guess," Dr. Trident continued. "If you're a magical doctor, you're taught how to do it." He put his fingers together and then pulled them apart. A small string connected his fingertips, and he approached Bill's soul. "This might tingle."

* * *

"So, how does it feel?" Tad asked. Bill smiled a bit.

"It actually feels a lot better," he replied. "I dunno, I feel like I'm less...tense. There's a negative emotion that went away."

Tad smiled, but his smile faded as quick as it came. "I'm...gonna go talk to customer service, ask some questions."

"Right."

Bill sat on one of the benches just outside the doctor's office. People looked and stared at him as they walked by, and by this point, he was getting a little annoyed. Not really because they were pointing him out so much, no, but there was something about the way they looked at him that made him the slightest bit irritated.

A young girl dressed in white stopped as she walked by, her black hair tucked into her cap, and her white dress fluttering around her. Bill took a while to notice her, but when he did, he clenched his teeth.

"What are you looking at?" he demanded, annoyance strong in his tone. The princess frowned at him, but she didn't care what he had to say.

"You're not human," she stated simply, before turning her head and walking away. Bill only sat there, looking dumbfounded. For some strange reason, he was enraged by what she had said. He wanted to scream at her for being so insolent. He knew, still, that he could not do anything to harm her. He was human.

Or...was he?

Before he could think on it, though, Tad walked over to him. "Time to go," he said, as if consoling a child. Bill didn't like that he said it like that, and yet he couldn't figure out why.

"Fine," he said, trying to keep his voice even.

* * *

"So, there's seven to a household," Tad explained, "and you each get a set of keys, a debit card, and some other stuff."

They were walking towards the household Tad was talking about, Bill carrying only an empty wallet that Tad had bought him on the way there. He carried nothing else, because he had nothing else. No other clothes, no other belongings, but he supposed this was a start.

"That stuff will be in your bedroom," Tad finished. "I guess that's everything."

They were at the doors to the house now, and they stood there in silence for a few moments.

"I should...probably leave," Tad muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He started to walk away.

"Wait, Tad!"

He turned back around towards Bill.

"Hey, um," Bill started, "I know it's pretty unusual to hear me say this, but...thanks. For everything. Really."

Tad's eyebrows raised just a little, but a warm smile filled his face in a matter of moments, and Bill couldn't help but smile back.

As Tad Strange walked back towards the car, Bill reached for his keys and unlocked the front door. It opened with a satisfying click, and he turned the brass knob and walked inside.

The room before him was filled with chatter from five others, but the conversation quickly died down as Bill walked in, closing the door behind him. Horrified and awe filled faces were abundant in his gaze, and there was an odd feeling in his gut as his eyes swept the room that he couldn't quite place.

Embarrassment, maybe? Fear? Guilt? Whatever it was, Bill didn't like it, and he shook the feeling off almost immediately.

The first man he laid his eyes on had ruffled, sandy blonde hair that stuck up both on top and on either side of his head. He wore a pair of rectangular glasses that made him look more puzzled than intelligent, and there was something about his deep, blue eyes that made him look...artificial? Fake? Automated? Either way, those eyes seemed a little too deep for a human, and it made Bill chuckle a bit.

The second man stuck out like a sore thumb, and he probably would've looked perfectly normal if his head were anything other than a light bulb. He was clad mostly in pink and purple, and his yellow eyes gave off a vibrant and friendly glow. Bill could tell, however, that he was somewhat of a coward, as he shivered when their gazes met.

The third man was the only one in the room who looked completely normal. He had short, brown hair that swept to one side of his face, and wore big, round glasses that gave Bill the impression that he was somewhat of an intellect, if not a total nerd. He decided that he was more nerdy than intelligent, however, when his gaze swept down to his attire, a purple and black sweater vest over a pale, yellow shirt, and ridiculously baggy pants.

The fourth man looked more intellectual in appearance, as he wore a white lab coat, but Bill was surprised to see that his face was covered with a paper bag and goggles. He wore blue denim jeans and red sneakers, as well as a blue shirt with a picture of a broken plane on the front. He looked...relatively excited by Bill's presence.

However, as Bill's eyes moved over to the last man, his stomach did a sort of sickly flip-flop, and he felt a shiver run down his spine.

The last man was a ghost.


	6. Chapter 6: A Relatively Nice Guy (Not)

"Oh my god," Flug breathed, a smile growing rapidly on his face. "You're Bill Cipher. You're _Bill Cipher._ "

Yes, indeed, Bill Cipher, legendary demon, apocalypse bringer, psychopathic mastermind, king of darkness, whatever you want to call him, had just walked into the room. His eyes had quickly studied each of them, and Flug had barely been able to contain his excitement. He _still_ couldn't contain his excitement as he bounded over to the demon, hands shaking with joy.

" _You're Bill Cipher!_ " Flug cried. " _This cannot be real! I'm not meeting you! This is a dream, it has to be!_ "

He shook Bill's hand.

" _Oh my god, it's not a dream,_ " he whispered.

"So, why are you so scary, exactly?"

Everyone in the room turned to look at Wheatley, who seemed confused that Flug would even try to shake Bill's hand. Flug was more confused that Wheatley would ask the question.

"Why is he so scary?" Flug asked. " _Why is he so scary? Oho!_ He's a legend! He's tricked the wittiest of men! He's possessed the cleverest minds! _He's raised the apocalypse!_ "

He paused.

"Well, in a small part of Oregon," he continued, "but raised the apocalypse nonetheless."

"Oh, please," said the Hatbox Ghost (looking at him made Flug a little sick), "he wasn't able to get the apocalypse very far. A _small_ part of Oregon is quite the overstatement. A true mastermind wouldn't have been fooled by such a _cheap trick._ "

Even behind the bag, Flug's disapproval was clear as day.

"How...how dare you!" he argued. "You...you're angering a demon?! Can't you see how-"

Flug studied Bill's face and found, rather than rage or anger, confusion, embarrassment, and boredom.

"He's...he's not angry," Flug muttered. "You're not angry."

"Yeah...the only one who _seems_ angry in here is you," said Bill, annoyance etched in his voice. "There's nothing to defend, Flug Slys. I was fooled by a couple of old men by one of the cheapest tricks in the book."

"You...you know my name-"

"Doctor," Bill chuckled, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I know everyone's name. I've seen you all before."

Newton, Dennis, and Wheatley visibly tensed, while Hatbox only shrugged.

"Newton Pud," Bill started, "born and raised on Bunkum. Tried to control the Titans. Failed miserably. Had a child save you." He laughed a bit. "Pathetic."

" _Wh-what- I... I di- I wou- I-_ "

"Dennis," Bill interrupted, "lives in a you've-never-heard-of-it-town back in the 1950s. Had a crush on childhood friend Natalie Haller before falling helplessly in love with Miss Sandra. Doesn't even know his last name."

Dennis looked rather frightened, and he opened his mouth to argue, but-

"Intelligence Dampening Sphere," Bill interrupted again, "otherwise known as Wheatley. Built to stabilize the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, GLaDOS, became sentient enough to gain his own personality, betrayed subject number 1498, or Chell, allegedly not of your own accord, but still." He gave Wheatley three slow, mocking claps. "Congrats on that."

Wheatley looked both like he was about to start yelling angrily and like he was about to start crying.

"The Hatbox Ghost." Bill smiled menacingly. "Lives in the Haunted Mansion, homeland is New Orleans, Louisiana, collects hats and shares a living space with the Black Widow Bride, formerly known as Constance Hatchaway, though he would like to share the mansion's attic with the Heart-beating Bride."

The Hatbox Ghost frowned slightly, though Bill would've liked to mess with his emotions a little more. He supposed this was enough, however, he was already getting to some of his housemates.

"And Flug Slys."

Flug winced, knowing it was his turn.

"Works for the most feared man in the multiverse." Bill gritted his teeth. "How delightful."

The doorbell rang before he was able to finish.

"Ah, never mind, I have keys," came a voice from the other side of the door. There was a jingle of metal before the lock clicked open.

 _Oh, good,_ Bill thought. _A girl._

He was relatively surprised that he had no recollection of who this was. Her hair, he could tell, was naturally brown, but part of the top was bleached a bright blonde. She wore a denim jacket with rainbow markings on the back, black jeans, and a plain, white shirt. Her eyes were deep brown, analyzing the room quickly, taking in all the information they could. Still, they retained a playful glow, and she constantly looked like the corners of her lips were about to pull upwards and into a laugh.

This was someone to look out for.

She might've been fourteen, she might've been twenty-one, he couldn't tell, but she looked mature, yet she also looked...childish. But one thing was certain; she was watchful, she was logical, she was skillful.

She was like _him._

He feverishly shook off the thought, laughing to himself. A human girl? Equal to _him?_ What could've given him that idea?

Her eyes landed on him longer than the others. Their eyes locked, a drop of sweat trickling down Bill's forehead, and after a few moments, a sly smirk appeared on her lips. It was a dangerous kind of smirk.

He could _kill_ her. He _really_ wanted to.

A disapproving frown found its way onto his face, and the girl chuckled a bit when she saw it.

"So, freckles, are you gonna keep lookin' at me like I'm a wasp or am I gonna get your name?" she asked.

She had given him a nickname.

She was _disgusting._

"Bill," he muttered.

"Say it again?"

" _Bill_ ," he repeated, louder this time. The girl smiled at the annoyance in his tone.

So, _this_ was the one they were all so afraid of, and he was acting like a five year old about to throw a temper tantrum. In all honesty, it was hilarious, maybe even cute.

She should've been afraid of him, she reasoned. If this guy was able to raise the weird-pocalypse or whatever people were calling it, he must've been pretty powerful, but it was kind of hard to be afraid of someone who was barely taller than herself, half as mature, and punier than a sack of potatoes.

A potato would've been able to put up a better fight.

"I'm Rain," she said, sticking her hand out for Bill to shake. He eyed it like it was infested with roaches, inching away cautiously. She snorted a bit and put her hand down. "Well, I can see hospitality isn't really your thing." She turned her hair to the messy-haired android. "How about you, blue?"

"I'm Wheatley," he replied happily, sticking his hand out. "Though, I wouldn't blame you for getting my name wrong a few times. Blue's fine, too, I suppose." Rain took his hand with a little bit of a laugh, which he returned with a smile. He turned his head towards the light bulb. "And this is Newton!"

Newton looked startled but tried his best to give Rain a friendly smile, which looked more awkward than he would've liked. "H-Hi," he muttered. Rain gave him a warm smile.

"And who's goggles over here?" she said, turning her attention to the one in the paper bag.

"Flug Slys," he said, sticking a hand out to shake. "It's a pleasure."

She could tell it wasn't very much of a pleasure, but she supposed it was a start.

"And how about you, nerdy?" she asked, looking at Dennis.

"Dennis," he said. "Though...we met earlier, didn't we? At the program building?"

"Oh, yes," Rain exclaimed. "I remember now!" She turned to the final man. "And... oh, the Hatbox Ghost, of course!"

"Oh, um, yes," said Hatbox, a glint of surprise in his eyes. "You've heard of me?"

"Well, anyone who's heard of the Haunted Mansion has heard of you," Rain chuckled. "Everyone knows its otherworldly properties."

"I don't," said Wheatley.

"Yes, well, almost everyone," Rain muttered. "Well, it's getting late, sun's already started to set a while ago, so I'm gonna make myself some cereal and then I'm gonna go to bed."

With that, she walked into the kitchen and started digging through the cupboard to find some good food.

Bill located a set of stairs nearby and marched upstairs with only a grunt of annoyance. He _really_ didn't like the idea of staying in a house with three wimpy heroes, a pathetic villain, a ghost, and _her_. God, he would give anything to be back in the nightmare realm, in charge of everything again, or even to be back in Gravity Falls.

Well, better this than _dead_ , he supposed.

At the end of the hall the staircase led to, there was a door with his name on it. He turned the knob and pushed the door open with a huff, wanting more than anything to be by himself for a little while.

The room was a nice shade of blue, with black accents that merged pretty well with the atmosphere. It was very quaint, with nothing more than a king-sized bed, a dresser, and a mirror.

He stood in front of the mirror, getting a good look at himself for the first time in hours. He had seen himself at the hospital, but it still came as a shock to see a blonde teenager looking back at him.

He understood now why he had been so irritable back at the program building. The person looking back at him in the mirror was him, yes, but...it wasn't truly _him_.

Those eyes seemed too deep of a hazel, his hair too gold to be natural, his freckled skin too pale to belong to a human. It made him...upset. Enraged. Distraught. His own reflection reminded him that this body did not belong to him, reminded him of what he was, what he should've been.

 _Says he's happy, he's a liar._

 _Blame the arson for the fire._

Old memories of long gone enemies resurfaced, clear in Bill's mind, the ones he had worked so hard to forget. Bill's fist was clenched, shaking as he struggled to restrain himself. He knew that glass was sharp. Piercing. But his reflection pierced him more. That reflection wasn't him. It never would be.

There was a deafening shatter, the color of blood prominent in his vision. His reflection multiplied by the hundreds, and his other fist flung forward in a fit of rage. Still, his reflection remained, stuck on the mirror like an image burned onto a TV, burned into his mind.

His hands were drenched in blood, his fingers stung, shards of glass like knives in his palms, but his fists continued to contact the mirror again and again.

Eventually though, he forced himself to stop. He couldn't handle any more pain. Blood trickled down his arms like a waterfall, tears like rivers on his face. They both ran down inhuman skin, a body that he could never call his own.

He would never be Bill Cipher again.

That realization was like a punch to the gut, and he heard a sob. At first, he didn't believe it was him, it had to be someone else. Bill Cipher didn't sob. Bill Cipher didn't punch mirrors like a maniac. Bill Cipher wasn't scared of his reflection.

Bill Cipher was gone.

There were footsteps crawling up the stairs now. Someone had heard him; his only hope was that it wasn't-

It was.

She froze when she saw his hands, the mirror, the look on his face, anger and hate mixed with terror and disbelief. Anger and hate for _her_ , she realized, but terror and disbelief at himself more than ever. It didn't matter, his palms were bleeding like mad, and she ran back down the hallway to the bathroom, digging through the medicine cabinet, not stopping until she found the gauze bandages.

She wrapped them around his hands, trying hard to get him to stop pulling away. Rain knew, deep inside, he didn't _want_ her help. He didn't want _anyone's_ help. She knew the feeling all too well. As soon as both his fists were entirely covered, she muttered something under her breath. Her palms shone a faint green, the gauze glowing for a moment before the color faded.

"That should do away with all the glass," she breathed. Bill jerked his hands away, got to his feet, and backed himself into a corner. Rain's eyes went wide when she saw his face, his eyes red and swollen, tears running down his cheeks.

" _I don't need your help!_ " he shouted. " _I don't understand why you would even think of helping me!_ "

"Bill-"

" _Do you think I'm...weak or something?!_ " he interrupted, voice shaking, a sob forming in the back of his throat. " _ARE YOU SAYING I'M WEAK?!_ "

" _NO!_ " Rain yelled. "I'm not saying anything because you won't let me!"

" _Then WHY?! Why do you care?! Why would you help me?! Why would you care about Bill Cipher?!_ "

" _BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW BILL CIPHER!_ "

Rain expected him to retort, and Bill tried to think of something to say. There was silence between the two, and Rain gave a heavy sigh.

"I've only heard about you in whispers," she said. "No matter what you might think, not everyone fears you. Heck, not everyone _knows_ about you. I don't know who you are, I'm don't you, so I'm willing to give you a chance because I don't know what you've done. I'm willing to think you're at least a bit redeemable, despite what people say."

"Yeah, well, same here," Bill retorted. "I have no idea who _you_ are. What makes you think I'm gonna listen to every word you say, believing every little thing you tell yourself? What makes you think I'm gonna let some girl I don't even know hold my hand and tell me 'everything's gonna be alright?'"

"Hey, no, listen-"

"What?! Do you think everyone in this house is gonna hold hands and sing songs about peace and love?!"

Rain took a deep breath.

"Look," she started. "There's always certain things you can tell about people." She headed back towards the door, knowing she wasn't going to get to say much more before he exploded. "You're more scared of yourself than you are of me."

The door shut, leaving Bill bewildered, enraged, and terrified.


	7. Chapter 7: Reflection Demons Aren't Nice

_Shapes and colors whizzed past as Dipper and Mabel's space racer warped them through hyperspace. The twins held each other tight and screamed as a kaleidoscopic explosion of unnatural colors and sounds swirled around them. Time stopped, and all at once they found their space racer hovering in a strangely glittering and mysterious milky white void._

 _"Blendin? Blendin?" Mabel said into the intercom, but the intercom simply emitted white noise. The battery had gone dead suddenly, and she shook the device a few times before Dipper motioned for her to stop._

 _"Where are we?" he mused._

 _His question was answered by a strange otherworldly voice that seemed to ebb and flow like whale song from the ether._

 _"You are in the time and space between time and space," the voice echoed. "Come on, climb out of that space racer. I have a very nice beanbag chair."_

 _From out of the fog, the axolotl emerged, it's frills flowing as it did through the vastness. Mabel tugged on her brother's sleeve, Dipper's mouth agape. The twins exited their space racer and climbed onto the beanbag chair._

 _It was infinitely comfortable._

 _"Who are you?" Mabel asked._

 _"I am the Axolotl," said Axolotl. "But enough about me. You've managed to find me, so you get one question apiece. Don't waste it!"_

 _Axolotl felt that having two small humans as company was more pleasant than the triangle it'd had company with a few eons ago, when it had told Bill Cipher of the prophecy. The demon had simply laughed at the Axolotl, mocking the creature for such a claim._

 _But still, these children would not remember it, and it made Axolotl the slightest bit bitter._

 _Oh, well, better enjoy it while it lasts._

 _"What are you, like, a salamander?" the girl asked._

 _"I am the Axolotl," it replied. "And that was your question. How about you, boy?" Axolotl stared at Dipper, and the boy thought for a moment._

 _"What do you know about Bill Cipher?"_

 _Of course. Axolotl should've expected the question. It'd seen the triangle in the twins' past, but it would've never thought that the demon was so prominent in their minds as to spark the question. He pondered for a bit, his eyes beginning to glow._

 _Sixty degrees that come in threes._

 _Watches from within birch trees._

 _Saw his own dimension burn._

 _Misses home and can't return._

 _Says he's happy. He's a liar._

 _Blame the arson for the fire._

 _If he wants to shirk the blame,_

 _He'll have to invoke my name._

 _One way to absolve his crime._

 _A different form, a different time._

 _The twins stared blankly._

 _"What the heck does that mean?" Dipper asked._

 _"Shh! It's free-form poetry!" Mabel countered. "I thought it was beautiful. Maybe a little wordy."_

 _The Axolotl laughed. "You won't remember me tomorrow. But it was my genuine pleasure to meet you, um..."_

 _"Mabel!" said Mabel._

 _"And my name's Dipper," said Dipper._

 _"No, it isn't," said Axolotl with a smile._

 _There was a blinding flash of light, and the day began again, as if nothing ever happened._

* * *

Rain shut the door, leaving Bill to himself. There was silence for a few moments before she slid down the door in agony, letting out an exhausted groan. Her hands were pressed to her face in exasperation, and she muttered a few curses under her breath.

"Great," she grumbled, "I've sabotaged myself."

She reasoned that getting the gauze and helping him fix his hands up was the right thing to do, but there was a bit of regret behind the memory of it. Helping him had immediately made him bitter towards her. For what reason, she didn't know, but it's not like she could've stood back while he _punched a mirror._

'"Well," she sighed, "it could be worse."

 _Oh, please, Rain, you're the living embodiment of "it could be worse." As soon as you say that out loud, it is going to get worse, somehow, it always does._

"Shut up, you don't know anything. Remember that time at the arena?"

 _..._

"That's what I thought."

She stood up with finality, looking at the mirror across the hall.

It was still kind of disturbing to see herself with black eyes, but she knew that someday she could figure out some sort of spell for that. Now she had to focus on the matter at hand.

Oh, right.

 _Him._

There was something about him that made her shiver a little. Something about the way he watched her. Something about those hazel eyes that made her feel a little less safe.

 _Well, it's no wonder, he punched a mirror, for God's sake._

She whipped her head around to the mirror again, a sly smirk spread across her reflection's face.

"Well, you're no help," Rain muttered. "I don't even know why I keep you around." Her reflection scoffed. "Oh, come on, I have better relations with Stark than I do with you, and his relationship with me is less than adequate. Spiderman has it nice."

 _The walls aren't very thick, you know. He's going to hear you talking to yourself._

For once, Rain had nothing to say.

She didn't remember when she had started seeing the reflection like that, maybe it was back when she had fought that...thing. Her reflection constantly teased her, supplied her with sassy remarks that she didn't quite enjoy, and just annoyed the heck out of her. She was glad that her reflection couldn't really _do_ anything, other than talk to her, and she was even more glad that she was the only one who could see it.

That meant a smaller number of people who were terrified of her.

She could hear Bill gently hitting his head against a wall.

 _Well, at least he isn't injuring himself._

"Yeah, you could say that again." She sighed. "You think I even have a chance at actual friendship here? For once in my life?"

Silence.

 _Look, he's just stubborn. He'll get used to you. You'll have no problem with the others. I think the robot already likes you._

"The robot...?"

 _Blue._

"Ah, Wheatley," Rain chuckled. Her reflection smiled.

For once, she was looking forward to her current situation.

* * *

This was...different.

Bill didn't really know how to describe the emotions he was currently having, simply because he had never felt those emotions before.

Usually, when he felt sad or angry or scared, it was because one of his plans didn't work. Because someone had gotten in his way. Because something had backfired. Now he was sad and angry and scared, and it wasn't because something had happened. Nobody had gotten in his way. Nothing backfired. He had no plans.

And yet, despite all of that, he still felt sad. He still felt angry. He still felt scared.

Maybe it was because of being human. That seemed the most obvious answer. But it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. He'd possessed many people before, experienced being human before. He'd been in a human body. How was this any different?

He reminded himself that when _possessing_ someone, he could back out at any moment using only his willpower. Now, if he wanted to leave and go to the mindscape, well, he couldn't just _fly_ out his body and float away, now could he? No, this was permanent, this was inescapable.

 _Well, then, so what? Is being human so bad?_

He slid over to the wall, banging his head against it, trying to get the feelings out. Maybe if he hit his head enough times, his feelings would just-

Something cut into his thoughts. He didn't know what it was at first, just white noise from...somewhere, he didn't know, but it sounded like speech. English. Words. They echoed across his mind, making his skin crawl. The words became clearer in his head, and he could make out a voice.

 _Well, at least he isn't injuring himself._

He could hear Rain talking outside.

"Yeah, you could say that again."

His heart plummeted, and he chuckled grimly.

"So that's what you are," he whispered.


	8. Chapter 8: Cereal for Dinner

_It's true what they say. There are hundreds upon hundreds of channels, and yet, nothing to watch._

Rain sighed, flipping through the TV guide while making sure the bowl of Fruit Loops didn't topple off the couch leg and onto the floor. From the few channels she'd stopped on to see if they were interesting, someone's mom was burning on the ceiling, a police box was being attacked by manikins, some soccer team was winning four to two, and Sherlock Holmes was playing violin to a glass chamber filled with fruit flies.

She could've probably hooked up the Switch by now, since there weren't many cords to deal with, but it was late enough as it was, she was already in her pajamas, and she really didn't feel like doing any work whilst eating.

Not that the cereal was any good.

The good news was that there were no mirrors in the room where the TV was, so she couldn't hear whatever her reflection had to say to her. That was one less annoyance to deal with. She was already so stressed out about the whole gauze-mirror incident that she had practically blamed herself for it.

 _I mean, he was the one who broke the mirror..._

She flipped over to the news, which was mostly occupied by the latest news about the president (not surprising), then flipped over to the news station for PYFF, hoping it would have something more to offer than garbage news.

To her surprise, it was talking about a villain.

" _...has been, supposedly, sending bounty hunters searching for lone heroes._ "

According to the captions, this villain was known as "the most feared man in the multiverse."

 _Voldemort, maybe?_

 _No, he's been dead for a while._

Finally, after several minutes of staring intently at the screen, the name Black Hat appeared in the captions in big black letters. Rain didn't recognize the name, but something about it made her shiver. She shoveled another spoonful of cereal into her mouth with haste, now engrossed in what the reporter had to say.

" _No villains have been sighted in Fiction Frontier yet, but their distance from our safe-guards is becoming potentially dangerous for PYFF and its participants._ " Rain swallowed. " _There is no need to take precautions yet, these are low-rank bounty hunters under fairly lenient authority, according to inside sources, though lockdown will commence if we receive any information about Black Hat's presence in the neighborhood himself._ "

Was Fiction Frontier _really_ the name of the neighborhood? If it was, Rain thought it sounded like something from Disneyland.

The report transitioned into a breakdown of the weather for the upcoming week, and she groaned and switched the TV off. She gulped down the remaining milk in the bowl and got up to put the dish in the sink.

As she rinsed out the remaining crumbs of her cereal, she heard footsteps creaking down the stairway. The only person she could possibly think was up at ten o'clock was Hatbox, as ghosts really didn't need to sleep. She walked calmly out to the couch again, and as soon as her eyes landed on the person sitting there, her breath hitched.

 _Freckles._

She didn't have anything against him, but now that Bill was lying in the exact spot she had been in before (he was taking up more space, considering he was laying down), any chance at _trying_ to sit down would've probably resulted in getting yelled at.

Still, she had to _try_. She wasn't going to give up sitting on a comfortable surface just because some jerk-face was sitting there, too.

She took a deep breath, hiked up her fluffy leopard pants, and shuffled over to the couch.

His eyes landed on her for more than a few seconds, and although his neutral expression became slightly downcast, he made no attempt to deter her. She sighed in relief, slumped over, and plopped onto the sofa with little more than a yawn.

The silence the yawn left was unnerving, and she could tell there was something on his mind. How she could tell, she didn't know, but there was a blanket of tension that seemed to cover the living room in uncomfortable warmth. She tried to think of something to say, but all that she could think of was small talk. She supposed it was enough.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?"

 _Shoot, that sounded a bit irritable..._

"I mean," she started, "I should be, too, but I was just wondering, it's been a long day, you must be tired-"

"I don't need to sleep."

"...Huh?"

"I _said_ I don't _need_ to _sleep,_ " he repeated, voice even, though Rain could sense that he was trying to hide his annoyance. "I'm not human, remember?"

"Oh," she muttered. "R-Right, forgot."

More silence.

 _Dang it, this was what I was trying to avoid..._

"Look, um...I'm...sorry...about earlier," she started, though she really didn't believe that it was her fault. "I understand that...well, you know, you're getting used to this whole thing, you must be stressed-"

"You were talking to a demon earlier."

Rain's stomach plummeted towards the ground, followed by her heart and her lungs.

"...I mean...I w-was talking to you-"

"Not me."

 _Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot._

 _How did he find out?_

"I... I don't know what y-you're talking about," she stuttered. Bill smiled menacingly.

"Yes, you do," he growled. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

 _Crap. This can't be happening._

"N-No, I don't," she sputtered. "W-What are you talking about, anyway?"

"What do you usually see when you look in the mirror, Rain?"

Rain shot up from the couch immediately, beads of sweat dripping down her face. Walking as stiffly as a human being can, she marched up the stairs with a horrified expression, practically running down the hallway to her room.

Bill heard the slam of a door before all was quiet.

He had gotten to her. He was hoping he would, but he hadn't expected it to be that fast. He had only spoken eight sentences and she had run off in fear.

Wait, no, she hadn't. A door opened upstairs, and then she scurried back down the steps carrying a small mirror. He could hear the white noise again, but it seemed to get louder and louder as she descended the stairway.

 _Why are we doing this again?_ said a voice.

"I told you," Rain muttered. "If he wants to know, he's going to know."

 _But he already knows._

"Don't care, don't care to care."

The voice made Bill's skin crawl. His ears rang louder with every second, and his heart seemed to beat faster with each passing second. The voice was human; it sounded like Rain's, but it also sounded unearthly. Demonic. His mind felt numb just listening to it. He could barely _think_ without hearing that voice in his head.

He'd heard of this. Certain demons spoke only through the mind, and it was impossible to think for yourself when you were in their presence. He supposed this was one of them, but he never knew that hearing those kinds of demons could be so... _painful._ He had heard it before, yes, just an hour ago, but he supposed the door to his room had blocked the transmission from coming through so strong.

 _Rain, wait, I think this might be a bad idea..._

"Oh, come on, how bad can it be?"

 _Just look at him for once, look at his face._

Rain looked up from the mirror to see Bill's face twisted in agony, his hands pressed up against his ears, and she suddenly remembered that her reflection wasn't very...friendly to the mind, at least not at first. She smacked the mirror face down on the coffee table, and Bill's expression softened almost instantly. She sighed in relief.

Rain still hadn't forgotten the first time she had met her reflection, her ears ringing and her mind numb. It had felt as though all her senses had been set on fire, every nerve on edge. That must've been, she realized, what Bill had been feeling.

Now that the reflection was face down, neither of them could hear it.

"S-Sorry," Rain muttered. "I wanted to... I don't know, to prove a point, maybe, but it was stupid." She rubbed the back of her neck, sitting back down on the couch.

"It's fine." Bill sounded so patient, and it threw Rain for a loop. Maybe he didn't hold grudges like she thought he would.

His expression changed almost immediately, as if suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be mad at her. He folded his arms over his chest, and Rain tried her best not to giggle.

"Well, I'm going to bed," she said, standing up. "But...you know, humans need to sleep, so, I dunno, you might need to as well."

"Oh, please," Bill sneered. "I'm not as human as you think."

"Well, okay," Rain chuckled, "but don't blame me when you doze off."

She picked up the mirror, covering the reflection with her hand so that it wouldn't interfere with Bill's thoughts, and ascended the stairs to her room.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.


	9. Chapter 9: Gonna Have a Bad Time

Rain had a vibe that she would wake up to Bill doing something drastic and surprising. Maybe he was defacing property or killing ants with a wine glass. In hindsight, she should've expected to be woken by the sound of glass being thrown to the kitchen floor. She shot out of bed, got on some shoes, and ran downstairs.

The sight that greeted her was...less than acceptable.

There on the kitchen floor was a puddle of glass shards accompanied by a few spots of blood. The cupboard holding all the wine glasses had had its door ceremoniously torn off and thrown to the ground, and several glasses were missing. Amongst the wreckage was Bill, huddled up on the counter with a big, goofy grin on his face, looking fairly... _proud_ , yes, _proud_ was the word, he looked _proud_ of his work.

 _Great_ , Rain thought bitterly, _now I need to clean this up._

"So, um..." Rain smiled, confusion and defeat in her eyes. "Why...why would you do this?"

"I was bored," said Bill nonchalantly. "It was something to do. It's not my fault nobody was up until six thirty."

"Is...is that really what time it is...?" Rain took a glance at the clock, which did indeed read six thirty. Bill chuckled a little, reaching over his head to grab another wine glass from the cabinet. Rain scurried around the corner before the resulting impact, glass particles soaring across the kitchen in all sorts of fascinating angles. She peeked warily behind the wall, watching Bill chuckle to himself, his arms speckled with broken glass.

Rain watched in fascination and in horror as the wounds Bill had suddenly accumulated patched themselves up automatically, the shards of glass tossing themselves to the ground like a rather startled herd of goats.

"I discovered this morning that this fleshy vessel heals itself now," Bill explained, holding up a rather burnt looking arm for Rain to see. "Also, completely unrelated, I found out where the lighters are." Rain grimaced a little at that statement. She wasn't completely sure that that fact was _bad_ news, but it was certainly uncomfortable news. She didn't know how willing he was to burn the house down, much less burn the people inside it.

"Would you...like to help me clean this up?" she asked.

" _Me?_ Help _you?_ " Bill threw his head back, letting out the most annoying, harsh, loud laugh he could muster. He didn't even have to look at the girl to know that she looked exhausted, he was practically throwing a thousand insults at her without saying a word.

Well, three words.

"Do I look like an _idiot_ to you?" Bill chuckled menacingly. Rain stared blankly at him, pondering her next words.

"I've got the weirdest feeling you want me to say _no._ "

Bill let out another laugh. "I like you!" he said, albeit more to the air than to Rain. "You've got spunk, that's for sure. But if you think I'm going to do anything you say, you've got another thing coming. I'm not an idiot."

Rain continued to stare blankly, before the corners of her mouth pulled up into that sly smirk he dreaded. That feeling of irritation had settled in his stomach again, and he stared at her shrewdly, eyes like daggers, daring her to speak out against him.

"Are you...scared of me?"

Bill's eyebrows raised sharply, his lips promptly crinkling into a shocked frown. How dare she even suggest such a thing. Her spunk had quickly become one of the _last_ things he liked about her, not like there were many other things on the list to begin with.

"...Of course not," he replied, trying to hide the dread and annoyance in his tone. "You're a human. You're a puny, worthless speck of dust out of the billions on this tiny speck of a planet."

"And... you aren't any different...?"

Bill growled a little, a warning for her, which she only giggled at.

"Get me down," he grunted. Rain grabbed the broom from the corner and pushed the glass aside into a pile. She decided she would clean it up later.

"If you don't mind me asking," she said, holding out a hand, "why do you hate my guts so much? You hardly even _looked_ at me yesterday and you just... _decided_ you hate me."

Bill was very, very still for a few moments before he looked down at his knees.

"You make me feel... _you make me feel,_ " he said quietly, fiercely, his stomach in a knot, "and I don't like it. I want it to stop. _Now._ "

Rain froze, and all at once, her gut seemed to twist itself into a ball, the smirk that seemed ever present in her eyes seeming to vanish, replaced by glints of light and emotions she couldn't place. For one, she felt guilty that he was feeling the way he was, whatever he was feeling, but on the other hand, she felt confused and surprised at the fact that _she_ was making him feel the way he was.

"Well...look at it this way," Rain started. "Maybe you're... _feeling_ because you're human now. When you were a demon, you had...what emotions?"

"Pride. Fear. Anger."

"No guilt or disgust or love?"

Bill glared at Rain like she was an idiot.

"Okay, then," she chuckled. "No guilt. No disgust. No love. So, you had the basic emotions of a wasp and a moral compass the size of a small rock." She sighed. "You know how empathetic humans are? Babies kind of literally need attention and contact to not be messed up as adults. We've got an enormous gamut of emotions."

"Well, that would it explain it," Bill muttered angrily.

"What about I take you to breakfast?"

His eyes narrowed almost immediately, his lips forming a scowl.

" _What?_ "

"There's a diner nearby," said Rain. "I wanna try the food there. And anyways, I feel like you need to get out of the house. You know, fresh air and all that?"

"With _you?_ "

"With me."

Bill was silent. For once, he was at a crossroads. He supposed he _could_ go with her. Even if this human flesh stick didn't need food, the food that humans made was absolutely _baller._ On the other hand, if he stayed here, he could do whatever he wanted for the next couple of hours and not have to deal with her until she got back. On the other hand, humans weren't particularly fond of waking up to the sound of shattering glass.

"Can we just...get along?" Rain asked.

Silence.

"Look, we're kind of stuck together here, so we might as well make the best of it. Besides, I hate fighting with someone who's supposed to be on the same side as me."

Silence.

"Or you could just not talk to me," she muttered. "That will work."

"Be quiet," Bill snapped. "I'm trying to think if this is a good idea or not."

The room was quiet for a few moments, just Bill thinking and Rain savoring the blissful silence. It was perfectly disaster-free for once. Finally, Bill jumped onto the floor, a calm expression on his face.

"Okay," he said. "It's decided. I'll go with you."

Rain pumped her fist in the back of her mind, knowing it was a step closer to a good relationship.

Well, maybe not a _good_ one, but adequate at the least.

* * *

Ima walked down the sidewalk of Fiction Frontier, her form glitching every so often. She was a traveler, curious about the PYFF program. She tucked in her jacket as her screen flickered, a cold breeze causing a shiver to travel up her back.

She saw someone walk onto the sidewalk a couple doors down, sporting a red sweater. She seemed...normal for someone in the neighborhood.

 _Maybe she joined the program. Why else would a human be here?_

Rain wiped the dust off her jeans and walked down the cobblestone steps. When she looked up, she saw another person whose head resembled a TV screen.

Ima snapped out of her thoughts when she saw Rain. _Might as well welcome her!_ She walked across the sidewalk and stopped right in front of the other girl.

"Ey, welcome to PYFF," she said. "I'm Ima." She stuck her hand out to shake.

There was a smirk present in Rain's eyes for a few seconds before she responded, "Likewise. I'm Rain." She extended her own hand and shook Ima's. She found it kind of weird that her head was a TV, but she reasoned that she'd seen stranger.

"Nice to meet ya," Ima said happily. She looked around before mentioning, "I've heard that a mind demon enrolled in this program." She seemed to space out in thought before finishing, "Bill...Cider, I think? Yeah, almost destroyed an entire town, I believe."

"Ah, yeah, he signed up, alright. In my group 'n' everything." Rain shrugged. "He's not as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. If I were a less logical thinker, I'd have thought him a cat."

Ima laughed. _A cat. That's...that's accurate._ "I thought he was a Dorito. And yeah, everybody treats him like the baddest of the bad, but he's...he's weird, that's all there is to it." She looked at her wristwatch, which didn't exist. "Oops, I'm late! Bye!" Ima ran one way, then another, then ran to the north until Rain could no longer see her.

 _What a weird person._

The front door of the house shut rather loudly, and she heard Bill cackling to himself.

"That's a nice sound!" he remarked. "I've never slammed a door before!" He opened it and slammed it again, laughing even louder. "That's a _destructive_ sound!" He looked at Rain. "Do you think if I did this enough times it would swing off its hinges?"

"You're not wearing shoes," Rain commented, looking at Bill's bare feet.

"So?"

"Humans...wear shoes in public."

"I'm not human," said Bill blankly. "I never was. Why are you expecting me to act like one?"

"So..." Rain tried to think of a reason. "So that you can trick people...?"

Bill stared blankly at the girl for a few moments before he opened the door again, walked back inside, and stuffed his feet in the shoes he had been wearing the day before. He stepped outside and slammed the door one final time before walking down the cobblestone steps.

* * *

"So, humans eat in this dump?"

Rain promptly shushed him, worried what the staff would think if they overheard him.

"I know it's not exactly five-star," said Rain, "but you have to have some sort of respect for this place or they'll kick us out."

"Good, let them," Bill retorted. "Then we can go somewhere more exciting."

"You're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?"

She didn't have the heart to tell him off, let alone drag him back out, and besides, she wanted breakfast. She hoped he'd get used to the place before the waiter came over, or they'd be in big trouble.

Bill was currently sifting sugar between his palms, having ripped open most of the sugar packets in the little tray on their table. He picked clumps of the stuff out that he thought were unsightly, and he scoffed a little when the powder stuck to his fingers.

"This is boring," he muttered. "Don't we get to order or something?"

Rain fixed a level stare at him, smiling teeth and all, and said a little too innocently, "Soon, Bill. But for now, we just have to be _polite._ "

"Who cares about being polite?" he hissed. "The people here are being ridiculously slow." He emphasized his words with a point towards the counter, and Rain lazily followed the line of his finger. She sighed deeply as he opened another sugar packet and dumped its contents onto his little pile.

She could tell he didn't feel guilty.

Finally, a waitress walked over to their table, sporting a polite smile and a small notepad.

"Can I get you two started with something?" she asked happily. Bill rose to his full height to tower over her, and he felt smug satisfaction at the fact that her smile faltered when she saw him.

" _I wish to eat the unborn,_ " he demanded, clenching his fists.

Rain sighed. "Eggs," she clarified. "He wants eggs." She wondered if the waitress even realized that Bill was just trying to scare her because he felt so bored. She chewed on her tongue, looking at her menu with a vacant expression.

"And I'll just have some buttermilk pancakes," she said simply. "With sausage patties, please."

The waitress smiled and wrote down their order, then walked off towards another table.

"So why are you making such a fuss?" Rain asked, though she already knew the answer.

"This place is hideous, and I'm bored." He sounded petulant, even to himself. Rain looked at him sleepily in defeat, and she stared off into space as the two waited for their food.


	10. Chapter 10: Evil Shenanigans

Black boots against black marble, the distorted scenery giving Saimin Louis a headache. It didn't help that the little green girl next to her seemed so bright in contrast to the rest of Castle Bleck, given she was wearing such a bright yellow, and that the castle was made up only of black walls and white outlines.

"He did mention he wanted to see you," Mimi sang in her usual chipper tone. "Said something about the Prognosticus and a prophecy or whatever."

"Given he can practically recite that thing back to front," Saimin grumbled, "I'm not too surprised." She crossed her arms. "But what's all that got to do with me?"

"You'll have to ask him," Mimi answered. "The Count won't let me lay a pinky on that silly book. Nastasia's only ever held it for three seconds. It's a wonder Dimentio's able to have it for such long periods of time!"

Saimin smoothed out her short, black hair. "Wasn't it his to begin with?"

"You ask me that like I know, doofus."

A shiver went up Saimin's spine rather suddenly, and from the look on Mimi's face, she had felt it, too. A bone-chilling laugh ran along their backs and across the monotone walls, as if the castle itself were laughing at the two of them. Saimin's expression dropped (not like it had been that bright in the first place), and Mimi grimaced.

"Alright, Dimentio," the green girl scolded, "we know you're there, you doodoo head! You're lucky I'm having a good day or you'd be mince-meat!"

"Oh, my, Mimi," a voice taunted, "do you think you'd even be capable of fighting me? Do you recall what happened last time?"

Mimi pouted, and Saimin half expected her to start stomping her feet. " _Yes, I know what happened last time!_ " she shouted. " _I'll hit you in the face with another jewel if you continue to pester me like this! YOU'D BETTER NOT HAVE MY DIARY WITH YOU!_ "

"And here I thought you were having a _good_ day," the voice chuckled.

"Dimentio," Saimin interrupted, eager to speak to the jester before Mimi's head started spinning, "didn't you want to talk to me about something? Something important?"

"Ah, yes, I had forgotten." The outline of a small, white box surrounded the space before them, quickly closing in on itself, distorting the space it contained. As if obscured from view by the illusion, the purple and yellow jester appeared as the outline shrunk, his mask forever showing a small, placid grin. Mimi huffed, not particularly excited to see the magician.

"Hello, Saimin," said Dimentio with a hint of amusement. "What a pleasure to see you."

"Pleasure's all mine," Saimin responded with gritted teeth. "If I wasn't on official business, I'd have choked you."

" _How threatening you are._ "

"Well, then," Mimi spat, "if I'm no longer needed, I might as well go. Have fun, _drama queens._ " A white box surrounded her, spinning her around until she flipped out of sight.

 _I've always wondered how that flipping thing works…_

"I've got exciting news for you," Dimentio grinned. "Seems that miscreant known as Bill Cipher came back from the dead."

"I've heard similar stories," Saimin groaned. "But that's _impossible._ He was _erased from existence,_ Dimentio. As in he ceases to exist."

Dimentio chuckled darkly. "So you say," he mused. "But I sense there's some sort of larger power behind the phenomenon."

"I thought you wanted to talk to me about the Prognosticus."

"Ah, that. Mimi must've misheard me," Dimentio corrected. "I told her that there's no use in sitting around Castle Bleck while the Count searches for the couple told of in the prophecy. No, I think we are allowed to search for other ways to waste our time before the void is opened, don't you think?"

"What a wonderful way to end everyone's lives," said Saimin sarcastically. "I hope you fail. I hope you fail and take that stupid book with you. Why don't you just _marry_ the Prognosticus since you seem to _worship_ it so much?"

Dimentio's smile faltered, his gloved hands clenched into fists.

"For the sake of your well-being, I advise you to watch your tone," he threatened. Saimin could feel a spark of magic in the air, and judging by its lethal aura, Dimentio wasn't kidding around. She shrugged and calmed herself down, hoping she could leave before things got particularly violent.

"So? What else did you want to talk to me about?" she asked.

"Black Hat."

Saimin's stomach plummeted.

"Okay, now that's not something I-"

"He approached me and asked if I was able to help him," Dimentio interrupted. "Word on the street has it that Dr. Flug Slys recently betrayed his employer's trust and escaped to the PYFF program in Fiction Frontier."

"Of _c_ _ourse_ he would," Saimin muttered cynically, looking at the floor. "Not like he was very loyal to that man in the first place."

"He also asked if I was willing to contact you."

Saimin's gaze snapped upwards so that she could make direct eye-contact with the jester, a look of disbelief and fear upon her features.

"You're _kidding._ "

"I'm deadly serious. As serious as-"

"A CEO in an electrical chair, maybe?"

Dimentio laughed at Saimin's dark humor. "Yes, something like that."

"Why _me?_ "

"Because you have a reputation," Dimentio chuckled.

"Yeah, so does _Thanos._ Why doesn't Black Hat hire _him_ for a change?"

"You do realize that Thanos would probably _obliterate_ Black Hat as soon as he had his hands on him?" Dimentio asked. "We're lucky their universe can't merge with ours. With the snap of Thanos's fingers-"

" _Geez_ , for such a threatening character, you sure are a _huge nerd,_ " Saimin commented with a smile. "Is there money involved in the ordeal?"

"Quite a lot of it, actually," Dimentio mused. "Black Hat's capturing heroes in revenge, heroes with large bounties over their heads. Rain N. Thirteen is worth at least two million dollars." He smirked. "Recognize the name, Saimin?"

Saimin's smile faded quickly as a shadow passed over her face.

 _He couldn't have known._

She tried to remember her old friend, the bleached hair, the denim jacket, the black jeans, the gray sneakers. She tried to remember what Rain had been like before the incident.

For the life of her, she couldn't recall.

"So?" Dimentio asked. "What'll it be, Miss Louis?"

"How do I tell him I accept the offer?"

* * *

Bill kicked yet another pebble, trying to find another word to describe Rain.

 _Useless._

He kicked another one, satisfied as it rolled across the ground.

 _Patronizing. Smug. Annoying._

He stared at Rain shrewdly as they walked back towards the house. She had a smile on her face, and though it wasn't the playful smirk he dreaded so, he still didn't like it. He stuck his hands in his pockets, trying to ignore her presence.

It proved harder than he thought.

"Quit smirking at me, I'm serious," he muttered.

"I'm not smirking," Rain stated simply.

"Well, stop laughing at me."

"I'm...not laughing."

"Well, quit whatever it is you're doing."

Rain whipped around to look at him. "This is me with a cheery disposition," Rain countered, gesturing to her face like a model in a magazine. "A ray of sunshine in the mist of bleakness."

"It's an excuse to laugh at me," Bill hissed.

" _Rain cloud_ ," Rain muttered angrily, the sun in her eyes immediately turning to a supernova. She turned around again and kept walking.

The journey continued again in silence, his unease only growing with every step he took. The grin was back on Rain's face as she admired the scenery, and he frowned a little at the sight.

"So," Bill started, kicking a rock that collided with Rain's heels, "why'd you fake your identity?"

"How'd you-"

"I figured it out," he stated. "I have seen you before, back when I could see the world through the eyes of paintings. You were always there. But your face was always blurred out." He smirked. "A scrying spell, I figured, but that same blur had a different identity every time, though I knew it was the same person." He picked up another rock, tossing it half-heartedly towards the east. "So, why'd you fake your identity?"

Rain stared at Bill, deciding whether telling him was a good idea.

"Sometimes," she said, "we have to do...bad things to get good results." She shrugged. "When that happens...people often forget about all the good you did."

Bill's head flicked upwards, so he could stare the girl in the face. His grin became unnaturally wide, and though she didn't know why, Rain became very nervous.

"You were a hero," he breathed. "Of course." He cocked his head to the side. "You betrayed someone, didn't you? I can see it in your eyes. The panic. What's gotten you so scared?"

Rain was silent.

"You _do_ know you can't just run away every time there's trouble," Bill chuckled.

"Sure, I can," Rain said fiercely. "I've been doing it for the past...four years, and it worked in my favor. Don't tell me things you don't know."

His laugh sounded like destruction and chaos.

"Oh, Rain," he sighed. "You amuse me."

"And here I thought we could've been friends," Rain muttered.

"I have too many 'friends,'" Bill growled. "All of them are brainless followers that wouldn't be able to tie their shoes if they had any. What I _need_ is an enemy to play with."

"Yeah, well," Rain muttered, turning around, smirking just the slightest, "I have too many of those."

" _You hide so much behind that smile,_ " Bill breathed.

He didn't quite understand why his nose had started bleeding until he noticed the bloody rock in the dirt, and he didn't notice _that_ until he saw Rain's rage-filled eyes, her arm thrust forward like she had just thrown something.

The smirk was no longer sly or smug. It was spiteful, irritable, enraged.

He knew it was better to fear her than to laugh at her.

"You don't know anything," Rain hissed. "I came here so I could enjoy myself for once. I came here so I wasn't in constant danger of being killed." She turned her back to him. "I'm sick of that life. And I'll kick you in the gut next time."

Bill sighed nervously, knowing she would've followed through with her threat if he hadn't shut up. He continued walking, wanting to get back to the house as soon as possible.

* * *

"Jasper."

The small, black cat looked upwards at the magician, who was hovering just a couple inches above him. His ears perked up and his tail flicked to the side.

"Ah, Dimentio!" he exclaimed, his starry eyes glimmering like the sun. He immediately frowned, crossed his arms, and stood on his hind legs. "Whaddya want, clowney?"

"What have I told you about the name calling, Jasper?" Dimentio chuckled. "It's not very safe to insult someone who could kill you with the raise of an eyebrow."

"Yeah, yeah, I got the memo, you sociopath," Jasper groaned. "So whaddya want, anyway? The last time you dropped by, you tried to turn me into a coat."

"Which is why we've established a name calling rule," Dimentio smiled. "But that isn't the point. The Man in Black wants your help."

Jasper snarled. "Of _course_ he does," he hissed. "Of _course_ Mr. McFear wants _my_ help. Of _course!_ " He stepped away from the beanbag chair he had been resting in and kicked it to the side. "Of _course,_ right as I clear that stupid bounty from my name, Mr. Black Hat decides to _hire me! ISN'T THAT GREAT!_ "

Dimentio watched the kitten's temper tantrum with delight and amusement, watching him mumble to himself and kick chairs around as the feline's eyes turned red with dark magic. The creature launched a fireball across the room, almost igniting Dimentio's cap in the process. The jester waved his hand nonchalantly, encasing Jasper in a glass box.

"How cute," Dimentio commented. "A tiny little cat in a box. It's just like the internet."

"Screw you," Jasper snarled. "You've never been on the internet, and you don't have enough empathy to be delighted by a cat in a box." Dimentio scoffed. "And don't you _dare_ snap your fingers or you _know_ what'll happen."

"Adorable," Dimentio mused, not seeming to pay any attention. Jasper clawed at the glass with an angry hiss, and the magician chuckled a bit.

"You'll rue the day you were born," Jasper threatened.

"Ah, yes, probably," said Dimentio. The glass box disappeared, and Jasper kicked Dimentio's shoe lightly.

"You are literally the worst."

"Will there ever be a time when you aren't needlessly spiteful towards me?" Dimentio asked. Jasper smirked.

"Will there ever be a time when you aren't needlessly spiteful in general?" he countered.

"Touche."

"Tell Black Hat that I'll accept, but only because I know he'll kill me if I don't."

Dimentio smiled behind his mask.

"I'll be seeing you," he said, before a white box shrunk around him. As quick as a flash, the jester had disappeared.

Jasper crossed his arms unceremoniously and returned to the beanbag chair. "Stupid clown," he muttered. "There are hundreds and hundreds of nerves in my body and he manages to get on every single one." He circled around a few times, curled himself into a ball, and fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11: Is It the Joker? Probs not

Ima walked through the street in a straight line, which was different than usual, at least coming from her. Today had been a strange day, and that meant a lot, considering it was Ima, but she was beginning to think all of Fiction Frontier was strange.

Still, she couldn't help but feel as if she were being watched as she walked home. She crossed her arms, hoping to shrug the feeling off soon.

Dimentio watched from far off, only hoping to catch glimpses of these so called "heroes" that Mimi had told him about. Black Hat had sent him to Fiction Frontier simply to collect information, nothing out of the ordinary, but he couldn't help but stare as Ima walked down the middle of the street, completely unaware that she was doing so.

This one...he could feel she was different, somehow.

She stopped and looked around. Her paranoid feeling, she could tell, was not an unreasonable one. She scanned the area, the air around her becoming darker as her characteristically good mood worsened. She hadn't been hoping to run into trouble.

"Who's there?" she asked, not really expecting an answer.

Dimentio chuckled. He knew it. Even when he was out of sight, invisible to the eye, this "hero" could still feel his presence.

Saimin and Mimi could only feel it because they'd known him so long, because they knew the feeling was much more than just "the feeling of being watched." They'd known the feeling too long to be tricked by that sickly human instinct.

But this girl, he knew, was smarter than that.

"So you seem to have spotted me," he chuckled, barely able to contain his excitement at this new discovery as he revealed himself. "You're much more than just an anomaly, that's for sure."

Ima turned to the jester, backing off a bit. She knew something was off about him, whether it be his continuous smile or the air around him.

"Who are you?" she asked, her gaze never leaving the jester. "And what are you doing here?" Her hands were behind her back, and the air near her became foreboding, as if she knew what he was capable of. Usually, she would greet a person with a sparkle in her eyes and a spring in her step. However, that sparkle wasn't there, and what was there instead was a cold glare.

Despite her instincts telling her not to do so, she stepped a bit closer.

"My name is Dimentio," the magician stated simply, not failing to notice Ima's unease. He had a flamboyant, yet threatening sort of air about him. "I am simply a magician sent by Black Hat." He chuckled darkly, choosing his next words with precision. "Not that you'd know who that is, Marima."

She went stiff at that name, shocked that he knew it. Some memories had been taken away when she was separated from her original self. Maybe she knew him in a past life, but she shook those thoughts out of her mind as she clenched her fists.

"I see, Dimentio," said Ima, though now her tone was friendlier. "I'm guessing you're looking for someone." The air around her was still dark, but she seemed kinder now, as if her name had suddenly turned her fearful emotions on their side.

"Oh, yes, I was," Dimentio said happily, somewhat disappointed that he hadn't startled her as much as he would've liked. "There were a few people I was looking for. I think Mimi mentioned a _Bill Cipher._ " At this point, he made almost no attempt to hide the fact that he knew who the demon was.

"Do you mean the child with the freckles and elf ears?" She had seen him slamming a door behind that Rain girl she met earlier.

If one was to take note, they would notice that she seemed like her old self, if they knew who she was, and that the shadows around her seemed to be dancing.

Dimentio smirked just the slightest behind his mask. "Ah, yes, I think that was how Mimi described him," he mused. "I was also looking for a... _Rain N. Thirteen._ "

Marima knew that name, and she knew what her home looked like. For a brief moment, a twang of extreme guilt and pain went off in her head, and the air around her was suffocating, but she resisted it and shook off the feeling.

"I think I might know who that is," she said. "But may I ask, why exactly did this...Black Hat send you here? What do you plan to do with Rain when you find her."

All these silly questions...what did she think she was playing at?

Dimentio's eye twitched the slightest, but he shook off the initial irritation towards the girl in almost an instant. He knew he had to continue feigning innocence until this was over, or all of this would be for nothing.

"They are but acquaintances," he lied. "Black Hat only wishes to meet Rain in person. After all, she did use to be a hero."

Marima knew he had different intentions, but she seemed interested, to say the least, to see what would happen. However, something in her kept her from telling every detail.

Ima simply said, in a calm and almost playful tone, "Rain and Bill live together in a town called Fiction Frontier. However, that is all I can say." Despite her tone and movements, her eye and shadow betrayed her, showing her true intentions.

One side kept the other from telling the whole truth.

A spark of curiosity turned into a flame in Dimentio's mind, the girl's energy telling him that there was more to her than he initially thought. He refused to act upon the urge to pry, for he knew it would end only in ruined plans. Still, the girl did not seem to notice how the shadows greeted the magician like an old friend.

"You are stranger than the dreams of a man in a mental hospital," he chuckled. "Very well, then. I shall take my leave. I have no other business here."

The air around Ima grew darker, and then not dark at all, and the girl simply waved and left. She was a rather strange one.

 _Or two,_ Dimentio thought, _depends on what you believe._

"Jeezy _peezy,_ " Jasper groaned from behind the corner, causing Dimentio to flinch. "That was _disastrous._ You didn't get nothing out of her, we already know where those two are."

"Patience, Jasper," Dimentio chuckled. "It was a matter of perception."

"Oh, _really?_ " Jasper put his hand to his cheek in mock curiosity. "Pray tell what your perception of the situation was, because all I saw was 'tell me information I already know whilst I gain _nothing._ '"

"I did gain _something_ , my good friend," the jester corrected. "Now I know that we have someone to play with."

"What, the TV girl is someone to _play_ with?" Jasper grumbled. "This ain't elementary school, Dimmy, this is real life."

"Depends on your point of view," said Dimentio. "What is real and what isn't, I mean. Right at this very moment, there could be someone watching us."

Jasper only scoffed.

"So, whaddya planning to do with your so called 'information?'" Jasper asked.

Dimentio smirked. "Same as always, little kitten," he explained. "I'm going to use it to my advantage. That girl is the final piece of the puzzle." He chuckled darkly. "Now we just need to figure out how to put it together."

* * *

Rain noticed, as the day went on, that Bill seemed to be a little less energetic than usual. He seemed to get more and more tired the longer he was awake. She wasn't surprised, she had expected fatigue to take a toll on him, despite what he thought he knew about himself.

"You need rest," she told him finally. " _Really._ "

"No, I _don't_ ," he snarled. He stifled a yawn. "I'm fine."

"Okay, then," Rain laughed. "Don't come crying to me when you fall asleep."

The sun was already starting to set, anyways, the summer months meaning that it was later than it would've been a few months earlier. The clock read eight-thirty, and although Rain usually fell asleep at ten, she decided she'd better catch up on sleep, since she hadn't been doing so recently. She pulled herself off the couch and up the stairs, leaving Bill to himself.

He scoffed as Rain left. How dare she tell him what he was feeling? He didn't need to _sleep_. It was a thing that humans did, and he was too stubborn to bring himself down to mortal level.

Still, there was a weird sensation behind the initial exhaustion. He couldn't really pin it down, but he felt as though he was...

Falling.

That's what he felt as he sat on the couch, trying to keep his eyes open. It was like he was sinking into the cushions and pillows, and he tried to drag himself out a few times but found that he hadn't really been sinking after all. He was in the same position he had been in a couple minutes ago.

 _Huh..._

His eyelids kept sliding shut when he wasn't paying attention, and he found it harder to open them every time they closed. Eventually, he just gave up and let them fall shut. If he was completely honest with himself, this felt sort of...nice...in a weird way.

What was this feeling? He couldn't really describe it as exhaustion. No, it felt more peaceful than dire. He didn't think he had ever really felt this feeling before, it must've been one of those...human emotions Rain had talked about.

But those were _emotions_. He didn't think he was human enough to have their same _needs_. _Humans_ needed rest. _Humans_ needed sleep. Maybe _that's_ what he was feeling. Sleepy. Tired. Something like that. He hummed to himself thoughtfully, feeling that sinking feeling slide in again. It was enjoyable, sure, but it started to make him feel a bit weak. He decided, for now, that feeling that way was okay. With limited powers, he was sure to feel that way.

 _He felt the world around him start to slip away into nothing as he descended into sleep, sinking into warmth. He was vaguely aware that he had passed the blurred line of reality and into dreams, as he had never known where the gradient began._

 _That's what italics are for, of course, but never mind that._

 _His thoughts swirled left and right, his mind trying to find something to think on in subconsciousness. Bill had always liked the ocean. Yes, the vast, open area of water was not much different to the mindscape, already so empty, but there was much to explore the farther you went in._

 _The ocean was warm. The ocean was almost as black as night. The currents of the ocean swept across his face, and his eyes opened slowly, widening just a bit when he realized that he was no longer on the couch. He could, somehow, feel it distantly, but it was drowned out by the feel of the coarse sand beneath him, warm and soothing. Bill breathed evenly and slowly, already aware of the slow, steady decrease of oxygen._

 _Humans needed to breath._

 _He tore himself from the sand, pulling upwards towards the dim light he registered as the surface. There was no urgency in the way he ascended, he had plenty of air left in him. It wasn't like anything would stop him._

 _He couldn't understand why he felt so eager to reach the surface. No, eager wouldn't be the word, but since he was asleep, he had a hard time searching for whatever word his tongue was trying to grasp. There was an urgent ticking in his brain, a time limit of some sort was present in this dream, and yet he couldn't quite figure out why it was so—_

 _Something had taken ahold of his leg._

 _He twisted around, only to find himself staring back at a cold, empty void of endless ocean, and out of the darkness, a long, black, slender arm, attempting to pull him into the abyss. Yet another seemed to snake up towards him, excitement buzzing through it, but excitement for what? To pull Bill down towards darkness? He reached upwards, kicking away with all his strength, determined to make it to the surface, but whatever the reason was, it was lost to him._

 _Another arm grabbed at his wrist, others at his legs and feet; he had barely made contact with the surface of the water when one jerked downward viciously, causing him to gasp and sputter as he was pulled under the waves._

 _Whispers filled his mind, his senses were blank, he could barely think. He didn't have the strength to keep going. The voices spoke in a tongue long dead, one that Bill swore he had once known, but had forgotten long ago. Still, a buzz of excitement coursed through the words, filling him with a sense of dread._

 _Emotions he couldn't place, the feel of waves washing through him while the air washed out... The voices threatened him; they told him of things that he had denied for so many years, they told him of the arrival of an overwhelming power with such eagerness that he was sure he was starting to feel it as well, though the fear in his heart filtered it. He couldn't, for the life of him, understand a word, but the emotions the words brought was enough._

 _He's returned, they said, he's returned to bring forth the apocalypse._

 _All hail our savior._

 _They pumped poison through him, clotting his mind with strange, overwhelming feelings, his body becoming numb. He went limp, his final breath taken—_

He awoke in a pool of sweat.

In an instant, he had fallen to the floor, the light of the sun blinding him for a few seconds before he realized that he'd woken up.

It was morning.

He groaned, his side ached from where he'd hit the ground, his eyes peeling open slowly. He pushed himself up with his hands, trying to remember how he did it in the hospital. He was careful this time, propping himself back onto his feet—

"Well, look who finally decided to wake up."

His foot slipped out from under him in the surprise, and his chest hit the floor as Rain chuckled.

"Heh. And here I thought you were used to this already," she said. "I mean...the whole sleeping thing. Did you...not sleep the other night?"

" _No,_ " Bill snapped. "Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry," Rain apologized, holding up her hands in mock surrender. "I didn't know I was the scary type. _Am_ I the scary type?"

"Sort of," Bill admitted. Rain snorted. " _Don't laugh._ I have good reason."

"I apologize for my laughter," she said, mocking sympathy. "I didn't realize my laugh was so damaging to your reputation or whatever."

Bill groaned, getting himself up off the ground. He managed it better than last time and heaved himself onto the couch. He vaguely wondered how he'd learned to walk so _fast_ , but he didn't question it too much. Besides, some things just _were._

As Rain walked into the kitchen to make breakfast, he wondered if the same was true of his dream. If it was just something that _was_.

He hoped there was reason behind it, and that he wasn't just going insane.

Then again, he had always been insane.


	12. Chapter 12: F(r)iction Frontier (Haha)

" _WHAT?!_ "

"It's true, Mimi," Nastasia answered, tightening the bow on Mimi's new dress. "Kit's, like, thirteen, 'k?"

" _But that's the WORST PART!_ " Mimi shouted. "I didn't think Mr. Black Hat would be the type to hire a _LITTLE KID!_ " She turned her head towards the blue girl. "Um...I think there's a string loose back there, by the way…"

"'Course, there is. I've never been too good with stitchwork."

"Where were we…? Oh, yeah," Mimi started. "Can't you just...I dunno, hypnotize the kid and make him _go home?_ "

"He had specific reasons as to why he didn't _wan_ t to go home."

"Oh, yeah?" Mimi said through gritted teeth. "Kit Harper doesn't wanna go home 'cause why?"

"He said there was a monster that lived in his old house," Nastasia said simply. "The one that made him stop talking, 'k? Think he _wants_ to be attacked by a monster?"

"Well, no," Mimi replied sheepishly, "and _that's TIGHT ENOUGH, thank you very much!_ "

Nastasia promptly let go of the sky blue dress with a look of mock surrender, and Mimi twirled around a couple times.

"Well, you've really outdone yourself, Nassy!" she exclaimed enthusiastically. "It's perfect! Great for looking intimidatingly evil and positively cute at the same time!" She turned to the secretary and gave her a big hug.

" _M-Mimi-gack-I think I-I'm losing circulation!_ "

"Oh, whoopsy!" Mimi said, loosening her grip. "Sorry, Nastasia." She started to run off. "Well, I'm gonna go give those heroes Dimmy talked about a nice, warm welcome!" She winked playfully. "If you know what I mean."

With that, she left Nastasia to herself. The secretary pulled back her purple hair and tied it into its usual bun, then smoothed out her white blouse. She sighed, feeling the air in her room growing cold again, and picked up the cup of tea from her desk.

She could already tell that she wasn't alone. There was an excited buzz in the air that held the slightest traces of bitterness, two auras she'd known almost too long.

"Didn't think you two would ever travel together," she spoke, more to the air than at something specific, though she knew who she was talking to. The space around her seemed to anticipate the jester and the cat's arrival, and they were already there, if only somewhat.

As Dimentio and Jasper teleported in, she could tell the magician was smiling under the mask. Jasper didn't look particularly content, but instead looked rather tired. Nastasia smiled just the slightest.

"So, what's gotten you so excited, Dimentio?" she asked.

"Would you happen to know a young girl by the name of Marima?" he asked, making Nastasia practically spit out her tea. She coughed a couple times, having instead breathed it in, looking at the jester as if he had just ruined one of her papers.

"You're...you're kidding," she grumbled. "As in incident 123-76B?"

Jasper's eyes went wide as well. "Wait, is _that_ who she is?!" he asked in disbelief.

"You didn't know?" Dimentio replied, an eyebrow raised. "Surely you're not that uneducated, Jasper."

"Well, I mean, _I wasn't there!_ " Jasper countered. "At the 'incident,' I mean! And stop raisin' that eyebrow, it's making me think about how I can see it behind the mask."

"I am very expressive," Dimentio stated simply.

Nastasia rubbed her temples. "Look...just don't try to make anything large scale out of this," she said. "I don't wanna have to deal with something that big. You hear me, Dimentio?"

"Hmm?" Dimentio looked as though he was filing his gloved nails. Nastasia groaned, then showed the two out of her room with minimal haste. As the two left, she plopped herself onto her bed with a large sigh.

God, she was tired.

* * *

"Hey, Saimin," Jasper chimed, walking into the empty pizza parlor. Saimin stood there, wiping down tables as the early morning hours began. No one had arrived yet, so it was just the two of them. Saimin only grunted, a sign that she had heard but didn't care. Jasper's presence was relatively common in Downtown Fiction, at least to her.

"How was your villain meetin' yesterday?" she asked.

"Oh, great," Jasper growled, his mood already worsening. "Up until Black Hat decided to make Dimentio and I spy on heroes or somethin'." He jumped up onto a table. "Lord, that clown sure takes his time. He talked to this TV-head girl for like a minute for information we already know. All like, 'Hey, where's Bill Cipher live? Where's Rain N. Thirteen live?' As if we don't already know."

"Yep, that's 'im, alright," Saimin sighed.

"And then," Jasper continued, crossing his arms, "he has the nerve to turn to me and be like, 'Oh, it's a piece of the puzzle' or whatever."

" _Psssh_ ," Saimin picked up her cleaning rag, "well, ya know 'im an' his similes an' whatnot. Don't be too surprised when he starts bein' all psychological." She tossed the rag behind the counter and grabbed her coffee from a nearby table.

As the two of them sat in the empty pizza parlor, Saimin tuned out Jasper's tornado of insults directed specifically at Dimentio, trying to alleviate the headache the cat was giving her. Apparently Dimentio had sent him news of the whole Black Hat ordeal and Jasper had decided to take him up on it, though not without hesitation, as it was.

 _Should've contacted that stupid demon-cat before Mr. Corny Clown stepped on his tail,_ she thought bitterly. She took another sip of her coffee, hoping the caffeine would wake her up a little.

Jasper gave her an entire play-by-play of the previous day's "villain meeting," talking fast about the new villains Black Hat had hired. She realized, about halfway through, that she had barely been listening to important information she ought to know.

"—and this kid's real impressive, you know, he's got—"

"Wait, wait, wait, stop," Saimin groaned, hearing Jasper's breath hitch as she caught him mid-sentence. "Who's the new kid? Talk a little slower."

Jasper sighed, already certain she hadn't been listening. "Kit Harper," he said. "You have any idea who he is?"

"No," Saimin admitted.

"Me neither," Jasper chuckled. "He's got these weird powers that distort reality and some such. Can't talk. Told me he used to be able to, but one day he got attacked by a mind monster or somefin' and all of a sudden his words got caught in his throat—"

"Okay, yeah, yeah, I can see your interest in the kid," Saimin grumbled. "Don't let your demonic interests turn 'im into a puppet, 'k?"

"You know very well I can't possess people, Saimmy," Jasper hissed.

"Don't call me that."

"Yes, ma'am," the cat said mockingly. "Then there was this robot woman. Everyone keeps calling her 'Her,' as in her with a capital H. Dimentio finally relented and was like," he cleared his throat, preparing to do a rather crude impression of the jester's voice, "'Her name is GLaDOS, but no one ever calls Her that' or whatever."

"Okay, then."

"Then there was this girly girl named Mimi." Jasper clenched his teeth as he spoke the girl's name, as if it brought back irritating memories. "She's a shapeshifter, got it? And she's totally obsessed with fashion and the like."

"You sound like you don't like her very much," Saimin laughed, remembering the green girl all too well.

" _I don't,_ " Jasper admitted angrily. "But like...she's super girly, and all of a sudden I set her off and her _frickin' head starts spinnin' like crazy!_ "

"Wow."

"And then, like, there's these weird spider legs that come out of her body!" Saimin could practically hear Jasper shudder. " _SHE STARTED CHASING ME, SAIMIN! NOT COOL!_ "

"Calm your tits, Jasper," Saimin said jokingly. "It ain't the end o' the world yet."

"Well, when it happens, my nonexistent kitty titties will be super un-calm, 'cause I'm ninety-nine percent sure spider-lady will _be the cause of it!_ "

Saimin was sure she was going to pass out if she laughed any harder.

She heard the _ring_ of a bell, signalling that a customer had just walked in. Saimin shot Jasper a look to make sure he stayed quiet like an actual cat, and he immediately shut his mouth and got on all fours. She turned to see who had just walked in.

Ima had been walking down the street, occasionally spinning and stopping. Last night had been a bit fussy, to say the least. It wasn't until she saw a cat with words flying around him in the shop window that she had stopped walking. To tell the truth, the words around him were blurry, like part of an aura of some sort, but also understood, like off the tip of her nonexistent tongue.

"Umm, hello there!" she said, not sure what to make of it. There was also a girl close to him, wearing a sort of black, crop-top sweater with no sleeves. She was familiar, but any memories Ima tried to bring up were fuzzy and static, so she ignored the feeling. For now, at least.

"Oh, h-hi," Saimin sputtered, having not really expected Ima to talk to her. "Did you...need somethin'?" She bitterly remembered that at some point in the conversation, Jasper had mentioned a girl with a TV head, and by the looks of things, this was her.

"Did you see the cat?" Ima said, her tone full of amazement and confusion. "He was standing up on two legs and there were words flying around him, and—"

She stopped talking.

 _How rude!_

She mentally face-palmed herself. She should've introduced herself!

"Oh, wait, that was rude," she apologized. "Umm, my name is Ima! Nice to meet ya!"

Saimin smiled at the girl's apologetic tone, though she was slightly confused. She held out a hand to shake. "I'm Saimin," she replied. "Nice to meet ya, Ima."

Ima smiled, or, at least, it seemed like she did. She couldn't help but feel as if the cat was judging her. She could tell, but not exactly, that he might've known something she didn't.

"What an adorable cat!" she exclaimed as she petted Jasper.

Saimin could already tell that Jasper was fed up with Ima, but she gave him a glare that said "try anything and I'll kill you." She giggled a little in response to Ima.

"Yeah," she said. "His name's Jasper."

"Cool. Anyways, just asking, but have I seen you before? I think I might have," she asked, to either confirm the familiarity of this person or to ease that small fear. Either way, ever since that meeting with Dimentio, her memories had started resurfacing.

"Can't say I've ever met ya before," Saimin admitted. "Might've seen you in town once or twice." She was already starting to worry that Dimentio told this girl more than he let on, but that was a small hurdle.

"Hmm, maybe…" Ima seemed lost in thought, at least, until she had the urge to ask about that Dimentio fellow. She didn't notice, however, until she had already said it. "Hey, last night, did ya see a purple and yellow jester, too?" Once she noticed she quickly added, "I mean, it was at night, you were probably sleeping, and I might just be crazy!"

However, something in her knew better. Yes, she was crazy, but she could tell from the air around Saimin that the two were related, somehow. Her aura hid traces of his energy within it. She knew the jester.

 _But why should I care?_ she asked herself. She remained silent, waiting for an answer, to see if Saimin would deny this.

Saimin winced a little, not expecting the question. She tried to play it cool. "You mean the jester guy everyone's been talkin' about?" she asked. "I've heard bad things about 'im." Jasper threw a glance her way that wasn't particularly nice.

Ima noticed Jasper's glare and simply shrugged.

"Okay," she said, the air around her colder and darker than it was before. "Welp, anyways, I've gotta get going! See ya later!"

As Ima walked away, she could tell something big was going on, but she seemed to forget.

Or maybe it was a facade, who knows?

Saimin watched after her for a few seconds, rewinding the scene a few times in her head, like a broken record player as certain parts repeated over and over, not completely accurate. She was almost certain she had felt the air change as the girl left.

"There's somethin' about her," Jasper hissed, and for the first time, Saimin noticed that the cat had puffed up. "Somethin' off. Don't you see it, Saimin?"

"See what?" Saimin scoffed. "She seems perfectly normal to me."

"Yeah, that's because you ain't a demon," Jasper retorted. "Her aura just makes me feel...uncomfortable. Didn't you feel the air change? It got darker...colder."

So she _hadn't_ been imagining it. Her head being a TV was arguably more normal than most things in Fiction Frontier, and Saimin had seen strange, so seeing Jasper get all riled up like this, well…

"Are you okay?" she asked. "The last time you were like this was when we met Cyrus."

" _Don't talk about him,_ " Jasper hissed, the name already bringing back bad memories.

"Right, so—"

The door was banged open by a green figure, and she immediately flung one of her daggers at the girl. There was a moment where time seemed to slow down as Jasper shrieked and Saimin held back a groan. The dagger collided with the girl's frilly blue dress, causing blood to splatter all over it.

There were a few moments of silence before Mimi pulled the dagger from her chest, smiling sweetly. "Was that supposed to hurt?" she said innocently.

"Hey, Mimi," Saimin grumbled.

"Spider girl?! _You know her?!_ " Jasper yelled. "Just my luck…"

"Golly, I've gotta say, Saimmy," Mimi smiled, knowing Saimin resented the nickname, "you did a real good job _ruining my outfit._ I was planning to do some real nasty things in it, you know?"

"It's...new," Saimin commented.

"Well, yeah," Mimi exclaimed, twirling around. "Nassy made it especially for me! I told her I wanted a dress that looked threatening, but cute at the same time! Whaddya think?"

"You look like _Elsa_ ," Jasper snickered. He narrowly dodged a ruby that Mimi promptly tried to throw at his face. He yelped a little, hiding bitterly behind Saimin's leg before she shook him off.

"Hmph." Mimi crossed her arms.

"What's the big idea, toots?" Jasper teased. "You goin' out or something? Or do you not think you were pretty enough beforehand?"

"Jasper," Saimin warned, but the cat ignored her, anger in his eyes.

"You don't look like a villain, that's for sure," Jasper chuckled, tapping his foot. "Just some spoiled eight-year-old brat who thinks she deserves a crown or somethin'."

Saimin could already see that Mimi was at a loss for words, her face growing red with anger as Jasper continued to talk. Saimin started to stand up, backing away from the two, already knowing what was coming.

"You think all that money's gonna make you queen?" Jasper laughed, not noticing as his friend backed up. "Face it, Mimikins, you're nothing but a little sloo _oooOOOOOH MY GOD!_ "

It was too late.

Mimi's head was spinning rapidly, her eyes becoming devoid of life as her body became limp. Six spindly legs burst from within her, touching the ground gingerly as she started to cackle. Jasper tried to run for Saimin, only to find she had left.

A malignant air overtook the room as Jasper jumped around to open the motion sensor door. When he finally managed to get it open, he ran around the corner of the block and out of sight with haste. Mimi pushed her way through the pizza parlor's front door angrily, not at all pleased with Jasper's insults. She was also not very happy that her dress had been ruined, but she supposed that was partly her fault. She hadn't been planning to get all nasty like this, but what was she supposed to do?

She resolved to do the one thing she was here to do: create chaos.

* * *

As Ima walked down the streets, away from the pizza parlor, she could've sworn she heard a strange sound. She felt a shiver run up her spine not unlike that of Dimentio's aura, but this one was...different, somehow. She could sense that it was weaker.

She stopped walking when she heard all the shrieking, and saw the little green spider girl everyone was running from.

"Well, hi, there, Downtown Fiction!" Mimi laughed. "It would really make it a whole lot easier if you'd all just start emptying pockets! Mimimimimimi…"

Ima had to hold her head for a few seconds, at least until all the colors stopped flashing and the people were gone. Eventually, she managed to get reoriented, just slightly annoyed at...whatever this thing was.

"Um...hi?" She wasn't frightened, but was still a tad confused. She stood where she was, her head still fuzzing a little bit.

"Well, hi!" Mimi practically shrieked, not being able to hold back a giggle. "It's awfully strange to see someone who isn't running!" She couldn't help herself, she was just too curious. This girl wasn't like everyone else in the city.

Suddenly, from around the corner scampered Jasper, who immediately shrieked and hid behind Ima, who jumped a little. "ACK! It's her! I knew it! _The spider lady's gonna end the world!_ " He recognized who he was standing under. "Yo, TV girl, you aren't scared of her?" He was shaking a bit. "Can you fight her off or somethin'? She'll tear my tail off!"

Ima took a step forward and just stood there, the air becoming colder. Two arms started to appear from her back, and it seemed that she was daring Mimi to make a move. The arms landed on the ground, holding her up. The air was chilling.

Mimi suddenly realized why this girl wasn't scared of her.

" _OH!_ " she exclaimed, a cackle threatening to rip from her throat. "You're the girl Dimmy talked about!" She shrugged as best she could in her spider body. "Oh well! Guess I'm just gonna have to fight both'a you—"

Ima launched herself at Mimi while the girl was speaking, clawing and screaming and seemingly trying to choke the spider, as if the air around them wasn't suffocating and freezing enough. Though Jasper was cheering the girl on, seemingly unaware of the aura surrounding the two, Mimi was screaming, trying her best to untangle herself from the girl. Though she was invulnerable to attacks at this point, she could feel Ima's attacks penetrating her skin.

" _JASPER!_ " she shrieked, trying to pull away. " _DO SOMETHING!_ "

Marima wouldn't relent, claws digging into her skin. She seemed to be in a strange state of mind, as if she wasn't aware of anything else around her. She eventually stopped, but had two claws on Mimi, the other arms squeezing the green girl.

Thick tree roots suddenly wrapped around Mimi and Ima, separating them as Jasper watched with confusion and awe. Mimi struggled to free herself, Ima still trying to claw onto the spider girl.

A lanky, green haired with dark skin in a brown hoodie stood near them, looking generally disgusted but otherwise unphased. Mimi noticed that he wore a bullet belt covered in leaves. He raised his hands and the roots grew father from the ground, making Mimi realized that the man was controlling them.

Ima stopped for a moment and looked at the man. Her breathing was still a bit heavy, but she had calmed down. She still had her guard up, but she was calm nonetheless. She let go of Mimi and looked at her claws, seeming to come to her senses.

"Oh…"

She looked around, coming out of a trance, realizing their situation. She curled up into the roots, assuming the man would slam them into the ground, knowing the roots would provide a sort of defense. Mimi continued to shriek in protest, jerking in every which way in an attempt to escape. Jasper was now rooting for the man as he brought his left hand down quickly, slamming Mimi into the ground.

Ima knew exactly what the man was going to do, and quickened her pace in covering herself with the roots. But contrary to her assumption, he slowly lowered his right hand to the ground, realizing Ima was not looking for trouble. The roots carrying her lowered. She appeared not to notice.

She prepared for the man to try to slam her down, still trying to figure out why she had gone berserk earlier.

"Geez," she heard the man say in a thick Russian accent. "And here I thought the talk of the clown guy would be the most of my worries." He looked at Ima. "Hey, TV girl, you're safe from the spider."

Jasper whooped loudly, raising his hands to the sky as if in victory. As soon as Ima heard this, she opened her eye and climbed out of the roots, now sitting on top of them, putting her head to her hand in thought. Her other arms were still there as she climbed down carefully, but they slowly started to fade.

"Thanks," said Ima. "If you hadn't shown up, I don't know…"

 _Wait, why did I come here again?_

She shook the thought off and said, "Well, thanks." She scratched her arms. "I don't know why I wanted to claw her skin out and...stuff…" She seemed to smile. "Anyways, I'm Ima! What's your name?" The slightly cold air seemed to disappear completely as her other arms retreated into her back. She seemed friendly now.

"Name's Cedar," said the man. "Cedar Volkov." He did a finger-gun. "If this is what happens every day, I swear to God Mel's gonna laugh at me." The two heard Mimi groan a little in pain, back in her regular form, but Cedar made a motion that seemed to mean that he didn't care about the spider girl.

Ima smiled, or at least it seemed so, as the air around her became more colorful. She turned to Mimi once more and muttered a swear under her breath. She clasped her hands together and nodded, starting to skip away.

Her thoughts went back to the topics that were on her mind before, about how she seemed to be acting strangely. First, she had acted like another person, and now she was going berserk. This was troubling for her, as she had feared this would happen soon.

She just hoped she could stop it before it overtook her.


	13. Chapter 13: Apocalypse What The Hecc

" _Why_ are we doing this again?" Bill asked. Wheatley dragged him along as Newton and Dennis talked fast to each other. They were currently in Fantasy Landing, the suburban shopping area of Fiction Frontier.

"I already told you," Wheatley sighed, but he had a smile on his face. "You and I only have one outfit, Newton said his wardrobe doesn't fit in on Earth, and Dennis only has stuff from the 1950s. We're going clothing shopping."

"Great," Bill groaned. "Rain put you up to this, didn't she? Sounds like something she would want. Fresh air, or whatever."

"Actually," Dennis piped up, "it was my idea. Not everything mutually advantageous is Rain's idea. Besides, we all _do_ need some fresh air."

"Those are some bold words for someone with no powers of his own and no way to defend himself," Bill threatened. Dennis only groaned, knowing the only thing Bill would've been able to hurt was a fly on the wall. Bill probably would've tackled him, had he not a decent understanding of his own fragile meat suit.

"Just don't attract too much attention," Wheatley sighed. "The stares people are giving us are making Newton nervous."

Bill blew a raspberry at Wheatley, who frowned in disapproval. Wheatley touched Newton's shoulder gingerly to console him, which made the light bulb jump a little.

So far, Bill had gathered this about the three he found himself company of.

Wheatley had no real concept of the human world. Everything was new and surprising to him, though he seemed to get it without any real explanation from others. He had told Bill that there were files in his system for a lot of human things, ranging from the sun, the grass, the sea, horses, cats, and unicorns. Well, Wheatley called them "unicrons," but Bill didn't mind that too much.

Newton had experience in the field of monsters and battling, experience that he didn't like to dwell on too much. The past few month had left him rather traumatized and jumpy rather than the usual cocky and adventurous Newton Bill had seen in the years he was a demon. The light bulb wasn't all that smart, either, though he was logical. He couldn't do complicated mathematics, but he sure could tell a good situation from a bad one.

Dennis wasn't quite a coward, but saying he was brave would be an overstatement. He could say what he felt as long as he wasn't intimidated, but he had never had any experience with monsters or battling. He had learned about Black Hat through the rumors and PYFF archives rather than through any real prior knowledge, and even then, he feared the man in black because of description alone.

Newton and Wheatley already seemed very close, as if they had been friends for a while, though Bill knew they had only known each other for little more than a day and a half. Though Bill thought he was imagining it, Dennis seemed to be a third wheel.

"So, am I gonna try on clothes or something?" Bill asked, annoyance peppering his tone. "Like a human?" He scoffed a little.

"Well," Wheatley started happily, "I'm not human and I'm going to try on some clothes!"

Bill should've been mad, he really should've, but he found he couldn't be enraged at something so helplessly, pathetically adorable. He chuckled a little, letting the acid drip into his tone.

"Try not to hold your breath, _android,_ " he said. "I'll follow you around for the day, but don't get your hopes up."

Wheatley smiled a bit, already knowing Bill meant harm, but he didn't care. Bill Cipher didn't seem very threatening to him. All he seemed like was stubborn and reluctant to do anything relatively normal. Bill seemed to sense this, as he sighed, following the group on their shopping spree.

The demon wasn't particularly happy about it, but if he wanted to grow any stronger, he supposed he'd better not get himself killed in the process.

"How about this one?" Wheatley asked, holding up a large, yellow sweater.

"It's too bright," Bill grumbled. "I don't want anything yellow."

"What color would you prefer?"

"Blue, maybe, or red or gray," Bill answered. "Black or white works, too, I suppose."

"How about this?"

Wheatley held up a large, dark blue hoodie, and Bill sighed. He nodded reluctantly, and the android smiled and threw the hoodie into the cart. He picked up another shirt, held it in front of his body, and threw it in as well.

Bill was getting real tired of being stuck here, of feeling displaced and unusual. He realized that something had vanished in the past few days, maybe the urge to tear these people in half, the urge to make a scene, the urge to be conspicuous at all.

He wondered why he'd lost it.

"This is cute," Wheatley said, holding up a blue dress.

"Wheatley, that's a dress," Dennis countered.

"Yeah," Wheatley said, seeming not to understand. "I know it's a dress. What about it?"

Dennis opened his mouth again, but thought better of it. He turned and grabbed a shirt with two eggs on it, reading "you crack me up." He laughed and threw it in the cart. He turned to Bill.

"I don't suppose you'd want to have any fun, would you?" he asked. Bill scoffed at the indictment.

"And bring myself down to human level?" he laughed. "How you enjoy these useless bonding activities is inscrutable."

"Inscrutable?" Wheatley repeated, looking confused.

"Incapable of being understood," Dennis clarified. "But whatever. I enjoy these activities simply because I like not being killed by monsters and stuff."

Bill huffed a little, blowing a loose strand of hair out of his face. "Can we go now?" he asked irritably, pulling himself away from the group. "I mean, I'd hate to be a bother," he said those words with more sarcasm than necessary, "but I'd rather not hang out with a bunch of mortal pests who think they can just turn a demon into their little pet—"

As he was pulling away from the group, he bumped into someone, throwing him off balance. He stumbled a bit where he was, then turned to see who he'd run into. A lanky teenager with a purple jacket and lavender hair (Bill assumed it was dyed) turned to meet his gaze.

"Are you okay?" the man asked.

Bill laughed dryly. "I'm fine," he said. "Maybe you should watch where you're going next time."

Next to the teenager stood Saimin Louis, whom Bill knew nothing about. She pulled at her friend's wrist, recognizing the demon instantly.

"Hey, Dean, let's get a move on," she said. "This bozo ain't worth your time."

'Dean' nodded a little. "Whatever you say," he replied. The two walked away, leaving a fuming, angry Bill to sit behind.

Wheatley put a gentle hand on Bill's shoulder, but the demon pushed it away angrily.

" _Let's get this stupid shopping trip over with,_ " he hissed.

* * *

Cedar shut the front door of his new home, sliding down to the floor in defeat, hands pressed to his eyelids as he let out a groan.

He still wasn't used to this at all.

A house in place of a forest, actual danger in place of general annoyances (not that either was auspicious), and sweltering heat in place of the usual cold.

Well, at least he thought it was sweltering, but only because this place was temperate, instead of the freezing cold he was used to back in Siberia.

There was a loud knock on the door, and Cedar groaned at the fact that he knew exactly who it was. He had been expecting Cagney Carnation to show up today.

Cagney and Cedar had long since become friends, always annoying each other but always enjoying the other's company. It was Cedar's idea to invite Cagney over for once, simply because he didn't know anyone here and he was bored.

Cedar stood up and opened the door, not surprised to find Cagney's bright orange hair and freckles staring back at him. Cagney was approximately four foot ten in stature and wore mostly green, aside from the orange carnation on his vest that matched his namesake.

"'Ey, flower boy," Cedar chuckled. "You're a little late."

"Hey, you said four o'clock, and it's four ten," Cagney countered. "I'm fine."

Cedar scoffed and motioned Cagney inside.

"Well, I've gotta say, Volkov, these are pretty nice accomodations," Cagney mused. "You like it here so far?"

"I can't say it's been great," Cedar grumbled. "I mean, the living space is nice, and the neighbors aren't noisy, save for the door slamming that happened yesterday, but I was just downtown and I ran into a giant spider child."

"A...what?" Cagney said confusedly, pausing his admiration of a vase of roses. "Why was there a spider in Downtown Fiction?"

"Who knows," Cedar answered. "I mean, I was the one who had to stop it from terrorizing people, and luckily the spider was pretty easy to get a hit on."

"You didn't show off, did you?" Cagney chuckled. Cedar looked at him with intrigue, then let out a roaring laugh only Cedar Volkov would've been able to let loose.

"I mean, a little," he admitted. "I made the motions with my hands while I was using the vines. You know I don't have to do that to control them, just have to think about it is all."

This time, it was Cagney's turn to laugh. "Well, I guess it's nice to know you're able to take care of evil-doers in this neck of the woods."

Cedar smiled a bit, before going over what Cagney had just said. "Wait…" He placed his hands on his hips. "When you said you wanted to visit to check out the place, you didn't mean…" He frowned. "You're moving in next door or something?"

"Well, you caught me," Cagney laughed nervously. "I mean, how could I resist? It's a nice place, and it'd be nice to not be in constant danger of Goopy tramplin' all over my garden for once. Hilda's better at protecting that place than I am."

Cedar groaned. "I can handle _you_ , sure, on your own," he said, "but with all of... _this?_ " He pointed to the TV, which had been left on to a news story about Black Hat. "Just what do you think you'll be doing?"

Cagney shrugged. "What everyone else has been doing, I guess," the ginger answered. "I mean, even big bad Dice decided to try signing up. It's for fun, not for annoying you."

"Well, when you put it like that…" Cedar sighed, massaging his temples. He chuckled a little. "I guess it's not really my place to tell you what to do." He put a hand on Cagney's head and ruffled his hair. "Do what you want, you overgrown weed."

" _Cedar! Quit it! I don't wanna have a bad hair day again!_ " Cagney pushed his friend's hand away with a huff. "I thought you said you were gonna make tea!"

"Oh, yeah, I was," Cedar mused. "Thanks for reminding me." He walked into the kitchen and pulled out the tea bags he had just bought. "Do you prefer green tea or chai tea?"

"Green's fine."

Cagney didn't remember exactly how he and Cedar had met. He supposed it was back on Inkwell, before he sold his soul to the devil. Every week, Cedar would appear in Inkwell with almost no announcement other than the occasional whisper from Beppi the Clown, who often treated the man as a sight to behold.

"There goes tree boy," the clown would sometimes say to Hilda. "Think he's goin' on a little shoppin' spree? Or does he work for the devil, eh?"

"Shut up, Beppi," Hilda would scold. "Not everyone who doesn't show their face is workin' for the devil. Now stop spreadin' rumors, you buffoon."

Nothing Cedar did seemed out of the ordinary. He would walk all the way to isle three, say hello to the few people who knew him, walk back to isle one with a couple bags of groceries, and leave without a trace. Some people said they saw him teleport to get to the isle, but since Djimmi was already a natural in the teleportation business, there wasn't much chatter about it.

On Cedar's fourth or fifth visit, Cagney couldn't remember, the ginger offered to help carry one of Cedar's bags. Cedar obliged, thanked Cagney for the help afterwards, and was gone. The routine continued every week, the only downside being Goopy Le Grande's remarks that "Cagney Carnation has a boyfriend."

Hilda quickly shut the blue blob up by drop kicking him back into the forest.

Cagney would often make small talk with Cedar. He quickly found out that Cedar was, indeed, part tree, as Beppi had said. He was a byproduct of a nuclear accident, but wasn't bothered by it all that much. Cedar looked to be either sixteen or twenty-two. As it turned out, he was forty, and he supposed the radioactivity helped him look young.

Cagney was especially delighted to find out that Cedar liked roses, and bought him a vase for the tree to take home. Cedar accepted it, and Beppi had let out a hoot.

Apparently the clown had been talking with Goopy, and Hilda gave both a stern talking to. Nobody paid much attention to Goopy or Beppi's rumors, anyway, since the only accurate rumors came from the mouth of Cala Maria. They never really qualified as "rumors," because anything Cala said was always thought to be, and was, true.

The only thing Cala said about Cagney and Cedar was that "they were getting along swell, but they had a strange relationship." Said strangeness seemed to be that they annoyed each other to the point of what the Baroness would typically call "fighting conditions," but then immediately switch back to normal chatter.

"I guess, what she means," Hilda had clarified, "is that you two always seem to be on the verge of fighting and kissing at the same time."

Cagney had nearly spit out his tea at that statement.

The next week, he invited Cedar over to his house for dinner, a gesture which, around Inkwell, meant a cemented friendship. Beppi considered it a date, but he kept it to himself. He didn't want Hilda to stick a needle in his nose.

From there, Cagney got to know Cedar's family. They were an odd bunch, to say the least. Cagney's personal favorite would've had to be Cedar's sister, Sakura, a kind hearted, yet dirty-minded girl who's accent bordered on both Japanese and Russian. She was Cagney's favorite only for the fact that she treated him like a younger brother, but also because she reminded him of Hilda.

"Yo, Cags, sugar or honey?" Cedar asked, interrupting Cagney's thoughts.

"Honey," Cagney answered. "Hey, what's all this about...Black Hat?"

Cedar popped his head out of the kitchen. "Beats me," he said. "Your tea's ready." He walked over to where Cagney was seated on the couch, plopped down, and handed Cagney a cup of tea. He sipped his own tea gingerly, taking care not to burn himself. The water was still hot.

They watched TV the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

 _Slam!_

Rain jumped at the sudden noise, whipping around to see who had just walked in.

She sighed, seeing it was only Dennis, Wheatley, Newton, and Bill, back from their shopping trip. Bill was currently nose deep in a purple scarf wrapped around his neck, wearing a dark blue hoodie and pink sneakers.

Rain couldn't help but snort.

"Hey, guys," she said. "I was preparing some bruschetta for lunch...any of you allergic to anything?"

"Your face," she heard Bill mutter.

"Eggs," Dennis answered. "But I doubt there's eggs in bruschetta."

"You'd be right!" Rain laughed. "Nothin' but bread, vegetables, and cheese." She started to peel a clove of garlic. "Also, you know what's interesting? Apparently tomatoes...are both a fruit and a vegetable...cause 'vegetable' is more of a cultural definition. Same goes for corn."

"You know, Bill kind of looks like a tomato right now," Newton commented.

"Buzz off," Bill grunted.

"Could one of you help me by cutting the baguette?" Rain asked, grabbing a serrated knife from the wall magnet. "Just cut it diagonally...about half an inch slices, till you fill up the baking sheet."

"I'll help!" Wheatley answered, walking over and grabbing the knife. "I've always wanted to learn how to cook."

As Wheatley settled himself in the kitchen with Rain, Bill plopped himself onto the couch with a groan. It was no use being angry if no one was going to pay any attention to you. Instead, he fixated himself on the TV, which Rain kept on for white noise. _The Coyote and the Roadrunner_ was on, and Bill grabbed the remote and turned the channel.

He turned to a dead station that he supposed had been that way for a while, but the static amused him. Any human would've probably turned the channel to something else, but he was enthralled. How any human could pass up a dead channel was suddenly a mystery to him.

The channel was changed by Newton.

" _Hey!_ " Bill shouted. "I was watching that!"

"I...It was a dead channel, Bill," Newton replied confusedly. "You were watching static?"

Bill, seeing nothing wrong with watching static, snatched the remote back from the light bulb. "You ought to _ask_ next time!" he argued. "Likely, I would've said no, but you ought to ask!"

"I...okay." Newton watched as Bill turned the TV back the previous channel, sighed, and joined the demon in watching the station.

He supposed Bill was a lunatic, but didn't question it much. He had never met the demon personally before this, but had always heard the rumors. Erratic, contentious, threw tantrums… Apparently, all the rumors had been true, but not in the way Newton had expected.

If Newton was honest with himself, Bill seemed like a toddler. The demon seemed perfectly content as long as he was left alone and given attention when he wanted it. If Bill was able to go off and do his own thing without question, he wasn't a bother.

The moment he was forced to do something that didn't match up with his schedule (or his wishes, Newton couldn't tell), he would lay himself down for the public to see and make a show of it. The only time he didn't was when he could get something out of it. For example, Rain's trip to the diner meant that Bill got a decent meal without asking for it. Asking for a meal would mean submission to human routine, and Bill would probably have laid his head down under an axe before admitting he was anything close to human.

Newton supposed that demons aged much differently from humans and sackpeople and whatnot, and he was already considering the possibility that Bill's mind was still very much in its infancy. Had Bill had any demon parents to tell him what was right and what was wrong? If so, were their views on humanity equally skewed? Did they also act like toddlers, or were they more like adults?

Newton thought that an "adult" demon would be much more successful in destroying the world. He didn't like to think about that.

"Hey, Rain," he called, "if you were forced to watch static for twenty minutes, how would you feel?"

"Oh, I would feel...absolutely tortured," Rain answered, sarcasm in her voice. "Such a terrible thing...oh no...watching static must be horrible."

Admittedly, Rain had always taken to watching static when there was nothing on, but it would be a cold day in hell before she told that to Bill. She dumped the minced garlic into the mixing bowl and proceeded to dice the tomatoes.

Bill was currently occupied by the tip of his finger. For what reason, he was unsure. Maybe it was the longing of his old "finger-gun," his gang had called it. Even a small version of it would have sufficed. He mimicked a shot; two fingers out, the energy gathering, and he pretended to shoot.

A bolt of blue shot upwards out of Bill's fingertip, his hand cocked back with the recoil, and then there was a small hole about the size of a hockey puck in the ceiling. Rain ran out into the living room, a measuring cup in hand.

"What the...Bill, what did you do?!" she asked sternly.

Bill was silent for a moment, stiff as a board, but then he let out a piercing laugh that echoed around the house.

" _It works!_ " he shrieked.

" _What works?!_ " said Rain.

Bill shot another blue bolt at the ceiling, feeling great delight in the knowledge that now he had a weapon. A weapon he could use against other, to protect himself, or just to have fun. His powers were returning; soon he'd be able to do all sorts of things.

There was a sort of emptiness behind it, though. No longer could he think of even aiming his fingers at Rain. Suddenly there was something there. Something strange, a new emotion that pulled his finger away from the trigger.

Sympathy, he realized.

He was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Dennis grabbing the broom and sweeping up the chunks of ceiling that had fallen the the ground. Rain's arms were crossed over her chest, her eyes looking more irritated than smug. He got up from the couch with a huff.

"I'm going to my room," Bill started. "If that's okay with you."

"No, sure, go ahead," Rain replied. Bill walked up the stairs, opened his door, and walked inside.

He hadn't been in here for a couple days. Rain had replaced the mirror in his room with a new one, and all evidence of him smashing the previous one had been properly disposed of. There were still spots of blood on the rug, though that was all that remained.

He sat down right on front of the mirror and gingerly placed his hand on the cold glass. It felt icy, but he could feel the dim reflection of his power, pleasantly warm, smack dab in the middle of his palm. He could feel goosebumps on his skin under the hoodie. He unwrapped the scarf and unzipped the jacket, suddenly feeling too warm.

The realization he'd had just a few minutes ago put the past few days in a new light. Thanking Tad for all he'd done for him, accompanying Rain on her breakfast run, tagging along with Wheatley, Newton, and Dennis…

It wasn't because he was being flattering anymore. It was because an instinct he'd relied on for all of his life had suddenly disappeared. The instinct to rip his enemies apart, the instinct to laugh at people's pain...it was there, still, but it was beginning to seem more…

 _Human._

He brought his fist back again, ready to strike. His hand shook, the stings of the glass from last time still echoing in his nerves. A tear trickled down his face, the memories of his yells vibrating in his skull, Rain's face as she tried desperately to help him…

He brought his fist down.

He couldn't do it.

Instead, he stood up and flipped the mirror over so that the glass faced the other way. He couldn't bare to see his reflection anymore. He sat down on his bed, remembering how satisfying it had been to yell at the stranger at the store, up until the girl had said "not worth your time." Something about that statement had punched him in the gut, had left him fuming.

He wasn't feared anymore. He couldn't even be underestimated because people knew his condition. They knew his powers had been taken away, they knew he was human. The rumors had spread too far, too far...he wasn't worth anyone's time. He was not something to be feared. He was a spider in a wasp nest.

"You're not human."

It wasn't even a fact anymore. It was the exact opposite of the truth. Bill knew that. Now he was too human, feeling sympathetic and emotional. He had depended on his anger for so long, but now it wasn't what made him powerful, it was what made him weaker.

There was a knock.

Rain opened the door, a worried look on her face. "Bill?" she started. "Everything okay?"

"No," he admitted. "How'd you know?"

"I could tell," Rain replied. "You looked so...I dunno, joyful upon realizing that you...that you had a weapon." She shut the door behind her. "And then, suddenly, you looked like something had just...like something clicked."

"Something did," Bill said. "I…" He looked her in the eyes. "Can you keep a secret?"

Rain looked a little surprised, but nodded.

"Do you even know why I hated you?" Bill asked.

"Because I'm human."

"No," he said. "Because you made me question everything I knew."

"...Go on."

"I thought I was born to create chaos," Bill explained. "That destiny was handed to me on a silver platter, but it was always just slightly out of reach. I always failed in some way, and the heroes always won."

"And now you feel like you're...being told that was all a lie?"

Bill nodded. "Like someone's handing me a new destiny and telling me to make something of it."

"Heh," Rain chuckled. "I guess I kind of expected that."

Bill could see things about Rain that he couldn't before. Her deep brown eyes felt so homey all of a sudden. Her hair was always slightly ruffled, as if she could never get it in the right place. But when he looked down at her legs, he saw it.

"Where did you get that?"

"Get what?" Rain asked.

"Your left leg," he breathed. "It's...it's metal."

Indeed it was. It looked like part of an android, except it wasn't covered in the usual synthetic skin. Printed on it was the name "Louis."

Rain looked at him with a smirk. "It's a funny story," she said. "One that would probably require some explaining."

"I've got time."

She sighed. "I...I had a friend...way back when, who knew how to...to make robots, robots of all kinds. She was excellent in combat...but the most hard-hearted person I knew." She sighed. "One day, I was fighting this ninja-robot thing. It wasn't even good at fighting. But…" She gestured to her leg. "Well, it caught me off guard...my friend had to make me one.

"That friend...well, she had only so much family left, and we were both too young to make it on our own. The last of her family was killed and she was forced to return home and try to make a living."

Bill hummed a little. "Were you good?" he asked. "At fighting, I mean."

"Well, I was an ameature then, but I'd say...yeah, I suppose so," Rain answered. She started. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta finish my bruschetta." She opened the door. "Good talk."

And with that, she left.


	14. Chapter 14: Miserable Because Reasons

The next month slowly unearthed a subtle but recognizable routine. Rain rode the bus to Fantasy Landing twice a week to buy groceries, often accompanied by one or two of the others, plus a reluctant Bill. He rode by the group's coattails and refused to go to the store unless Rain promised to let him ride in the cart. When the cart was full, she often asked him to get out and walk, and he did, though sluggishly in order to blow Rain's fuse.

Efforts to do so proved meaningless; Bill could seldom let a couple sparks fly when hounding her on being a bore, anyways (she often countered this by asking if he wanted to go to the hardware store to look at paint chips).

After a few trips, Flug Slys decided to join them in their shopping adventures. Bill found Flug to be of irritating character; he was disinterested in the demon's inquisitive and witty remarks and had grown immune to Bill's usual venom. The scientist had little to say about his previous employer, and Bill would dare say Flug was stuck up.

The very light conversation the two had shared together thus far reminded Bill of a game of golf he had once played with a professor, one who kept relating golf to a puzzle. The demon had long grown tired of both the professor in question and of Dr. Flug and decided that he might as well take a more curious approach.

"So how smart are you really?" Bill asked one evening.

"I have multiple PhDs," Flug had answered.

"Why were you working for Black Hat and not NASA or something?"

"Mostly out of loyalty, but government work has more restrictions in terms of materials and where you get them."

"Why'd you run away?"

"I was tired of being in his shadow and crushed beneath his thumb."

"Are you a psychopath or anything like that?"

"I wouldn't consider myself to be, but it is possible."

Bill gave up shortly after. If he could find no weak spots in Flug's armor, he might as well try and find another way around the back. He had bigger problems to deal with, problems that Rain tended to view with small giggles.

The problem in question was that humans could, and would, catch whatever was in the air around them, whether it be chicken pox or the common cold. Bill's already fragile body had never come face to face with illness, nor had Bill in any other situations. The week he woke up with a headache, a snotty nose, and a queasy stomach, he convinced himself that he was dying and proceeded to try and drown himself in the bathtub, mostly out of sheer spite towards both the world and the Axolotl.

The only thing that stopped him from going unconscious while he was trying to breath in water without gagging was the Hatbox Ghost. Hattie was an entity that Bill had known to be present in the house but never directly acknowledged. The spectre's appearance often varied based on mood; catch him on a good day and he looked close to human but catch him in a bad mood and he looked ragged. That day he looked pained but not terrible. Bill thought he could've been in a better state.

"Are you _trying_ to kill yourself?!" Hatbox had practically screeched, fetching a towel from the wall. Bill had snatched it prematurely and scoffed.

"Don't intend to," he said. "Just don't like being sick." In some sort of second sense, he placed the towel on his head and let the cotton soak up the water in his hair. Hatbox left Bill to his own devices semi-regrettably, and the demon raked a hand across his scalp, taking pleasure in his hair's softness.

It was then that Rain suggested he take a bath.

"A bath?" Bill had echoed. He had already started participating in what humans called personal hygiene. He washed his hands after a bathroom break and changed his clothes when he felt itchy and uncomfortable, but this, if anything, was beyond him. It sounded nice, though, when Rain explained it, especially because one of the bathtubs in the house was a jacuzzi.

"Besides," Rain shrugged, "it might help you feel better with that cold. Loosen up a bit, you know? Just don't waste up all the hot water. I wanna shower later."

She had been right, Bill admitted, because after he dried himself and got redressed, he felt like a new person. He hadn't truly realized how irritating it felt to have all that dirt build-up in his pores until he had gotten rid of it. He resolved to go take a nap, as to starve off whatever remaining sickness was left in his body.

It was then that he had another nightmare.

A creature of shadow had chased his ragged body through an inescapable labyrinth, getting closer with each passing second. Finally, when it got close enough that he could've reached back and touched it, arms made of darkness surrounded and suffocated him. He woke up in a cold sweat, feeling perhaps sicker than he had before his bath.

He spent the rest of the day moaning and groaning on the couch, trying to get someone's attention. Rain felt a little sorry for him, mostly because she knew how new to illness he was. She searched the cabinet for cold medicine but found that the house had none.

"I'll be right back," she assured Bill. "I'm gonna go buy some cold medicine."

"'Snot like I need help from you," he grumbled, "but make it quick. I'm getting chills."

She left the house and walked to the bus stop. She had never had the time to get her driver's license, as she was always out fighting monsters and halting evil in its tracks. Even then, people had just _assumed_ she had a license and never questioned her. Still, Rain knew better than to try her luck with PYFF. They probably knew she had never taken a driver's test, and she had never been fond of breaking rules, either.

When the bus arrived a little later than usual with no one on it, she knew something was a bit off. Still, she paid the fare and hopped into a seat, and quickly noticed, contrary to her first impression, that she was not alone. A young teenage boy sat a couple seats down, fidgeting with the metal fasteners on his overalls. He eyed Rain curiously then stared tentatively out the window at the passing cars.

The bus started to move, lurching up the street in a painfully slow manner. It did not pause at its usual stops, nor did it seem to obey any traffic lights, but since Rain could not see where exactly they were, she didn't care. There was still a small aching in her stomach though, her gut telling her something wasn't quite right about the current transportation arrangements.

Her gut feeling was confirmed when the boy Rain had noticed earlier stood up decisively. They were nowhere near a stop yet, it seemed, because there had been no announcement. The bus lurched ominously, hitting a bump in the road, and the ambience of the air around her seemed to buzz and echo with a strange, unearthly tension.

The boy turned toward her and stared her right in the face, and this time, her heart lurched instead of the bus. Rain stood up slowly, her hands shaking.

"What's going on?" she asked, her eyes flitting towards the windows.

To her surprise, the windows had gone dark. The only thing illuminating the bus' interior now was the soft light of the LEDs above them. Her eyes went wide with fear and shock, and before she could react, an invisible force smacked her against the wall. She fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

A malignant aura emanated from the boy, his face devoid of emotion. His hands were clenched, and he seemed to be concentrated on a spot behind Rain's head. His sandy hair seemed to flutter as if a breeze were passing through, but the air was unbearably humid. His left eye was a deep brown, but his right eye was permanently closed, two scars slashed across.

" _Who are you?!_ " Rain demanded, her voice shaking. White noise echoed across the air, across her mind, as if her shadow were trying to talk. However, something about it told Rain that this was not her shadow.

This was the boy.

 _Kit Harper,_ he spoke, and he raised his hand. Rain was flung back into the wall again, and she crashed into a seat. She got up slowly, not used to fighting anymore. She fumbled around in her jacket for something to counter his attacks with.

She grasped the handle of her dagger, the one she used to fight with. Her breath hitched; she was past fighting, but now it seemed she had no choice. She pulled it out of her jacket pocket decisively.

"Okay, then, 'Kit Harper,'" she started, "do you really wanna fight me?" She laughed nervously. "I mean...I'm a veteran hero. I've got skill."

 _I assure you, I do not want to fight you._

"Then why...why are you fighting me?"

 _Ordered_ , he said. Gravity suddenly reversed, and both Kit and Rain were propelled towards the ceiling. Rain reoriented herself and got onto her feet.

"By who?" she asked. Kit grinned slightly, seemingly happy that she asked the question.

 _The most feared man in the multiverse._

* * *

"Well, call me a blind man, but Rain went out for nothing," Hatbox groaned. "I found some cold medicine."

"Ugh, finally," Bill sighed. "I was beginning to think I'd be sick forever."

"In case you don't know anything about medicine," Hatbox chuckled, "it doesn't _cure_ you. You'll still be sick, yes—"

" _What?!_ " Bill clutched the blanket that surrounded him. "Then what good will it do?!"

"It helps with the symptoms," Hatbox sighed. "You'll feel more energized and less snot-nosed." He took off the cap of the medicine bottle and poured some of the purple liquid into a small measuring cup. "Drink up."

Bill reluctantly took the cup and downed the whole thing in one gulp, then immediately started to cough. "What is this stuff?! It tastes terrible!"

"Medicine isn't supposed to taste good," Hatbox laughed. "It's supposed to taste like medicine. Now suck it up."

Bill gagged a little at the aftertaste, but otherwise stopped complaining. He had turned to a dead TV channel, and he rested his head on his hand as he watched.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hatbox suddenly freeze up. He turned his head the spirit's way. The ghost looked off into the distance for a few seconds but pulled himself back to the present.

"You okay?" Bill said with only a hint of sincerity. Hatbox turned to the demon, a worried look on his face.

"I felt something," he breathed. "I think...I think Rain's in trouble."

"She can handle herself," Bill scoffed.

"I sure hope so," Hatbox replied. "I'm gonna go find her."

He ran out the door, down the street, towards the bus stop, and was halfway there when he saw what was wrong. There was a blue-green wisp, sitting at the stop, that looked vaguely like a bus. It was slightly translucent, and he could see two people hopping around inside one of the cars.

He could clearly see Rain's bleached hair bouncing off the walls as she did, though he could see that she was losing energy fast. Another figure stood very still on the other side, both hands raised in defense, and Hatbox assumed he was using telekinesis.

Hatbox had learned some magic from old books around the mansion's archives, spells that dispelled illusions, created shields, defensive things. He raised his hand and willed the illusion before him to break apart.

The wisp separated almost immediately, and Rain fell to the ground with a teenage boy. The boy got up from the ground quickly, though he looked like he had been cut several times. He ran towards Rain, an enraged look in his eye. Hatbox quickly raised his hand and trapped him in an energy field.

The boy banged his fists against the energy field as hard as he could, and Hatbox thought he heard a strange noise. It sounded almost like speech, but—

 _Let me out, let me oUT, LET ME OUT—_

The screaming quickly turned into a high-pitched wail of white noise that began to give Hatbox a headache. Rain held her head, trying to block out the screeching. Hatbox focused hard on the noise, snapped his fingers, and all was silent.

The boy looked perplexed, and he continued banging on the energy field, concentrated on communicating with Hatbox and Rain.

"He uses telepathy, I would think," Rain breathed, getting up shakily. She stumbled a bit and fell back down, and only then did Hatbox realize how bruised up she was. She had a few minor cuts on her face, too, but it seemed she had run out of energy.

"Who is that?" Hatbox asked worriedly. "What'd he do to you?"

"His name's Kit Harper, apparently," Rain huffed. "Can use telekinesis. He was just throwing me around that bus while I tried to fight back."

"We need to get you back to the house."

"What about him?" she gestured towards Kit, who was still struggling to escape.

"Eh, I'm sure Black Hat will pick him up later," Hatbox grumbled. "Come on, let's get out of here before something else happens."

* * *

 _Click. Click. Click._

Bill groaned irritably. It seemed as though the satellite had decided to start working properly. Every channel they had came in crystal clear; not one channel was dead.

Hatbox had been right; Bill's sinuses had cleared up quite a bit, and if he hadn't known any better, he would've thought he was no longer sick. He would've been pleased, had the past few minutes been any fun. He sighed, rested his head against the couch's arm, and proceeded flipping channels.

The door burst open, making Bill nearly drop the remote. Hatbox walked in, supporting a limping, bruised Rain. Bill's eyes went wide, anger building up in him, yet he didn't know where that anger came from.

"What happened?" Bill asked, but Rain did not answer. Hatbox helped her up the stairs and to her room, leaving Bill to ponder what was going on. The ghost came back down the stairs almost directly afterwards, a look of relief on his face.

"She's alright," he said. "No broken bones or anything. She's just tired and bruised; I think a nap will do her some good."

"How'd she get all bruised up like that?" Bill asked. "I thought she…"

"Was strong enough to take on anything?" Hatbox finished. The demon nodded. "Bill, she's a human being. She's still as delicate as everyone else." He sighed. "There was a boy named...Kit Harper, she said."

Bill recognized the name. "That's...he's a long-time follower of Black Hat," he realized. "Hatbox, you don't think Black Hat is after us, do you?"

"I doubt it," Hatbox chuckled. "That kid was probably just waiting for a hero to catch. I don't think he was looking for anyone specific, cause Rain still got him a couple times. Any employee of the man in black is going to go in knowing their enemy, and if they don't, they're just looking to find a victim."

"How do you know?"

"I study things in my spare time," the spectre replied. "It gets quite boring around the mansion when nobody's there to visit."

Bill sighed. "I'm...gonna go outside," he said.

"Outside?"

"Yeah."

He stood up, put on some shoes, and opened the door. He slammed it behind him, taking pleasure in the noise. It sounded so angry, a perfect replication of his emotions. He sat down on the sidewalk, taking in the sights and stewing in annoyance. How this "Kit Harper" could attack Rain and get away with it was unimaginable to him.

There, on the other side of the street, stood Ima. She had been walking for a while now, taking deep breaths as she did. The past few days had been strange, so she was trying her best to remain calm. If she did, it would go away, the black on her fingertips. They had turned slowly to claws again, and she stuffed them in her pockets when she noticed Bill, the boy who took a liking to slamming doors.

She stopped to look at the demon, knowing that something was troubling him.

Bill's eyes flitted over to Ima, his annoyance only growing. He growled slightly, rolling his eyes. "What are you looking at?" he demanded.

Ima shook a little. "Nothing, nothing," she said. "It's just that…" She bent down a little, in a way that a normal human couldn't. "You're the elf eared kid from a few weeks ago, right? The one slamming the door behind Rain?"

Bill scoffed. "Yeah, I guess, what of it?"

"You look...down. Bill Cipher, yes?" Ima scooted closer to him, just staring at him. Something about her seemed off. Her hands were out of her pockets, claws and all, and the air around her was cold. "A friend was hurt, and you feel as if it shouldn't have happened. I can tell."

"Friend?!" Bill laughed angrily. "As if! And I'm not 'down,' just bored." He looked off into the distance again, trying to piece together the puzzle he was creating in his head.

"Hmm. If that's what you believe," said Ima. "Oh, wait, forgot to introduce myself! I'm Ima." She held out a hand to him, not entirely knowing that her fingers had worn down to claws. Despite the cold air and Bill's attitude, she seemed positive.

Bill looked at her hand hesitantly before shaking it. "Nice to meet you, I guess." He pressed his hands to his face in frustration. "So, what exactly do you want?"

She put her hand to her cheek, before noticing the bits of skin falling off of her fingers. Once she did, she put her hand behind her back. "I was just walking, until I saw and recognized you. And once I did, I thought I'd see what's wrong, since I thought you would need it…" She started to whisper, clearly slightly confused.

Bill scoffed again, this time with a smile. "Alright, then," he chuckled, but there was something malevolent in his gaze. "Well, let me make this clear to you, Ima." He spat her name like it was a disease. "I don't need your help. I don't need _anyone's_ help, and I especially don't need help from Ra—"

He stopped himself, looking shocked at the words that just came out of his mouth.

"From Rain?" Ima finished. She stared at him with a neutral expression, the air around her growing darker. "Then why did you sign up for PYFF? Isn't it a place where people seek help?" She started to walk away but put a claw on Bill's shoulder. "Please don't try to pretend. It only makes everything worse. Take it from me."

"I…"

Ima chuckled. "But okay. If you think angry and mean is a perfect facade, then go ahead!" She leaned closer to him. "But you should stick to that and watch your back." Those last words were filled with concern, annoyance, and malice. "You can't let your guard down once you make a reputation for yourself. After all, there's someone who wants your head!" She walked away, chuckling afterwards. Something about those last sentences were different.

Bill stared after her, those last few words vibrating in his head. _Someone who wants your head…_ Who in the world had she been talking about?

"What exactly do you mean by that?" he asked as she walked away.

Ima stopped and turned around. "Well, let's just say that someone very powerful has a bounty on your—and Rain's—head."

Bill's eyes went wide at those words. He tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. He only watched Ima walk off, knowing immediately who she was talking about.

Kit Harper was no coincidence. Black Hat was after him. He knew he only had so much time before the man in black's forces came crashing to the Earth in retaliation against the heroes.

 _But why now?_

Bill's head jerked up. He knew why Black Hat was doing this. A mixture of spite, revenge, and finally having an excuse to follow through on his plans. Dr. Flug Slys was now living with them, and he had only joined PYFF some time ago.

 _I was tired of being in his shadow and crushed beneath his thumb._

It was only a matter of time.

* * *

 _Darkness._

 _The wind swept against his face as the void around him grew ever closer. His hair gently caressed the sides of his face, and his body felt warm and light. With a gasp, his eyes fluttered open, though it made no difference; he could see nothing._

 _He cursed to himself. He had fallen asleep on the couch again, even after he had tried so desperately not to. Humans needed to sleep, he knew that, but he had become fearful of what the night would bring. He tried to claw himself out of unconsciousness, clutched onto the fabric of his mind and tried to pull himself up, but it was no use._

 _He heard something, deep in the darkness; a low growl, hungry, waiting. He could see something, a tiny flicker of light, far below his feet. Before he could move, however, it disappeared. He huffed, swimming downwards through space to follow it._

 _Before him seemed to be a large, black labyrinth with no ceiling, and on the far end, he could see the glint of light again. The light was slowly fading, becoming nothing the longer it was something. Bill touched the ground lightly, and it was then that he realized his feet were bare. He could feel the cold concrete surface beneath his toes, the chill seeping into his skin._

 _There was a voice from far away, a dark, monstrous voice, but it seemed to hold a sense of good and righteousness. Bill couldn't tell what it was saying; he felt as though he were wearing ear plugs. Still, he felt drawn to it, so he started to walk towards it._

 _"Turn back."_

 _He whipped around to find a creature around his height. It closely resembled Ima, though the screen held no eye. Instead, it showed only static, forever set to a dead channel. Her arms were scarred and bloody, though the rest of her body seemed to hold a human shape._

 _"Turn back," she urged him. "Turn back now, while you still have a chance."_

 _"Why?" Bill asked, though his voice sounded muffled and unrecognizable._

 _Ima seemed to think for a few seconds, before her screen lit up in an array of unearthly colors, colors Bill had only ever seen with his demon eye._

 _"You can't let your guard down once you make a reputation for yourself," she said, a perfect replication of Bill's memory. "After all, there's someone who wants your head!"_

 _She seemed to glitch out of existence, her words bouncing around in Bill's head like a pinball. He pressed his fingers to his temples, a migraine threatening to tear through his mind. Luckily, it faded as soon as it came, and he looked forward towards the path ahead._

 _"Screw her," he muttered._

 _He continued on, his movements slow and painful, as if he were dragging himself through water. He pulled ahead, the light he was focused on slowly dimming. He hoped he could reach it before it faded completely._

 _He didn't quite know how he got there, but there he was, facing the dying light with finality and decisiveness. He reached forward with his left hand, but as soon as he touched the light, it disappeared completely. He reeled back in shock, whispers filling his mind as his nerves buzzed with panic._

 _"Hello there, Cipher."_

 _It was a low and ominous voice, a slimy, evil tint behind the cockney accent. Bill turned slowly to meet its owner. He faced the light of a shimmering monocle and the unearthly green glow of the man's sharp teeth. Black Hat's smile was unbearably familiar as he placed a hand on Bill's shoulder._

 _"It is unfortunate that we should meet like this," the man chuckled, "with you following the heroes' lead as if you were one of them."_

 _"I'm not following their lead," Bill countered, his voice shaking. "I'm...using them. Biding my time. My powers are weak now, but—"_

 _"Oh, save me the excuses," Black Hat snarled. "They've won you over, haven't they?" He examined the gloved nails on his free hand. "Such a shame… That pathetic human vessel has turned you soft, just like_ she _has."_

 _"She…?"_

 _Behind Black Hat stood an uncanny resemblance of Rain, her eyes without pupils, her gentle smile looking sinister. She looked as if she were in a silent movie. Her hands were behind her back, an innocent look on her face._

 _"Bill?" she said, her voice sweet and soft, as if she didn't notice Black Hat at all. The man in black snapped his fingers, and a deafening slice cut the air like paper. Rain's eyes went wide as a slash of blood made its way across her chest, her features turning pale and unearthly. She fell to the ground with a thud, and Black Hat started to cackle._

 _"Don't you see, Bill?" he growled. "Immortal creatures like us don't need the help of such pathetic specimen. Those heroes are weak and childish, running around their little cage like hamsters. They think they can stop a power much larger than themselves."_

 _"R-Rain…"_

 _Bill's hands shot up to his mouth, his mind racing with panic. Her name had tumbled out without any thought, and it seemed Black Hat could sense this._

 _"Oh, come now, don't tell me you actually_ care _for her," he snarled. "I'd come to think you resented her presence." The man sighed, and Bill could've sworn he heard a hint of twisted disappointment. "I thought you had potential, long ago. You destroyed without thought and killed without mercy. You and I were not so different back then."_

 _"I don't...I don't care for anyone!" Bill insisted. "I'm still the same demon I was before. Nothing's changed." Despite the statement, some part of him knew Black Hat was right._

 _Black Hat smiled menacingly, his teeth glinting in unseen light, almost as if they gave off light all on their own. His form began to twist and churn until he became nothing but a black wisp, but then it began to piece itself back together. Bill's own form stared back at him, wearing much more formal clothing, his eyes filled with malice and destruction._

 _"Don't you remember what you used to be?" his double snarled. "We used to make such a good team." A twisted smile formed on his cheeks. "You know, Bill Cipher and his need for destruction."_

 _"I never changed," Bill pleaded, his voice nearly a whisper. "Never. I'm not…I'm not a hero."_

 _"No, you aren't," his double sighed. "But you most certainly aren't a villain."_

 _In one quick motion, his doppleganger's jaw unhinged, revealing rows of neon green teeth. Darkness dripped from his lips, the air urgent and rushed as Bill struggled to squirm away—_

He woke up in a cold sweat, tears running down his face as the echoes of his dream faded from his vision. Goosebumps littered his skin, sweat covering his brow. He was in his room, sitting upright in his bed.

 _It was just a dream…_

No matter how much he told himself this, he couldn't shake the feeling that he had just conversed with the real Black Hat. He shivered at the prospect of it and elected to stay up the rest of the night.


	15. Chapter 15: Thank You, Kanye, Very Cool

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I already told you," Rain sighed, shaking her head. "I'm inviting someone over. Their name is Morgan and you're gonna make an effort to get along with them." She plopped down on the couch next to him, closing her eyes a bit.

It was around midday, and the sun was warm and bright, shining directly over the hills off in the distance. Bill stared out the living room's large window, swallowing a spoonful of mushy cereal. He had put it aside earlier for ten minutes before finally deciding to eat it. He grimaced at its texture and smoothed down his shirt for the thirteenth time that morning.

"You want that shirt ironed or something?" Rain asked, noticing Bill's discontent at all the wrinkles. "Hatbox is ironing stuff today."

"Sure," Bill muttered, starting to take it off.

"Oh my— Not right now!" Rain yelled. "At least act a little decent!"

"Hey, I thought you were the actor here!" Bill countered, pointing a finger at her.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind." He looked down at his soggy cereal. "Why's this all floppy-like?"

"It's cereal," Rain chuckled. "It gets mushy if you leave it in the milk too long."

"That's stupid."

"I know, I know," Rain sighed. She gently pried the bowl out of Bill's hands and set it on the coffee table. She took a quick look at the time. "You feelin' any better after that nap?"

"Kind of, why?"

"I was thinking of going to Downtown Fiction to get some lunch," Rain answered. "There's a...um, a really nice pizza place down there that I haven't been to in a while. Wanna come with?"

"I just had a bowl of cereal," Bill argued.

"You took one bite, Bill."

He raised an eyebrow. "This a date or something?" he teased.

"Hell no," Rain chuckled. "You're too brotherly for something like that."

The demon looked at Rain suddenly with a rather puzzled expression, and she realized her mistake. She fiddled with her fingers and looked down at her shoes.

"You remind me of my younger brother is all," she corrected, twiddling her thumbs. "Forget I said anything." She stood up and grabbed a black hoodie hanging from the coat rack. "You wanna go or not?"

Bill groaned half-heartedly. "Fine," he answered. "How do we get there?"

"There's a light rail station...not too far from here," Rain answered. "It'll take us right downtown, and then we only have to walk...eh, three blocks, maybe."

"Great, let's go," Bill shrugged.

"Nuh uh," Rain started, "you're still in pajamas."

Bill looked down at himself to find that, yes, he was still in pajamas. He was wearing a white shirt and Rain's old green PE shorts (which Bill had her wash before he even considered wearing them as pajamas).

"Do I have to change into real clothes?" Bill groaned. "These pass as real clothes, don't they?"

"They have my real name on them."

"Wait, really? Where?"

"Don't look at it!"

"Fine, fine," Bill sighed. "I'll put on real clothes, don't worry."

He raced up the stairs to his room, coming back down wearing a sky blue tee and denim jeans, accompanied by a light jacket. Rain smiled, got off the couch, and opened the door.

They walked down to the light rail station, and Rain grabbed a free newspaper from one of the stands. "Bounty Hunters Threaten Security," it read. She chuckled, turning the page. "Invaders In Beach City!" "Seahawks Beat Kansas City!" "Are Clowns The True Killers?"

"Garbage news as always," Bill scoffed, reading over Rain's shoulder. "'Are Clowns The True Killers?' Are they serious? I've lost track of how many similar headlines I've read. It's ridiculous." He looked at the time on Rain's watch. "When's the bus gonna get here?"

"Any minute now," Rain hummed. "Maybe you should just sit down and relax instead of trying to rush everything."

"But everything you humans do goes by so fast," Bill argued. "Honestly, I can barely grasp it. Your lives whizz on by without you. You live eighty years or so and then you die, without taking one look at the space you inhabit."

"Well, consider yourself one of us now," Rain grunted. "For us, life is slow and tedious and we busy ourselves just to pass the time where nothing happens. Maybe you should enjoy the little things more often."

"The little things?" Bill raised an eyebrow, though his eyes sparked with mild interest. "Like what?"

"I dunno," Rain shrugged. "The quirks of life… The melody of someone's voice. The tiny specks of color in someone's eyes. The way flowers dance to the wind's song."

Bill groaned. "That's stupid," he argued. "Nobody's voice has a melody, I don't see nothing in people's eyes 'cept for emotion, flowers don't dance, and the wind doesn't sing."

Rain looked at Bill for a moment, a sad look in her eyes. "You don't notice it 'cause you whizz past it so fast. Haven't you ever taken a pause, taken a look at...y'know, 'the space you inhabit' or whatever?"

"Don't use my words against me," the demon snarled, pointing a finger her way. "I've lived longer than this universe has existed. There's nothing to be seen in mankind or this planet. They're all a waste and you know it."

Rain sighed, looking down at the pavement. The crowd clamored at the edge of the sidewalk, the sound of the light rail approaching, it's gears screeching as it came to a halt in front of them. Rain tapped Bill on the shoulder and they both got onto the train.

"You might wanna hold onto something," Rain advised, grabbing one of the metal poles.

"Why should I listen to you?"

Bill soon found out, as the train lurched forward rather suddenly, causing him to fall onto someone else.

"I'm so sorry!" Rain apologized, chuckling nervously. "This is his first time on this thing, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Bill looked upwards to find himself staring at the young man he had run into at the store the other day. He backed himself up and grabbed a vacant metal pole, cursing to himself.

"No, no, it's okay," said Dean (that's what Bill remembered his name being, anyways). "We all do that every once in a while." He looked rather apologetic, sparks of sympathy in his eyes.

Wait, sparks of sympathy? Am I really listening to Rain's advice or am I just noticing these things because I'm human?

"I'm Dean, by the way," said the teen, holding out a hand to shake. He looked maybe a year older than Rain, and a lot taller, too.

"I'm Rain," she replied, shaking Dean's hand.

"As in Rain N. Thirteen?"

Rain's eyes lit up with surprise. "Uh, y-yes, actually!" she answered, looking a little proud of herself. "How did you know?"

"Well, you're a well-known hero, aren't you?" Dean asked. "I think I first heard of you when I went to visit Caulderon. It's a lovely city."

"Ah, yeah, I've been there," Rain chuckled. "There's a restaurant there that one of my old friends owns. Where are you headed today?"

"I'm headed to the pizza place downtown."

"Wait, that's where we're headed," Bill interrupted. "You ain't spyin' on us or anything, are you?" He said the last part humorously, chuckling to himself.

"Pffft, no," Dean laughed. "Actually, a good friend of mine works there. We'll get there around when her break starts, I think." He looked at his watch. "Yep, right around one o'clock, she said. I'll introduce you guys to her, if you want."

Bill looked between the two. "No, it's—"

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Rain exclaimed. "I don't know a whole lot of people anymore, just because I used to move around so much. It'll be great to meet some new people!" She gestured to Bill. "This is Bill by the way."

"Nice to meet you," said Dean. Bill muttered a simple "hi," looking down at his shoes.

The train lurched to a stop and the doors opened. "This is our stop," Dean announced, starting to walk out.

The three of them started to walk down the sidewalk, heading towards the pizza place. Dean and Rain kept chattering with each other, which gave Bill an excuse to zone out of the conversation. His thoughts wandered to Dean, as his thoughts seemed to do with new people.

It became clear to Bill that he had never seen this Dean character before. Not like Rain, who he had never seen the face of. No, he never had the notion that Dean even existed before this. His aura was strangely unfamiliar, as if it belonged to someone else. The aura was slightly magical (though whose wasn't), which meant that Dean must've known some simple spells.

Other than that, he seemed awfully charming and kind, for a human. His voice was bright and cheerful, and he always seemed to be avoiding words that were offensive. He talked a lot with his hands, which made Bill notice that his hands were slightly scarred. He didn't notice it long, though, as Dean shoved them into his pockets nervously as soon as he realized his hands were out.

Bill tuned back into the conversation when the talk turned to Dean's friend.

"So how long has she been working there?" Rain asked.

"About a year, I think."

"And I don't think you told me her name…?"

"Saimin."

Rain stopped dead in her tracks, her face draining of color. She looked down at the sidewalk with a pained expression, looking like she was about to cry. The light in her eyes had died.

"S-Saimin?" she whispered. "Saimin Louis?"

"You know her?" Bill asked.

Rain looked up rather suddenly, realizing that Bill was still there. She nodded, then shook her head.

"Knew her." She glanced down at her robotic left leg, guilt and shame in her eyes.

"Hey, Dean!"

Rain's eyes went wide as her head whipped around. They were right in front of the pizza place now, and Saimin Louis had just walked out.

"Yo, good timing!" she laughed. "It's break time. Who'd ya bring with?"

Saimin's eyes met Rain's, but rather than Rain's look of sadness and regret, Saimin's face lit up with recognition, joy, and relief. Rain avoided her gaze almost immediately, instead looking down at her black converse. Saimin looked to Dean, as if she couldn't believe what was right in front of her, and Bill was under the impression that she wanted to give Rain a hug.

"Why don't you guys come inside?" she asked instead. "I'm starving." She started heading towards the door, urging the others to follow.

The pizza place smelled like a pizza place should: slightly smoky, slightly spicy, but mostly like baked flour and dough. Maybe ten or fifteen people were inside, either in line or eating their pizza. It seemed humble, yet lively and joyous all at once. Saimin walked them to a booth, smiling the whole way.

"I'll just get half cheese, half pepperoni, if that's okay with you," she said once they got settled.

"Let me pay this time, Saimin," Dean interrupted. "I insist. You need to save for rent, anyways."

"Dude, I work here, it's free."

Dean blinked, looking as though he'd just had a revelation. "Right, sorry, I forgot."

"Like, honestly, Dean, how do you forget this? You know me. We hang out." Saimin got in line behind the last person, humming a tune to herself. Rain looked up awkwardly from the table, her eyes filled with anxiety.

 _It's her._

Bill's eyes darted to the mirror on the wall, where Rain reflection sat, looking at the three of them. Dean appeared not to have heard it, but Rain jumped a little at the voice. The reflection looked mildly startled as well, as if seeing Saimin had awakened it somehow.

 _I thought you said we'd never see her again. I thought you said she hated us._

Rain glanced at the mirror nervously, not wanting to say anything in front of a crowd. She whispered something like "be quiet," and her reflection scoffed and silenced itself.

"What was that?" Dean asked.

"Nothing."

Saimin came back holding a number card, which she put on the table, and a bottle of Dr. Pepper. She sat next to Bill with a small smile.

"Everything's ordered," she said. "You guys can go to the fridge and get drinks or whatever."

Dean, Rain, and Bill got up and headed over to the fridge next to the mirror. Dean pulled out a Sprite and Rain grabbed a coke, but Bill stayed behind, looking at the different drinks. He couldn't remember what each one was supposed to taste like, much less which ones people preferred. He shrugged and chose the pink lemonade, and was starting to head back when Rain's reflection piped up again.

 _Does she seem upset?_ it said. _Rain, I mean._

"Yeah," Bill answered. "She seems pretty anxious."

 _Keep an eye on her. Does Saimin look mad? I can't tell from over here._

Bill glanced at Saimin. "No, she just looks happy to see Rain."

A sigh. _Good. That'll cause less trouble. Rain gets all weepy when she's mad or anxious. Saimin in a good mood means one less thing I have to deal with._ A pause. _Look, human names don't suit me all too well, but sometimes Rain calls me Storm._

"Fitting."

Storm scoffed, and Bill walked back to the table. Rain glared at her reflection, then at Bill, slightly shocked at the fact that the two had conversed. The table was now situated in such a way that Saimin and Rain were now sitting side by side, which made her even more nervous than before.

Bill and Dean had started talking to one another, and Rain noticed that, for once, Bill seemed relatively content with himself. His eyes were free of malice or anger, his smile was genuinely joyful, and he was talking much more than he had been earlier.

"Hi."

Rain jumped a little when Saimin spoke, and the other girl chuckled a little.

"Don't worry, it's fine," she assured Rain. "I...I'm really glad you're back."

Rain's eyes lit up. "You...you are?"

"I missed you, y'know," said Saimin, rubbing the back of her neck. "Just… A lot of stuff was going through my mind when...when I got the news of my aunt."

"I'm sorry about her, Saimin."

Saimin sighed. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I… Well, you know me, too stubborn and pessimistic for my own good." She leaned back into the chair. "Listen, there's been… I've fallen into a situation. You know about Black Hat?"

"Heard of him," Rain answered. "Why? What happened?"

"He's after you. He's got a gigantic bounty over your head and Bill's head, too," Saimin explained. "He hired me to go after heroes." Rain started to open her mouth, but Saimin interjected. "But I'm not gonna do it! I'm not letting him get you. Who knows what the man in black would do if he got his hands on you. On anyone, for that matter."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Well, if I say no to his face, he'd kill me for sure." She crossed one leg over the other and clasped her hands together. "But if I fail, he'll let me off the hook with a portion of the reward. He knows my financial situation." Saimin stared Rain dead in the eyes. "Now you have to promise me you'll beat up any villain who's dead set on claiming the bounty. You got me?"

"Sure, Saimin," Rain chuckled. "I'll keep an eye out. And if we're forced to fight...eh, we'll just mock battle or whatever. Like old times."

A waiter came to their table, placing a stack of plates and a pizza in the middle. "Aww, nice!" Bill exclaimed. "I'm starving!" He snatched a plate from the stack and served himself some pepperoni pizza. "I tell ya, this human food is the bomb!" He took one bite, then immediately yelped at how hot it was.

The rest of Saimin's break was spent just like that, and when she returned to work, the fun seemed to be over. They all hopped on the bus, Rain and Bill returning home, unaware of what would soon await them.

* * *

"Why do they even show Coyote and the Roadrunner anymore?" Bill asked curiously. "It's such an old show."

"I mean, this is the 'old show' channel, perfect for watching old shows," Rain chuckled, phrasing it like she was a news anchor.

The door was slammed open by Hatbox, who stepped inside and dropped his groceries on the tile floor. "Villains," he breathed, "right outside. Are we holding the fort or are we fighting?"

"Hell yeah, we can fight," Bill exclaimed eagerly. "It's been a while. I'll enjoy this."

"I'll have what he's having," Rain commented jokingly, getting up from the couch.

Bill, Rain, Flug, and Hatbox rushed outside a couple seconds later, while Newton, Wheatley, and Dennis stayed inside. Before them were Saimin, Dimentio, and Jasper, all eagerly awaiting the heroes, each for their own reasons.

"Ah, so four heroes come to fight us all at once," Dimentio chuckled. "Well, two heroes and two traitors, I should say."

Bill heard Flug grumble angrily.

"Saimin? Want to get this started?" the jester asked.

"Hey, Rain," said Saimin, paying Dimentio no mind.

"Yo," Rain replied, doing finger-guns. Dimentio groaned and shot a ball of energy at the girl, causing Rain to dodge with a shriek.

With his newly found powers, he shot his finger-gun quickly at Saimin, who dodged his albeit lazy shots with ease. Rain had started fighting Jasper, who threw fire left and right in an attempt to deter her. Flug and Hatbox tried to knock Dimentio out of the sky, which didn't appear to be working.

Bill decided, once Newton had ran out to join them with an array of power-ups, that he would switch his aim over to the magician. Dimentio's back was turned to him, as the jester was preoccupied by Hatbox's attempts to trap him in an energy field. Bill aimed his index finger at Dimentio's head and pulled the trigger.

He missed by just an inch and hit his cap instead, right as Saimin decided to fight Hattie and Flug. She was avoiding fighting Rain altogether and Bill knew why, but he shook his head and cleared his thoughts. He focused back on the purple and yellow jester, who's masked face seemed to hold eye-contact with Bill the moment he found himself staring at the master of dimensions.

Bill could tell that the jester was smirking behind his mask, an unsettling smirk that made the demon much prefer Rain's over, well, whatever this was. There was a look of recognition in Dimentio's eyes, or really his mask's eyes, but how Bill could discern that was lost to him.

"Bill Cipher," Dimentio chuckled, eyeing the demon for the first time. "What an honor it is to meet your puny self. I recognized you from the unearthly lights that sparkle in your eyes." He hovered nearer to him, causing Bill to revolt just a bit. "You are looking more futile than usual, I must say, but it is an honor nonetheless. My name is Dimentio."

"What do you want, Demenci— Dimin— whatever your name is," Bill spat. "What do you want?"

"You seem to have singed my cap," Dimentio stated simply. "I was wondering if it was truly me you were aiming for." He said this with such an air of smugness that Bill was sure he was joking.

"Erm...well, yeah," Bill answered, "of course."

"Oh, what a pity," Dimentio lied. "I was hoping we would be on the same side when we met...I guess this is not the case!" A ball of purple and yellow energy combusted in his hand. "And now we must duel, like two gleaming banjos on a moonlit stoop!"

Bill yelped, twisting himself to the side to avoid the energy burst. He shot at Dimentio again, who laughed when he missed. He rolled out of the way of another burst of energy, wondering why the projectiles were coming from two directions.

" _I wonder if you can pierce this illusion,_ " Dimentio teased.

Bill had to be imagining things. Now there were two jesters, one attacking from either side. Six bursts of energy headed his way this time, and one barely singed his left ear as he moved out of the way once again.

He let the energy build up in his fingertip again and shot, not very sure where he was aiming. He must've hit something, though, because one of the Dimentios disappeared in a flash of light, while the other recoiled in pain and shock.

"Ha! I actually got you!" Bill laughed. "Now that's a shocker!"

" _Yes, you seem to have,_ " Dimentio hissed, rage lacing his voice like hot glue. Bill stepped back just a bit when he got a closer look at the jester. Instead of the purple and yellow cap that had once stood upon the magician's head, there was now a head full of lavender hair, two gloved hands covering one side of his face.

A box of glass encased Bill, and he shot a couple times at the enclosure to find that the projectiles were absorbed as soon as they hit the surface of his cage. He heard Dimentio chuckle darkly, and fear knotted itself in his throat almost immediately.

He was trapped.

"You and I are not so different, you know," said Dimentio menacingly. "Reflections of each other, perhaps. We have both had the pleasure of destroying worlds with the snap of a finger, had the privilege of having people kneel at our feet, had the wisdom of what was to come and being able to manipulate people to get it to happen according to our plans."

"Once, maybe," Bill hissed.

"Yes, but it seems you've lost the will to follow through with those types of actions, Mr. Cipher," Dimentio continued. "Sympathy is a mortal feeling that you seem to now harbor. So, while I go and fight your so called 'friends,' you will stay here and not cause me any trouble."

The jester turned around to reveal that the left half of his mask had been shattered by the blast of energy Bill had shot his way. Underneath the segment was pale, unearthly skin that seemed a shade of lilac, and his left eye seemed to be completely blackened, save for a singular, yellow pupil that made Bill shiver. The malevolent smirk on the magician's face made any bravery Bill had left scurry away.

"Let me out," Bill demanded, despite the fear he felt.

"Oh, I'm afraid I cannot do that, Mr. Cipher," Dimentio threatened in an all-too-sweet voice. "Children with bad behavior must be put in timeout, you know."

Bill's eye twitched, his jaw dropping the slightest. As Dimentio left to fight the other heroes, Bill screamed at the jester, yelling threats and swears and desperate, angry pleas of freedom. Dimentio did not pay any attention to this, of course, he just hovered nonchalantly over to his "companions." He fixed his mask with magic, throwing spells at the other heroes.

* * *

"It wasn't fair!" Bill shouted, plopping onto his bed with a huff. "He called me a child! A child! Of all the insults… And then he left me in there! Left me helpless and trapped until he was done fighting!"

 _Oh, suck it up, you big baby…_

"Storm," Rain started, looking at the mirror, "Dimentio trapped Bill in a glass box and wouldn't let him out." She grumbled a swear under her breath. "I swear, when I get my hands on that stupid jester, I'm gonna rip him to smiley clown shreds." She closed the door to Bill's bedroom, sitting down on the end of the bed.

Bill had flipped the mirror back over once he had gotten used to Storm's voice in his head, a decision that Rain resented but accepted. He had been complaining about Dimentio for the past couple of minutes, and though Storm was having none of it, Rain was agreeing with everything the blonde said.

 _Look, Freckles, he's a clown. Why are you taking him so seriously?_

"Because… Because…" Bill groaned, rubbing his eyelids with the palms of his hands. "I don't know!"

Storm leaned towards Rain. _He's scared of clowns._

" _Am not!_ "

"Alright, that's _enough!_ " Rain yelled, becoming exhausted. "It's getting late, I'm exhausted, and I'm sure we can all beat up Dimentio tomorrow. We beat them today, we can rest now." She started to get up. "Go to sleep, Bill."

"I don't sleep," Bill stated simply. "My mind has the scary capability of being dark and demented."

"You're afraid of your dreams?"

He lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Yes," he said quietly.

Rain sighed, opening the door. "Goodnight, Bill." She turned off the light and left, leaving Bill alone in the darkness.

He would've never thought himself afraid of the dark.

The shadows seemed to dance across the walls, the clothing bought recently, stacked in small piles, seemed to morph into a monster of shadow. He looked away, then looked back, and the clothes were clothes again. He scoffed at himself for being scared in the first place, turning back over in his bed.

The mirror was vacant now, with Rain gone, but Bill swore he saw something move in the reflection. Suddenly he could feel the stare of a thousand eyes crawling across his back, and a drop of sweat rolled down his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut, the darkness seeming to fold around him.

 _Emptiness surrounded him, the feel of the ocean slowly drifting in around him like a long forgotten memory. This time, he sat atop the water, floating on the surface. His head brushed against smooth sand as he washed ashore, his eyes fluttering open._

 _Bill awoke to find that he had been company of a rather lively beach party for what could've been minutes or maybe hours. It was a nice change of pace for once, being surrounded by music and towels instead of darkness and shadow. He had put on some shades a while ago, he couldn't really recall, sipping some sort of cocktail out of half a coconut._

 _It was...surprisingly exciting, for a dream._

 _A waiter came by, seemingly from nowhere, to ask Bill if he wanted a refill. Bill hadn't even noticed he had finished the drink, but he supposed he said yes, though in an odd, hazy sort of way, as the waiter had already started walking off before he could remember saying anything. He shrugged and looked around._

 _There was Ima, sitting on the sand, simply staring into the horizon. Even she didn't know how she kept getting into other people's dreams, though she was pretty used to this sort of thing by now. Not far from her was some sort of creature that seemed to be human, with an eye and a mouth, but it was distorted to the point of being unrecognizable. Ima and the creature seemed to be in sync with each other._

 _Bill's eyes lingered a little too long on Ima, and his heart nearly stopped when they made eye contact. He tried to look for someone else to glance at, scoffing to himself, but he instead found himself staring at the distorted figure beside her. He looked away again, hoping neither had seen him._

 _Ima's gaze lingered on Bill as well, but the distorted figure was the first to speak._

 _"Hello, Bill."_

 _Bill froze at the figure's voice, already cursing his luck. He turned slowly to face the two, a look of hatred and fear on his face. There was something awfully familiar about the distorted one. It reminded him of himself, he realized._

 _"Hello, Ima," he grimaced._

 _Ima only waved as the figure continued to speak. "How are you enjoying your dream?"_

 _"It's pleasant…?" Bill shook his head. "Ugh, nevermind that! What the hell are you doin' here? Isn't this MY dream?"_

 _The two exchanged glances before turning to Bill. "Humans usually have easily broken dreams," they said together. "Anyone with enough determination or luck can enter." Ima scooted a little closer to Bill, or maybe a little farther from the figure. For some reason, nobody on the beach noticed the three of them._

 _Bill looked a little spooked._

 _The waiter from before returned with a drink, which Bill sipped once before looking at it in disgust. "Hey, this isn't my—" He looked around, but the waiter had disappeared. He turned back towards Ima. "So...tell me, Ima, what's...that thing next to you?" He gestured to the distorted figure beside her. He shivered a little, sensing the thing's strange aura._

 _Ima seemed to snap out of a trance, turning around in a panic. The thing seemed to slither out of sight, its body distorting as it left. "That's...that's something...someone close to me. A part of me, if you call it that."_

 _Bill nodded, suspicion in his gaze. He took a sip of his drink, then immediately spat it back out. "Bleh. Tastes kinda like poison or somethin'..." He tossed it to the ground, the coconut disappearing as if it were lying on quicksand. "I wouldn't try the food here...tastes like sand." He paused, then groaned. "Why...why is THAT what I always say?! This human sympathy is getting the better of me."_

 _Ima looked at the waiter, then back at the sand. She stepped onto a towel, not quite sure if the beach would consume her like it did the drink. Other than that, she seemed calm._

 _"Feeling sympathy does not mean weakness, Bill," she said. "It means that you are still alive."_

 _Bill scoffed. "I've been alive longer than this universe has existed, and this is the first time I've ever been sympathetic." He started to walk away._

 _That's when Ima noticed it. It was a dream, of course, but it was unnerving. Bill seemed to be the only thing leaving prints in the sand, as not even she made a single mark. She stepped in the sand once, just to be sure, and found that her foot left no track. It seemed that Bill had noticed it, too, but he paid no mind. He paid no attention to the sand, to the fake people around him._

 _He paid no attention to the party, the unaware audience that couldn't see how rapidly the tide had gone out. It was like he had become one of the party-goers, unaware, oblivious, an illusion like the rest of them. It was as if he was losing touch._

 _Ima put a hand on his shoulder to bring him back as she looked around. Something was wrong. Something wasn't right. She looked at Bill, who had snapped back to reality._

 _"Maybe it's because you're human?" she said. Her form seemed to distort as if something in her was panicking._

 _"Eh," Bill shrugged, but now that Ima had pulled him back, he could feel it, too, the darkness that hung over the place. The sky was becoming overcast and the people were leaving the vicinity. "Maybe it's just getting a little cloudy…"_

 _He paused, taking notice of how quickly the tide had dried out. He looked up at the horizon, his eyes going wide, his face draining of color as he finally noticed it._

 _A gigantic wave was rushing towards them._

 _The people on the beach walked casually into the ocean, sticking to the sand as if they weighed a thousand pounds. They sunk to the bottom and walked unhindered until they were out of sight. Bill was about to tell Ima to run before he realized the situation they were in._

 _This was an island. There was nowhere to run._

 _This was a dream, Ima told herself, this was a dream, and yet she couldn't help but panic. "A tsunami," she whispered, fear lacing itself around her throat, seeming to choke her._

 _"Where did everyone else go?!" Bill shouted, panic setting in. When fear struck him like this, it was hard to remember that this wasn't reality. "How do we get out?!" The wave was fast approaching, the wind cold and harsh, the sun now blocked out by the clouds._

 _Ima shook her head. "This is a dream! Maybe if we concentrate, we'll break the dream apart!"_

 _Bill scowled. "And why should I listen to you?!"_

 _The wave hit before he had time to react, the force of the water taking the umbrellas, the towels, the trees… Everything, it seemed, except Ima and Bill. They stuck to the sand like the other people had, as if this was but strong winds._

 _Bill tried to speak, tried to scream, but his voice was muffled, drowned out by the water. Ima looked around, her body seeming to change the instant the water had hit them. Her form distorted, showing a tall, twisted, bony creature, and she seemed to calm down, unaware of what had just happened._

 _A shadow pierced the darkness, a shadow that made Bill freeze, his trust in Ima suddenly multiplying. He back up towards her, a terrified and hate-filled look in his eyes. "Why are you here?" he wanted to say, but he couldn't get the words out right._

 _Ima tilted her head until she recognized who the shadow belonged to, her fists clenching and her pulse quickening. Only when she tried to say the name of the person did she know their voices were muffled._

 _"Hello, there, Cipher," Black Hat snarled. "How funny we should meet again. I see you've made a new friend."_

 _Bill's eyes narrowed, his arms raised defensively. Whether it was because of will power or something else entirely, his voice came through loud and clear. "I'm not scared of you," he insisted, thought it was clear he was terrified._

 _Ima's eyes narrowed. "What business led you here, Black Hat?" Even though her voice was slightly muffled, it could still be heard. It was hoarse and brash, as if it pained her just to speak._

 _"Same reason you are here, Marima," Black Hat chuckled. "Humans usually have easily broken dreams." He gestured to Bill. "He is no different. Anyone with enough determination or luck can enter." He fixed Bill with a level gaze. "Have you changed your mind yet, Cipher? Are you certain of which side you are on?"_

 _Ima looked at Bill, and then at Black Hat. She set her gaze on Bill. "Bill? Did...did you two have a talk about 'sides,' or is he just trying to mess with you?"_

 _"He did," Bill clarified. "And you know what? I've decided." He stepped forward defiantly, and Black Hat's smile faltered. "I'm not like you. I'll never join you. I'm not what you think I am."_

 _Black Hat simply stared at the two of them for a couple seconds before smirking menacingly. "We'll see."_

 _The waves washed away, leaving only Ima and Bill on an empty, desolate island. Bill fell onto his knees, grasping the sand as it slipped through his fingers._

 _"What's wrong with me, Ima?" he asked desperately. "Why am I like this? I long for attention then push people away...I'm hopeless." He squeezed his eyes shut. "How can I be so certain of which side I'm on like this?"_

 _"Hmm...human emotions are complicated," Ima answered. "You're too prideful, too afraid, to make actual relationships with others because you don't want to accept that you're human. But if you're so certain as to stand up to Black Hat like that, then maybe you're on the side you say you are."_

 _Bill sighed. "Maybe you're right." He drug his fingers through the sand like a child writing their name on the beach. "I don't understand anything about this stupid human world." He looked at Ima, a sad look in his eyes. "You know what? Rain told me the strangest thing today. Something like...I dunno, voices having melodies, people's eyes having specks of light, flowers dancing...it didn't make all that much sense, honestly."_

 _Ima knelt down beside Bill. Her form flickered back to normal. "You may not understand this world now, but it takes time to fully understand why colors have sounds, or why tastes have emotions. Or anything, really. You'll understand eventually." She patted Bill's head._

 _Bill hummed a little, a sort of silent "thanks." Ima seemed to smile, the air around her warm and comfy like a blanket._

 _The feeling didn't last, however. Something settled in Ima's mind suddenly, and something crawled into the area behind them. Bill felt whatever that thing was, and he turned his head anxiously._

 _The 'thing' was the distorted figure from earlier, almost resembling Ima now. Ima backed up as the figure crawled closer, the area around it turning dark._

 _"...What exactly is that?" Bill whispered, his face going white. It reminded him of Rain's reflection, but this thing seemed more malevolent._

 _Ima didn't seem to hear him. "I can't go back. I won't go back," she said, over and over under her breath. The thing came closer, stopping only when it got close to Bill. It smiled from ear to ear, seeming to take pleasure in Ima's panic. Bill stepped back, more in defense of Ima than in defense of himself._

 _"Who...what are you?" he asked it, his expression hard._

 _The thing pointed to Ima, opening its mouth. Nothing but static came out, but it sounded something like English._

 _"Her. To become one again. Whole." Its smile only grew as Ima started to flicker to a form more accurate. "To stop the lying."_

 _Bill's own human form seemed to be coming apart just a bit, his hands and arms burnt from magic used long ago. "Y-You can't have her," he said defiantly, his bravery from earlier seeming to drip into his very soul._

 _The thing's smile seemed to morph into a large frown. Time seemed to stand still as its head tilted, the static it spoke next as ear splitting as a sonic boom._

 _"WE MUST BECOME WHOLE, ONE PERSON," it screamed. "I CANNOT BE LOCKED UP, PUSHED AWAY, NOT AGAIN… SHE DOES NOT HAVE A CHOICE." The creature started to walk towards Ima again, screaming unrecognizable nonsense. The whole place seemed to change with Ima's fear._

 _Bill's voice was near muffled, but Ima swore she heard him say, with clear, unhindered confidence, "This is a dream! We can break it up with enough willpower!" He grabbed Ima's arm, pulling her away. Ima followed Bill, the creature continuing down a seemingly self-assigned path towards the ocean. The island and the sky seemed to crack. She tried to forget the fear, break the dream, and free them from the evil one._

 _"Come on, come on, come on…" Bill squeezed his eyes shut, focusing hard on blocking out the screaming and breaking the dream up. The world around them shattered like a snowglobe, the sky seeming to fall._

 _The thing seemed to stop in its tracks as it looked up at the sky. It smiled, receding into the void that was once the sky. Soon, everything broke, revealing the void between the dream and waking life. As everything crashed around them, the sand and the ocean seeming to phase in and out of reality as the void surrounded them, Bill felt the familiar tug of reality struggling to awaken him._

 _He turned to Ima, a soft smile on his face. "I forgot how many beings have demons to fight, too," he said simply. "I guess I was one of them."_

 _Ima simply hugged Bill as the screaming stopped. The void was starting to crack as well, and Bill could see dim light hiding behind it. He could hear a muffled voice from beyond, one that was calling his name. Ima faded away into the waking world, and Bill smiled._

 _"See ya, Ima," Bill muttered, his eyes fluttering open._


	16. Chapter 16: Press F To Pay Respects

"You looked like you were having a nightmare," Rain started, crossing her arms. She made direct eye contact with Bill, her worry from two seconds ago having been replaced by irritation.

"So?" Bill answered indifferently.

"You were tossing and turning in your sleep."

"And?"

" _And_ I wanted to see if you were okay."

"I already told you to shove it," Bill spat. "One universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, eight-hundred and nine islands, two-hundred and four countries, and countless universes and dimensions," he crossed his arms, blowing a stray hair out of his face, "and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you."

Rain scoffed, standing up and throwing open the curtains. Bill hissed at the sunlight streaming into the vacancy of his room, and Rain laughed a little.

"What are you, a vampire?" she joked.

"I'm a _demon_."

"Right, right."

The morning was warm and sunny, as usual for Fiction Frontier, and the air held the smell of eggs and toast from downstairs. Rain was expecting somebody today, someone she hadn't seen in too long. She squinted out the window, seeing some of the neighbors walking by the house. Ima was skipping down the sidewalk, a cheerful look in her eye, a couple of people were chatting across the street, and a couple of the younger PYFF participants were playing jump rope three lots down.

Rain sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "Believe it or not," she laughed, "this isn't my first time dealing with people like you."

"Really?" Bill scoffed. "You've dealt with demons trapped in human bodies before?" He leaned forward abrasively. "Please, tell me their names. Maybe we can exchange numbers. You know, meet up for tea and biscuits."

Rain threw her hands up in frustration and walked to the door. "Your breakfast is still on the table," she said. "Dennis made french toast. You'd better eat it before it gets cold or I'll eat it for you. You're not my favorite person today."

"I'm not your favorite person any day," Bill countered.

"Eh, that's only half true," Rain shrugged. She closed the door behind her as she left, and Bill heard her footsteps racing back down the stairs. He huffed, closed the curtains, and followed suit, stumbling down the stairs as if this were the first time he had descended them.

He could never quite get his feet to work when going _down_ the stairs. Going up the stairs was simple enough. It was just walking but upwards. He reasoned that it should've been the same going down, just walking but downwards and all that, but he managed to trip up every time.

Bill ended up losing his balance, falling flat on his face as he tripped over the final step. Try as she might, Rain couldn't contain a chuckle at the demon's expense. He only stared upward at her, making an effort to look at least the slightest bit angry, but found he didn't quite have the energy to do so.

Rain ignored him of course, stretching her arms to the ceiling and bringing the thermostat on the wall down a few notches. It was getting closer to the end of August, but the air was still a little warm from the summer sun. She shifted over to the fridge, opening the door and grabbing a carton of milk. She squinted at the best by date, trying to read the tiny print.

"My eyes must not be working yet," she half-yawned. "Either that or my brain refuses to process stuff at the moment." She turned to Bill, who had trudged up behind her. "Can you read the best by date for me please?"

"It ain't supposed to go bad for another two years," he answered. "You'll be fine."

"Thanks," Rain chuckled. "I like to check new milk just to be sure. One time I opened a carton and poured it and it was all goopy. Sort of like slime." She cringed slightly, shutting the refrigerator door and opening the cupboard. She grabbed a glass and poured herself some milk, taking a small sip afterward. "Want some?"

"No," Bill answered bluntly. He grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard and reached into the fridge for the orange juice. He poured himself some sloppily, spilling some onto the table, causing Rain to giggle.

"What's so funny?" he demanded, daring her, with his eyes, to speak out against him.

"N-Nothing," Rain snickered, closing the refrigerator. "Sorry." She picked up her milk glass and shuffled over to the couch. She plopped down, picking up the remote and switching to a random channel. She flipped through a few, not surprised to find that nothing interesting was on. Bill slapped the remote out of her hand when she flipped to a dead one, and she knew better than to object.

Besides, it wasn't as though there was anything better on.

"Not to be rude, but why do you like the dead channels so much?" Rain started.

"Why do you ask?" Bill responded almost curiously.

"Just asking."

The demon thought for a moment. He hadn't really considered the question. "It's interesting," he concluded. "Keeps my mind busy, I guess." He sipped a bit of his orange juice. "I was planning on going out today. Though I might let you know."

"What for?"

"You know that Dean kid we met yesterday?"

"Yeah, I remember him."

"He invited me to that coffee shop next to the pizza place," he continued. "He said I seemed like a cool guy and he'd love to get to know me more. He said to meet me at two o'clock, but I wanna go down there a little earlier to look at the stores 'n' stuff."

Rain stared at him blankly. "Okay, then. I can let you borrow twenty-five dollars if you wanna go and buy something nice for yourself."

"What, you trust me with _money_ now?"

"Should I not?" Rain chuckled. "If you want me not to trust you with money, do something irresponsible with it. Considering I've never given you money before, I have no reason to believe I shouldn't trust you. And I already trust you with most things, anyway."

Bill froze, going over the words in his head. _She trusts me._ Rain might as well have thrown a cinder block at his head. She stood up and grabbed her purse from the coat hanger, humming a little.

"Anyways, you're a demon, right?" she continued, smirking mischievously. "I don't think you've ever had a reason to _use_ money, let alone have it, though I don't doubt you've... _possessed_ it." She winked, giggling at her own little joke.

I will not tell you what happened next, because it was relatively uninteresting and, frankly, boring to write. So instead we'll learn about what happened about thirty or so minutes later after Bill had stepped off of the bus to Downtown Fiction.

Bill had been walking down Downtown Fiction's sidewalks for a while now, just taking in the sights and deciding where to spend the twenty-five dollars Rain had given him. He stopped to look at the display in the clothing store's window. He had never been told the human stereotypes before, and frankly, he didn't care. He wondered whether or not the pleated skirt in the window would look good or not. If he was going to be human, he may as well look stylish.

Cedar Volkov, nearby, stopped walking to wipe his head. Temperatures above forty degrees were not his thing, so it was starting to wear him out. He glanced around, looking for someplace that was air-conditioned. He picked the nearest shop and ran in, hoping not to bump into anyone he knew. He sighed in relief, as the air was much cooler, but still too warm for his liking.

Bill saw Cedar run into the store and immediately knew that something was off about him. He lacked the normal human aura that most people in the city carried. He scoffed a little, reminding himself that most people in the multiverse weren't human, anyways. Still, something struck him as odd, so he followed Cedar inside.

Cedar glanced around at the things in the shop and thought they were pretty nifty, so he decided to actually look further into it. He saw someone who worked there and asked, "You have a freezer I could stand in…?" They looked at him in confusion and turned back to their work.

 _God...just gonna let me suffer,_ he thought.

Bill approached the man cautiously, trying to make himself look as much like a normal customer as possible. The side glances he was getting from the other patrons were not helping. They still recognized him, but they were much more used to his presence by now.

Cedar picked up something fragile off a shelf, then put it back down. He figured it would be safer on the shelf than in his hands. He continued to walk aimlessly around the shop, stopping to look closer at an item every few feet.

Bill stared at Cedar, trying to figure out why this man was so off-putting. He had seen him before, back when he could see everything at once, but he could hardly remember him. Cedar's aura felt almost nuclear; the man was radiating some sort of strange energy. His skin looked more like bark than flesh, and Bill would've reached out and touched it if he had less impulse control.

Cedar looked at Bill from the corner of his eye and stepped to the side to get a little further from him. He picked up another small thing and read what it was made of. He cringed, electing to put it back down and never pick it up again.

Bill just couldn't piece...well, whatever he was trying to piece together. He wasn't very sure of what that was yet. He picked up a scented candle from off the shelf. The label read "Pine Tree." Bill let out a long, loud cackle that the other customers tried to ignore. Cedar looked over at Bill, a worried expression creeping onto his face. He slowly backed up, then turned and started to walk away.

" _Pine tree!_ " Bill chuckled. "I haven't heard that name in Satan knows how long! Oh, I've gotta buy that one." He turned to look at Cedar again, who he noticed was starting to back up. "What, ya scared?" Bill scoffed. "Unless you haven't heard this stupid city's rumors, you'd know I'm harmless."

"No, I am actually just worried that you are insane," Cedar said with a smile. He noticed something glimmery on the bottom shelf and Slav-squatted to look at it. It was a set of four earrings, though one was missing.

 _Perfect,_ he thought, _three earrings, three piercings_.

"Insane?" Bill snorted. "In another world, I'd be _completely_ sane. But I guess that here I'm out of my mind. Try askin' a crazed man if what he thinks he does is normal." He grabbed a shopping basket from nearby and placed the candle in it.

As Cedar stood up, still holding the earrings, he felt a small crack from his knee. "Damn fragile bones," he muttered, rubbing his knee. He walked (or, rather, he limped) over to the cashier. "I'll take these, please!"

"Ma'am, it's missing one," the cashier said.

Cedar laughed a bit at the "ma'am." "I know," he said with a smile. "I only have three piercings, anyway!"

The cashier sighed and wrapped up the earrings. "That'll be $15.27…" Cedar pulled a twenty dollar bill out of his shoe and handed it to the cashier, who gave him his change.

"Спасибо!" he said with a grin. He turned towards the exit, hoping to get out before anyone would try to talk to him again.

Bill looked over at a small section labeled "Christmas decorations."

 _These dumb humans and their traditions,_ he thought. _I thought Christmas started in December. What is it, late August?_

He looked curiously in Cedar's direction. He approached a self-checkout, not wanting to catch anybody's attention. He paid for the candle and a small, wooden clock, then hurried out the door.

Cedar had started running, or at least he tried to run, as soon as he left. He eventually had to stop and sit on a nearby bench because of the pain from his knee. Bill saw Cedar stop as soon as he stepped out.

"Hey, are you—"

He stopped himself, trying not to give in to his newfound human sympathy. Instead, he stared at Cedar's knee, wondering what the man meant by "fragile bones."

Cedar glanced up at Bill in pain. "Hey, you got anything I can wrap this with?" he sighed. "Like a scarf or a bandage…?" He fiddled with the long, blonde strip of hair hanging in his eyes.

Bill scoffed but pulled his scarf out of his pocket. He'd put it there earlier in case it got cold. He handed it to Cedar, trying not to feel sorry.

"Thank you," Cedar said, wrapping it tightly around his knee with his left hand. "Left hand...right knee...why does this always happen?!"

"Is this...normal for you?" Bill asked.

"It's usually my shoulder," he muttered. "But yes, this happens a lot. Little bones make for a lot of pain."

Bill raised an eyebrow, bits and pieces of the puzzle starting to fit together. "You're not entirely human, are you?" he chuckled.

"I don't know anymore," he said, looking up. "All I do know is that I'm not entirely alive, but I'm not dead, either…"

"Heh...well, I guess we'd be in the same boat, then," Bill chuckled. He suddenly remembered this man's name from memories long ago. "Name's Bill Cipher. And you'd be Cedar Volkov, correct?"

"Yes, but...please call me Rose," Cedar said with a stern expression. "How about we talk when I am not suffering from pain?"

"Sure, then, Rose," Bill laughed. "We'll keep in touch." He started to turn but looked back over his shoulder. "Real quick, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly _are_ you?"

"Human. I think," Cedar said, glancing up at the sky. "As I said, talk later when my mind can actually think." He stood and grabbed his bag, disappearing shortly after, leaving a small trace of dust hovering in the air where he was.

Bill stared at the spot where Cedar had been. He smirked.

 _What a strange man…_

Bill continued walking, stopping again at the clothing store. He decided he would go back in later if he had the time. It was almost two o'clock now, and Dean would be expecting him at the coffee place at any minute. Luckily, he could see the coffee shop across the street, so he picked up the pace and jogged the rest of the way.

* * *

"Rain N. Thirteen, huh?" Nastasia sighed, looking through the PYFF database about as feverishly as a child with chicken pox looking for a lost toy. "Now where have I heard that name before?" She rubbed her temples irritably, opening up a large packet of paper comprised of printed files she had pirated from PYFF's deleted archives.

Mimi groaned indignantly, peering through the papers with distaste. "Three hours of downtime for yourself and _this_ is how you spend it?" She hopped up onto a spindly chair and crossed her arms. "Geez, Nassy, I didn't know you could be so _boring._ Looking through paperwork for specific bullet points… You could've stored this all on a USB or something!"

"May I remind you that every time I've ever bought a USB, you use it for your music and diary entries?"

"How else am I supposed to keep Dimmy from searching through my stuff?!" the green girl argued. "He couldn't operate a computer with the instruction manual in front of him. Even if he found my USBs, he wouldn't be able to open the stuff on them!"

Nastasia sighed. "We're getting off topic." She leaves through her notes until she found what she wanted. "See this?" She pointed to a picture of a young girl, no older than fourteen, her short, brown hair swept to the side.

"What about it?" Mimi replied, raising an eyebrow. "It's just some dumb hero."

Nastasia snatched a few papers from the pile she had been steadily accumulating. "What about this one?" she demanded. The picture was of a twelve-year-old girl, her brown hair wavy, barely reaching past her chin.

"Her face looks the same," Mimi grunted. "What's your point?"

Nastasia smacked another file on the table, pointing to a picture of a young woman. Her age was indiscernible, her purple hair was shaved on one side, and the other side reached her shoulder.

"Okay, they all look the same!" Mimi snapped. "Get to the point!"

Finally, Nastasia opened up Rain N. Thirteen's file on the PYFF database. Mimi squinted at the picture, then at the other three.

"Coincidence," she breathed.

"Is it?" Nastasia grinned. "They were all born on the same day, too. December thirteenth. They're all part of programs by the same sponsor. PYFF wasn't always PYFF. There was HAUT, YHTP, EOFV, the list goes on and on…"

"Heroes Against Universal Threats, Youth Hero Training Program, and End Oppression From Villains," Mimi recalled. "She was part of them all." She took a look at the names. "Selena Oryan, Gigi Rowanne, Diana Thirteen…"

"But they're all listed as unofficial names," Nastasia continued. "Except Rain N. Thirteen, and that file was created a month after she legally changed her name."

Mimi had made a paper into an airplane. "How do you learn all this stuff, anyway?"

Nastasia snatched the paper out of her hand and unfolded it. "Simple, I did my research." She held the file in front of her. "See, she listed Diego Santiago as her brother, and he hasn't changed his name once." She frowned. "But a lot of Santiago names went missing pretty recently. I can't say exactly who she is, but I'm getting there."

Mimi hopped off the stool. "Well, if that's all you wanted to talk to me about…"

"You're a good listener, Mimi," Nastasia smiled. "You're a good friend, too. No one else has to listen to this nonsense."

Mimi winked. "Hey, don't sweat it. I don't mind listening to you talk. You have a nice voice, anyways." She skipped out of the room, humming a little tune to herself, and Nastasia returned to her work. As Mimi skipped by, Dimentio strolled down the hall, having just returned to the manor. The green girl's demeanor changed in a flash, and she scowled at his appearance.

"Where have you been, Dumb-entio?" she demanded, crossing her arms. "Out with your girlfriend?"

"You know very well that Saimin likes women," Dimentio answered simply. "And my personal life is none of your business."

"Well, you haven't been helping at all, so it sort of _is_ my business," Mimi pouted.

"Well, I've certainly been more useful than _you,_ " Dimentio chuckled. "So I suppose whatever's in your diary is also _my_ business."

Mimi huffed, and Dimentio half expected her to start stomping her feet. "I hate it when you use my words against me," she snarled. "It's almost like you can turn anything into a weapon, even words."

"Well, you know what they say," Dimentio started. "The pen is—"

"The pen is mightier than the sword, whatever," Mimi groaned. "Where are you off to, anyway?"

"I have an assignment," the jester answered. "Kit and Ubidium are to accompany me."

Mimi rolled her eyes, not knowing who 'Ubidium' was, but not particularly interested in finding out. "Well, you'd better do a good job, or else you're gonna get a face full of spider from yours truly."

"I suppose I shall perish," Dimentio chuckled, beginning his trip to Black Hat's office.

* * *

"Incident what now?"

"Incident 123-76B," Morgan groaned. "Honestly, Rain, I'd have thought you'd already known about this sort of stuff since you pay so much attention to current events and whatnot."

Rain spread herself across the couch, placing her legs on Morgan's lap. "I paid attention to current events in sixth grade. I don't even have to go to school anymore. Shouldn't I get some rest from all that learning stuff? It makes me wanna pass out."

"True," Morgan agreed, eating another spoonful of applesauce. They grimaced a little at the taste. "This isn't even the good kind, Rain. Where do you get your groceries?"

"There's a good kind?" Rain asked, which made Morgan laugh.

The two had known each other since elementary school and had started dating in what would've been the eighth grade, had Rain not dropped out to re-enter the hero program. They hadn't seen each other in a considerably long time, at least not since Rain's last adventure. It had been even longer since the two had gotten to spend a good time together, and now that they had all the time in the world to themselves…

"I'm really glad we have all this time to be together again," Rain sighed happily. "You can even meet some of the others if you want."

"Sure," Morgan answered. "But are you absolutely sure this 'Ima' is safe to be around?"

"She seemed fine," Rain replied. "Besides, didn't that incident occur more than a year ago? She hasn't done anything bad since. We can trust her."

"You trust too easily."

"Has it ever gotten me into trouble?"

Morgan thought for a moment. "No," they admitted. "I just want you to be careful, is all. You never know when your luck is gonna… backfire, I guess."

The door opened behind the two, then slammed shut, signaling to Rain that Bill had just arrived. Morgan turned their head half-heartedly, not sure whether or not to be interested in whoever had just walked in. Bill slid lazily around the corner in a pair of Heelys and a pleated skirt, drinking from a smoothie with a bendy straw, only coming to a halt when he realized that Rain had company.

"Uh, excuse me?" he started, his eyes narrowing. "Who's this?"

"Oh, this is Morgan," Rain answered. "I told you about them. They're my partner."

"Partner as in partner in crime or as in a date?" Bill asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Both."

"Oh." He walked over to Morgan and held out a hand to shake. "Nice to meet you or whatever."

Morgan smiled awkwardly. "You, too."

It was clear that neither was glad to meet the other, as Bill gripped Morgan's hand a little too tightly, and they responded with a glare of malice. Bill seemed to take this as a threat, as he promptly pulled his hand away.

"Don't get comfortable," Bill hissed. He stomped up the stairs, squeezing his smoothie until it broke open. He stopped halfway, threw it to the ground, then paraded to his room. There was a slam from upstairs and all was quiet.

"Well, that could've gone better," Rain muttered.

"Could it have?" Morgan groaned.

"Oh, that's just him. He hates me for absolutely no reason."

"Well, that seems unnecessary, now doesn't it?" they retorted, more to Bill's attitude than to Rain's remark. They slid back onto the couch and Rain followed suit, resting her head on Morgan's shoulder.

"Oh, and I finally got my name changed," Rain mentioned. "Rain N. Thirteen. Legally."

"What's the last name for?"

"Mostly just security, at least until PYFF clears all that stuff up for me. I might have the last name changed back to the family name, but you know I'll always be Rain."

"Duh," Morgan chuckled. "We've been calling you Rain since March of last year. It was about time you made it official." They leaned back into the couch, stifling a yawn. "Maybe we should celebrate. Have a party or something."

"We could open some champagne."

They laughed. "We're both too young to drink and you know it."

"Someday," Rain giggled. "But not today.

Newton scurried in through the front door, Wheatley close behind. Wheatley looked terrified, whilst Newton looked more angered. They slammed the door shut simultaneously, both breathing hard and fast. There was a deafening silence for a few seconds, all four of the room's occupants sharing looks of fear and confusion.

"Villains," the lightbulb muttered. "Three of them. The clown's back, but this time he has a little kid and what looks like a large block of coal with glowing eyes."

Rain peeked over the couch at the front yard, scowling. "Great, clown boy and his friends," she muttered. "And here I thought we were having a _good_ day."

"Haven't I heard that sentence somewhere before?" Wheatley asked.

"Luckily," Morgan chimed in, "Rain and I know a few...err, fighting techniques." They shared a glance with Rain that the other seemed to understand, a signal that went unnoticed by both Newton and Wheatley. "Come on, you wanna go show 'em what we're made of?"

Rain nodded, a broad smile on her face. "Of course."


	17. Update

Hey, guys.

I'm so sorry, but I'm discontinuing this story, at least on .

I've found the doc manager to be extremely confusing, and I have a mass update that I need to get out.

I'll be leaving the story up, but you can find the rest of it on:

AO3

Wattpad

Quotev

Thank you for understanding!

Sincerely, Raining13


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